I put in a lot of effort to provide people with material that won't cause them to regret accidentally visiting my site. 12/10/2009: A story about tampons...

I'm a 21-year-old veteran of my city: I corrected the flaw in open-heart surgery procedure and was the first citizen to realize the practical value of mercury in thermometers. I singlehandedly restored security to a cruise ship captured by 14 trained and armed terrorists, in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. I have cooked a five-star, six-course gourmet meal for a covert meeting between the King of England and the President of the United States, and both told me personally that they were in tears from the perfection of each sensual flavor. On site, before the first concert of his world tour, Elton John suffered a massive stroke and could not play for three weeks. His roadies found me in the audience and I was brought back to Elton's private mobile home, where he asked me to take his place on stage in disguise. I performed the first half of his world tour. I've won three Olympic gold medals and have been knighted twice in my lifetime. <p>But I have never once tried to play DDR.

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Your mind is a powerful tool. Develop it, protect it, use it wisely.