In the library...procrastinating...not feeling this whole school work thing...mentally preparing myself for my 3 hour at 2...just feeling blah
I must be PMSing...on the real...the past few days i've just been feeling blah...wanting to do nothing more but get in my bed, curl up, and sleep...cry...and then sleep some more...i haven't had the urge to really talk on the phone for real for real...the effort of dialing and holding it is more than i want right now..i jsut want to sleep...sleep...and sleep some more
Maybe cuz of my mood I've been thinking a lot...not completely positive thoughts...just about life...mostly home life in general...i want to go home...i really do...but i don't think i want to be in my house...like i just don't want to be bothered with that environment...i want to be with my mom...i wish i could just take her away...me and her...far away so that we can be together but just not there...she wouldn't understand...i can't exactly tell her...
I may just come back to Philly earlier...maybe not tell anyone...just come back shortly after the New Year...curl up in my bed and not get up til classes begin...watch tv, eat random foods, shop, and just spend time with me...maybe i'm in only child mode right now...
i've made my decision...i will...just not now...not until i kno the time is right...not until the bigger part that's screaming no is in agreement with the smaller part that's pleading with me to say yes...not until small things don't blow up to much bigger things...not until i feel like i'm completely invested...that has to come first...too risky to put it second...
I'm not going to cry...I'm not going to weep...I'm not going to shed a tear...
I'm going to duke it out with WOMAN when I head up yonder...
Jesus, say a prayer for me /You know what I need/Go before the Father and intercede for me/The Enemy desires to sift me as wheat/but like you did for Peter, say a prayer for me |