It's that special day for my xanga bff purplepixiepoo, so go say something nice to her.

I told her I'd do something for her birthday, so here it is, my birthday surprise. Now to you, birthday girl, you can use this as a profile pic or whatever, just enjoy it. I know it's not much, but all I have is MS Paint, so imagine the time I put into it.

Hey everybody, the big moment is approaching. Tomorrow morning I'm grabbing a Greyhound bus and heading out. A bit more than a day later, I'll be home for the first time in two years. I'll be in Cedar Rapids from the 4th until the 7th. If you live in the Cedar Rapids area, this is your (rare) chance to see me, so let me know if you want to hang out.

Yes, my fellow Xangans, I'll be making an effort to take lots of pictures and maybe some video, and I might update some while I'm there; if not, I'll tell you all about it when I get home. Also, I'll be logging in to keep up with other people periodically, especially in an effort to support purplepixiepoo's Miss XangAmerica campaign, so don't worry about me ditching you; I'm still behind you.

I realize that it's been quite a while since I've done a proper blog, and I am terrible at keeping up with everyone. I'm sorry, guys. I haven't really done a lot lately. Mostly I've been busy chatting with friends, especially my new bff (you know who you are). It's been wonderful, and I've felt the need to smile stupidly all the time.

There has been one thing getting me down, though; to make a long story short, I lost a bunch of files. Most of my stories (finished and otherwise) got erased. It's not too bad; I still remember my ideas and have and would have rewritten what I had anyway. 4th and Park, the story I've been intending to get written for a few months now, was saved, and I have it back now, so I maybe will finish it soon.

Also, I've started a couple of secret projects. More will be revealed in time.

Lastly, I'm a campaign manager for purplepixiepoo in Miss XangAmerica. Go show her your support. I wouldn't ask that of you, but she deserves it. I'd support her anyway because she's a great friend and because she helped me so much in Xangan Idol 2, but she's done some really awesome stuff with her site for this; I'm quite impressed. I honestly think she deserves to win. I'll have more on this later.

Does anyone know why FMB would block me? I'm not sure when it happened (except that it was at least a few weeks ago) or why. I sent her a message about it when I figured it out, but I assume that it was blocked. After that I gave up and let it be, but today it started bothering me again. I just want to know what I did to offend her, so I can apologize for it. If you are reading this, FMB, please just let me know. I don't know what I said wrong, but I take it back.

A friend asked me recently why I have an interest in eating disorders. I want you to know; this is a side of me you haven't seen.

If you came looking for a story about low self esteem, a hidden eating disorder, and recovery, then this is the wrong place. I've never suffered through that. If you would like to read something like that, I highly recommend this post. In fact, read the page in that link before you read the rest of this entry.

Did you stop and read it? Go, shoo, away with you!

Okay, now back to me. Despite not having gone through an eating disorder myself, I have some personal experience with them. A few of my friends have fought eating disorders. I wish I could tell you stories about how they hit rock bottom, I helped them through, and I learned some big life lesson from the whole experience. That's not true either, though. I wasn't there. For most I was far, far away and only found out long afterward.

Here's a story that's true: a good friend of mine went through a rough patch and started being anorexic. I didn't notice; I was busy. One day, she told me that she hadn't eaten for a week. I had seen her every day and been too self-involved to realize it. Even then, though I don't remember what I did, I doubt that my reaction was very helpful. I think mostly I said, "You have to eat," more often.

I didn't have an epiphany while recovering from an ED, "I could help other people through this too." I didn't have an epiphany while helping someone else pull his/her life together, "There are others who could use my help too." My epiphany came because I learned long after the fact that one of my friends had nearly died because of an ED, "I can't let this happen again."

Never again.

I realized a few months ago how many Xangans were suffering through such things. I'm not the best friend, I'm not an expert, and I can't offer much empathy, but I know what I have to do.