Movies seen so far in 2005....

40 Year Old Virgin
Aeon Flux
The Amityville Horror
Are We There Yet?
The Aristocrats
Assault on Precinct 13
Batman Begins
Be Cool
Beauty Shop
Boogeyman
Bride and Prejudice
Brokeback Mountain
Broken Flowers
Brother to Brother
Capote
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Cinderella Man
Coach Carter
The Constant Gardener
The Corpse Bride
Crash
Diary of a Mad Black Woman
Domino
Downfall
Exorcism of Emily Rose
The Family Stone
Fantastic Four
Fever Pitch
Flightplan
Four Brothers
Good Night, And Good Luck
Grizzly Man
Guess Who
Hide and Seek
History of Violence
Hitch
The Honeymooners
House of Wax
Hustle & Flow
In Her Shoes
The Interpreter
Jarhead
Just Friends
Kingdom of Heaven
Kung Fu Hustle
The Longest Yard
Mad Hot Ballroom
The Man
March of the Penguins
Me and You and Everyone We Know
Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Monster-in-Law
Mysterious Skin
Paradise Now
Rent
The Ring Two
Rize
Robots
Sahara
Sin City
Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants
Syriana
Transamerica
The Upside of Anger
Walk the Line
War of the Worlds
Wedding Crashers
White Noise

Top 10 of 2005 so far...

1. Crash
2. Brokeback Mountain
3. The Constant Gardener
4. Downfall
5. Domino
6. Mysterious Skin
7. Oldboy
8. Upside of Anger
9. Batman Begins
10. Brother to Brother

Honorable Mention:
Capote
History of Violence
Kung Fu Hustle
Mad Hot Ballroom
Rize

After 4 weeks of watching the finalists performance, I've decided to compile a wishlist that I hope would come true for next week:

Everyone who voted for John Stevens and JPL:  Would you come forward and identify who are you?  That way, we can line you up against the wall, and unleash the firing squad on you.  Or, something less violent, we can ship y'all to Australia, the same way England shippped all of their criminals there. 

Contestants: The stage was built for a reason: so that you can be the center of attention and retain all the glory that you would like to have.  Your azz should not be with the audience, b/c we do not wanna watch u in the audience, we wanna watch u on stage!  And Pleaz! Do not high five the members, this is not a pep rally, and you are not a damn politician!

Jasmine:  I gotta support you, but do you hafta wear that flower over your right ear every week?  Yes, we get it!  You're from Hawaii, you're single, and you're cute.  It's the same thing as when Ruben kept wearing his 205 shirts, and it is something, unlike my nappy hair and big head, that you can change!

Fantasia:  May I request that after you sing you diddy, please do not end with "yeah, yeah yeaaaahhhhh"  God, I hated that Destiny's Child song "No, No, No" but at least they mixed it up but switching back and forth from "no, no, no" and "yeah, yeah, yeah"  Can I get a witness? Yeah, yeah, yeeaahhhhh.

Jennifer Hudson: Can we have your Chi-Chi-Chi-Chia! -hair back pleaz?  I think a lot of us prefer that over the "bald spots and miracle grow" that you've been sporting.

Ryan Seacrest: Just stop talking.  You're not funny, u sound like an ig-niant foo b/c u keep asking what "aiight" means (aiight = alright, twit), and u sound so condescending sometimes.  Like when u asked the question "does anyone remember Jim Verraros?"  When AI goes off the air, I'd like to c how long u last. 

John Stevens: Stop singing.  Stop dancing.  Just go home. 

JPL: Read John Stevens.  Oh, and you're not a little teapot, so stop tilting your body like one.  Haven't u realized that once we tip u over, nothing will pour out?

La Toya: You go girl! You go!  Remember, if you do get eliminated.....one word for you: Tamyra!

George: U r the most talented guy, which is prolly not saying much given the crop of guys, but I hope you stay a while.  However, one request: we know there will be a dance named after you called the George for which you bounce up and down like you've been squatting on toilet all ur life, but can u like do the hustle or something for anohter upbeat song?

Diana:  Is that ur real personality?  If there's a sassy b'otch in ur lil body, let it loose.  U just seem fake 2 me. 

I'm getting lazier and lazier in writing these entries, but it's ok, i've already warned everyone about it.  let me just say......WWWWWWHHHHHHATTTTTTT  TTTTHHEEEEEE FFFFUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKK!

How in the fuckin' world did John and Jon get thru?  So u like JPL's dancing?  Take the medication away from an epileptic and I'm sure u'll get the same damn thing.  Do you like the entertainment John Stevens provided?  Well, go to a local biker's bar, and you can see them sing and dance their heart out, much worse than when Bill and Scarlett did at a karoke bar in Lost in Translation. If u must have ur red, i'm sure those bikers will b red from all the liquor.  I swear, Middle America, just b/c u she-bitches r gonna grow up barefoot and living in a trailer park doesn't mean u gotta bring the rest of america down w/ u.  Do u really believe either of those white, cocamamey boys have more talent than La Toya? Jasmine? Jennifer?  George? Fantasia?  Do u same ppl still believe we'll find those WMDs in Iraq?  In case u don't know, it's not the middle east that'll blow ur head off....it's North Korea!  They're lookin' at u w/ their chinky eyes, parading their nukes in ur television set, and b4 u know, u're gonna say....well, "where did those big things come from."  Uh-duh, well, gosh darn it.

Meanwhile, i bet all the asians, me included were watching in horror as both of our representation were in the bottom 2.  And I, was crossing my fingers, toes, legs, and eyes that Jasmine escaped the hellfire, b/c if she didn't, there goes our chances at the title.  From now on, this will be the new rule:  If you're a minority, and you fuck up (no matter how horrendous JS and JPL do), it's over for you.  You have a work twice as hard to earn the same recognition.  Gee, smells like real life? You bet ur azz. 

I dunno if I've mentioned this, if so, i'll remind u again.  Jennifer Hudson had the best performance that nite, and despite that, maybe the director has some beef against her.  Y do u say?  b/c not only once, but twice, the camera cut to her hand gestures which prolly looks normal and fitting if u were at the theatre, but on camera tried to make her look cheesy or overdramatic.  I'm sorry folks, I know a little something about production, tv, and film, and it is no "accident."  Along with editing, the people involved with broadcasting the show, has the power to influence what you think of people, anyone from G.W to Katie Couric.  to the director: don't let the sun go down on Jennifer, ok?  and even if u like J&J, no camera angle would ever make those albino, grass-eating toned-deaf singers look better.  And if u let either of those guys in the top 3, we are gonna go Rodney King on u, and beat ur skinny, anorexic azz up.  If u're under 13 and about to buy a training bra for ur non-existing chest, YOU WILL BE A TARGET!

So proudmarylives stole my thunder on American Idol (along w/ my roommate's panties), but no matter, I shall continue w/ my AI rant.

Before I get started, there was one thing I forgot to mention.  There's this trend that I keep seeing on American Idol, and just the media in general.  Whenever someone tries to change their look, the look gets more and more of that mainstream, i should look white shit.  For example, I personally, loved Jennifer Hudson's hair, it was part of her personality.  Then she straightened it, and now i'm not such a big fan of.  I'm honestly tired of seeing these girls straighten out their hair b/c ethnicity should be fully embraced.  Not that i'm saying they r not proud of their ethnicity, but fuck it.  I got some chinky eyes, and there is no way will i get some plastic surgery to make em look like bug eyes and eventually leading the way to achieving Mary Tyler Moore status.  Just the other day, I saw a commercial on McDonald's where they changed the friggin chicken nuggets from dark meat to white meat.  While savoring her bite of the "new and improved nuggets" the seductive lady goes "I never knew white meat was so much better" or some bullshit like that.  what in the hell?  I prefer dark meat thank u very much, and I prefer soy sauce over mayo ok?  If that didn't make sense, I don't think I get it myself.  One of these days, asian men will be the ultimate beefcake, blk women will be rejecting white men left and right, and George W will kiss my yellow azz. 

Just yesterday, I went to lunch with a friend, and since I have no life, we ended up talking about American Idol.  Her top 3 were Jasmine, La Toya, and George, and no matter who you talk to, most of our top idols were minorities.  There is no way in hell America is gonna vote in a top 3 filled with minorities.  As if voting for us will result in chaos.  In a world where blk/latinos are getting beat up on "Cops" and where some of us think white is right, I don't think the best will win this season. 

And just when u thought John Stevens couldn't do worse than we already have in the past, this week he decided to reach for the stars and dance his little bland heart out.  I dunno how long his set was timed at, but I shriveled up like a prune, even squeezing my buttcheeks together in an attempt to shield me from the torture that is this damn red-head. His singing is more abrasive than using a leaf to wipe ur azz after experiencing amoebic diahrea.  Please put one of us out of our misery!

(to be continued....leaving the office)