It is wonkin' 4:30 in the morning, and I am still not asleep.  I am so tired that I have that nautious feeling when your body is really tired, but I have not been able to sleep a wink.  It really kinda stinks. But anyway, so Im posting.  This break has probably been one of the weirdest breaks I have ever had.  Im not sure whether to say it has been good or bad.  A lot has happened with my mom being so sick and having 3 surgeries so that has taken a tole on all of us.  We were all definitely pretty worried there for a bit, but hopefully after this last surgery she will be able to get back on her feet and finally recover. Plus also getting ready to move without actually knowing where we are moving has put us under a lot of stress.  My house has been so full of worry this break, which of course I know that is definitely not from God, but that's what has been happening. it's kind of frustrating because I know it's not that complicated and would really totally much rather trust in God.  Im seeing some things surface in my family and myself that are definetly not pretty.  I know that again in itself is not a good thing at all, but Im trying to look at it as a good thing that God is revealing these things to us and letting our impurities come to the surface so that He can wipe them away. I think one thing the Lord has shown me over this break is different level of purity and what that is.   It takes surrender. I love that word so much, I just need to learn to completely embrace it.  It's awesome! Like when Jesus, the night before He was crucified when He ate with his deciples at the last supper stooped down and washed His diciples feet (even Judas!). That's a pretty dirty job. Peter decided that He shouldnt do that.  That that job was for someone of lowlier (if that's a word) stature.  But Jesus told Peter, that he didnt know what he was talking about and if he didnt let Him wash his feet, that he could have no part of Him.  Then He told them to go and do likewise.  It's amazing that the saviour of the world stooped down and washed their feet.  That He being GOD'S SON humbled himself to even wash a mans feet.  Not only did He humble himself enough to die for us, but He humbled himself enough to even do the little stuff. He didnt just love us in His death, but He loved us so much every day of His life.  That's amazing! And that is still what God does when he saves our lives from sin. He, Himself, the purest of all purites.  Who defines purity humbles himself enough to bend down and wash our heart of all it's dirty grime and filthiness and just says "Here, let me get that for you" That still just blows my mind that He would do that.  

Im still not sure if Im ready to come back to school because I still have somethings to do and learn.  But at the same time, it is going to be a completely fresh start even with a new roommate.  Mine decided to get married! Im not sure what came over that crazy girl!!...jk!  I miss her so very, very much.  It was absolutely beautiful wedding and she looked breath taking.  I know this sounds weird and funny, but I cried that night and the next morning because it hit me so hard.  Im very proud of her and she really could not have married a better man.  It will definitely be different after having the same roommate for 4 years, but it's also exciting as well.  Jessica Smith moved has moved in who is amazing and also getting married (oh yeah, if you want to get married just, move in with me and you are a shoe in!) Im excited for her! Oh and is always so fun living with Miranda! Gosh that girl is amazing! I love her!

Currently Listening A Charlie Brown Christmas: The Original Sound Track Recording Of The CBS Television Special By Vince Guaraldi Trio see related

Woohooo!!! It's Christmas! Merry Christmas! Praise the Lord!! I hope everyone had an amazing, wonderful Christmas! I pray that in Jesus name that through this time we and our families and friends continue to realize the true meaning of Christmas.  We can celebrate our Saviors birth! I read this online through this email I get everyday.  I thought everyone might enjoy it! We actually sang that verse during our Lessons and Carols concert and my gosh it blessed me.  You know if angels sing it, what the heck are we doing. Anyway, God bless you in Jesus name! I pray that you and your families and friends truly experience even more Christ's everlasting, algope love during this time in Jesus name! Merry Christmas!!

The source of peace

Yeah! It's finals week! I only have two days of finals praise the Lord! Today I had conducting which I think went pretty well, but was just really, really, really...intense! It consisted of over analyzing how you would conduct Beethoven's first symphony.  Yeah, it was kinda crazy but sort of fun at the same time. I really do enjoy conducting very much.  It sounds funny, but there are so many spiritual applications in conducting. Kinda weird, but everytime I read my conducting book it ministered to me.  I think that's why I love conducting so much. Anyway, so that's one down and 3 more to go.  Tomorrow I have History, British Lit, and my jury! Woohoo! Then Im done for the rest of the week. I am soo excited! I can actually enjoy the last couple of days of this semester and actually get things done. However on thursday Im going to texas tech to get my sister and go shopping which will be a blast. Im excited to spend that time with just my parents and me.  So all in all it has been a good day so far.  I also just found out after everybody telling me that I have pink eye  is actually not true! I went to the doctor and I dont have pink eye. Just an irritation! So that's actually a praise! So YAY!

How Beautiful the hands that served the wine and the bread and the sons of the earth, How Beautiful the feet that walked the long dusty roads and the hill to the cross. How Beautiful! How Beautiful! How Beautiful is the Body of Christ!

How Beautiful the heart that bled that took all my sin and bore it instead. How Beautiful the tender eyes that choose to forgive and never despise. How Beautiful! How Beautiful! How Beautiful is the Body of Christ!

And as he laid down his life, we offer this sacrifice that we will live just as he died, willing to pay the price. Willing to pay the price!

How Beautiful the Radiant Bride who waits for her Groom with His light in her eyes. How Beautiful when humble hearts give the fruit of  pure life so that others may live. How Beautiful! How Beautiful! How Beautiful is the body of Christ!

How Beautiful the faith that bring the sound of good news and the love of the king.  How Beautiful the hands that serve the wine and the bread and the sons of the earth. How Beautiful! How Beautiful! How Beautiful is the body of Christ!

I love this song so much.  It is so true! Gosh we serve such a Beautiful, absolutely Magnificent God. This is what it is all about! Nothing compares to the Beauty of the Lord!  Oh goodness How I long to write music.  I know I have it in me and it is definitely in my heart. Im just not exactly sure how to get it out.  I feel like Im waiting but Im not sure what Im waiting for.  I feel it inside me very strongly. It is a song of pure freedom. 

It has definitly been a long time since last I posted but lately I have been so exhausted from everything that I have not been inspired to post.  Anyway,  I went to band banquet tonight and my roomates (Miranda and Joy) were soo fun!- no joke.We had such a great time.  I am really glad that I decided to go.  They are pretty amazing and beautiful girls. 

I should be in bed now, and my roomate is giving me the evil eye because she is tired and we have to get up in less than 5 hours to go sing and make christmas presents for some kids in Mexico. I love mexico. I love my beautiful roomates- ecspecially the one who is leaving me in less than two weeks to go back to China- i'm really going to miss her. I think i'll pray for her while she is gone. You should too.

goodnight.