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| Let's Get Something Straight
In 1998, in my Beginnings Series, I introduced a cryogenically preserved case of embryos marked 'GEF', meaning Genetically Enhanced Fetus. Dean, my main scientist, not knowing exactly what GEF stood for, implanted an embryo in an surrogate mother. In a couple months this woman gave birth to a monstrous looking infant made to withstand the elements, be the perfect workhorse, it ran fifty five miles an hour and was very carnivorous. It took them a while to figure out the carnivorous part, after all, the baby really only ate bunnies. However, he was birthed and his mother, developing a fetal maternal love for him, decided to domesticate him, but before she did so, she named her newborn monstrosity . . . Marcus.
Marcus has been a part of my sci fi series for nearly ten years. When I got my killer baby puppet, I had to name him after the character. Just to clear that up for anyone reading this blog who believes I named my puppet after a real person.
Onward . . . embarrassing moments. Have one? Here's mine for tonight.
While working Duke's I'm trying to look cool, act cool, be the upbeat DJ during a crowded show. I had to hurry back to my DJ table, and the crowd blocked the way. Bright idea. Go around the crowd by escaping through the sliding glass doors, onto the patio and around.
Drink in hand, smiling, I rushed to the patio doors thinking they were open . . . SLAM.
They weren't. Not many saw it, I shook it off like a cat. But Drew saw, that was enough. Holding his stomach, unable to contain his laughter, my son walked around the whole bar making sure everyone knew what I did. | | |
| Blockbuster? not
Ok, maybe it's just my opinion. Maybe not. Actually, I spoke to a guy tonight who shared the same opinion.
The Dark Knight.
Maybe I was expecting a great film because everyone raved about it. My own sons called it the best film they ever saw.
A new friend took me to see it tonight and I was like, "What's the big deal?"
Although he liked it. I was bored. I thought it went on too long. I thought Heath Ledger, thought he gave a stunning performance, was strung out on some sort of drug.
Christian Bale wasn't hot enough o be Batman and what was up with the Clint Eastwood voice he did when he was the caped crusader?
Then the actor who played Harvy Dent used the same gravel voice when he was angry. So much so, at one point I swore they switched roles.
It was two and a half hours of mental struggle. A so-so plot with special effects and car chase scenes that made me yawn.
I was highly disappointed in The Dark Knight.
Hailed by Drew as a movie that had him on the edge of his seat. I have to agree, I was on the edge of my seat wanting to leave.
Anyone else see it? | | |
| Bumdigity
So, being the big risk taker now, living life on the edge, I took up the offer of going on a bike run. Now, not a miss piggy, Kermit bike ride, motor cycles. I am the experienced cyclist now.
Is that what it’s called.
300 bikes making the run. Now, maybe I should have researched, since I research everything else. But I didn’t.
I donned my best biker babe clothes, babushka (But I’m pretty sure biker people call them bandanas) tied it like Axel Rose, and had some cool sunglasses. Crackhead, he paid my way, gave me this cool helmet. One of those small, half helmets.
Then Eric showed up for the run. I was now going to ride with Eric. Which OK, wasn’t a bad thing because he’s bigger. When I was riding with Crackhead he didn’t block the wind. I couldn’t catch my breath and I swore I swallowed a bug.
Anyhow, Eric shows up. He says, ‘take off that helmet.’ Eek. No, I am not riding without a helmet.
‘No, you’re gonna wear a helmet, but there’s no way I’m letting you wear the small helmet. For this you will wear a full head and face.’
Huh?
He puts this huge, darth Vadar helmet on me. It’s heavy. I feel like a bobble head, every time he sped up I was bobbing. And instead of having ‘Bad to the Bone’ playing in my head, I’m singing ‘Speed Racer’.
No one told me what a bike run was. No one told me that this run was extra long and even the most experienced bikers were gonna have trouble. No one told me my bum was going to hurt so bad.
Good God! The seat didn’t seem that bad until an hour and a half later when I asked Eric if he could pull over so I could check to see if my uterus hadn’t shaken out.
Today, I can’t sit. My boney bum is hurting so bad. My entire lower extremities are hurting. I know, I know too much information.
I survived. After the run, we ate, and I rode home. Riding down our street on a Harley, I see Noah and Simon they’re getting out of a car. They pause and watch.
Noah told me, “Mom, I’m standing there, watching this Harley. I’m thinking. Why is that Harley look like it’s riding to our house. Why is it slowing down. Who is . . . Dear God that’s my mother!”
He said he laughed because I looked the part really well, but the moment I spoke and moved, it was totally obviously I was way too prissy to even remotely be a biker babe.
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| The Road to Singlehood
The Road to singlehood is paved with a lot of things. Quiet nights. One less place to set for dinner. One less pork chop to fry. Only one side of the bed to make. Quiet, oh, so Quiet times just about that time you wanna watch TV . . .
I have taken a new attitude in life. I'm gonna live life.
Period.
Do things I never did. Enjoy my new outlook.
Friday night I went to Bareoke. The strip club with Karaoke. I didn't sing. I watched. I was the silent observer, the writer in me took over. Soon, I observed some man walking in. I thought he had a pool stick, then I realized, 'Good God, he's blind'
A blind man at a strip club. I watched and saw the strippers take his money. He was accompanied by a 6 foot 9, one arm manned. They were passing out money left and right. The strippers were no holds bar from taking his funds.
So I saw my cause, I went over, introduced myself and told him I would be his seeing eye dog for the strip club. That was of course, after I yelled at him for spending all his money.
It was a test of my writer skill. I narrated what was happening, in play by play action. But he enjoyed it.
Gonna end this now, really tired, but I'll finish in the morning and tell you why my bum hurts. | | |
| Did you SEE???????? Oh my God!
Did you see, did you, huh?
Comments today (August 14th) take a look under the Vibrations Blog. My baby got five minutes on the computer and she went to my blog and left a comment. You know, immediately I checked footprints. Sure enough, South Carolina. Oh shit, I am smiling ear-to-ear. Kinda smart. Really. Five minutes on a computer, and she thought of a way to get me a message and see how I was doing. I miss her so much. God, this felt good! | | |
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