hihi

it isn't enough to go on living when nothing seems to make sense. i pretend a happiness i don't feel; i hide my sadness so as not to worry the people around me. recently, i've considered suicide. at night, before i go to sleep, i have long conversations with myself, praying for this idea to go away; it would be such an act of ingratitude, an escape, a way of spreading tragedy and misery over earth. yet if i don't feel life inside me, i'll never be able to accept life outside me.

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