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| I was ten..maybe 11 i don't know, but i'm sure know that i was in Korea, and i was with her. i can still remember her face. Sometimes, i hate studying so much that i kinda (?) ran away from home and stayed in the play ground the whole day. i don't know what i was thinking, i mean, i was little and it's too early to think about those stuffs. anyway, while i was lay down or playing toys in the play ground, a girl just came to me and say "hey jinsu, do u wanna come to my birthday party?". okay, well, first of all, how did she know my name and second, how do i even know her well enough to get invited to her birthday party? it was so random that i couldn't even say anything but "uhhh....uh......". then she looked kinda upset because i didn't say anything, and then she left me by myself. later that night, when i came back from the playground, of course, i got yelled by my parents, then i went to my room, sat in the chair, put my arms on the desk and thinking..."WHO WAS IT? "...i was thinking so hard that i sat in the chair for an hour and half min.. i never ever sat in the chair for more than a half min. it was.. miracle to me. miracle to everyone who knows me. anyway..next day, i went to the school, i was having fun with my friends as usual and guess what? nothing happened..well, then later that night, i went to the playground just in case if she was there or not, and yes she was, she was sitting in the bench and crying......i was kinda scared so i ran away...after a few weeks later , i found out that her mom died by a car accident that night she was crying. so..i figured she was crying because her mom died...or she was crying because.. i didn't go to her birthday party. and now, i realized that she knew me all the time in the school, my friends told me that she liked me..and because of my stupidity, i didn't realize she was around me...it was like air around me which i can't feel it, and now i realized how much air was important to me, just like she was important......so you know, Somewhere, there is someone who dreams of your smile and finds in your pressence that life is worthwhile. So when you are lonely, remember it's true; somebody, somewhere is thinking of you....anyway, that was my story, a piece of my life...
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| someday i will become an engineer and working with a bunch of smart people, and someday, i will get married with a girl who can trust me more than anyone else in the world, and someday, i will have my children who will look up to me and say "we need money to buy cars". and someday, i will be sitting on the chair and looking back all the memories i have spent with my friends, family. and someday, i will realize that how important and necessary to live this life, and how miserable would my life be without any problems, happiness, terrible happenings...the truth is..at the moment you are having problems with your life, you obviously aren't happy, but..when you look back and think about those moments after years later, you might realize that those moments are something that build your life continuously. we can't have just happiness in our life, we need to have problems, sadness. Just like to make a healthy tree, not only sunshine but it needs rain, wind, and snow to be grown up...that's same as our lives. we can't have just happiness in our lives..we may have problems... ... -Jinsu's thoughts-....oh by the way...happy birthday Jinsu.... | | |
| People start to blame on God because He didn't give what you asked for...but the truth is..He already gave you a "Life"....that's a gift no one can give you except Him sometimes, I don't thank to God when I'm doing well, but i look for God when i need his help...yes, that who we are, humans...and that could be the one reason why i hate to be a human being. -Jinsu's thoughts-
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| paraphrasing what Senator John Kerry said : "Anyone whose out there fighting for our nation is an idiot. And we, homies, who don't even know how to use a gun are intelligent...".....very interesting comment by Mr. Kerry. | | |
| self-respect..yes that's what i need. I'm a coward..well. i'm not really scared of any object but..i'm scared of being an asshole...i always try to go to an easy way, try not to make people mad, try not to complain anything to anybody(i even don't complain to a cook if there is a bug on my food..hate to get complicated)..try not to make any trouble......some people say it's good that i have a GOOD PERSONALITY, but i think that is the weakness of me. like..how am i going to survive out there at the different environment, society if i don't want to argue with anybody? my mom always had told that i have a lack of self-respect..i couldn't say anything back to her because...it's right......it's sooo true that..i had to look at her eyes for a long time.....that is all i have to say today.. | | |
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