Hey guys! It's me, Mikel, and -- true to form -- I'm Fat, Dumb, and just Happy to be here. Quick question, though: Can you spare some change? I'm outa work, baby need's new shoes, my Rolex is not keeping time, and moma's got a loose tooth . . . Oh, and did I mention my gastro-intestinal discomfort? Turns out I’ve exercised so much intestinal fortitude that I developed irritable bowel syndrome! Pretty shitty, huh? Oh, well. What’s a mother to do? Wouldn’t be right to whine over all the little things that make life so innocuous. Let’s just say, I’d hoped for more. To say otherwise would be an inconvenient truth. And, as I’m sure you will see, I’m not that frigid.

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