guitarguy2567's Xanga

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 17:40:20 GMT

It's really funny the things you come across when looking at heritage or even your exact name. Look at what I found when I searched for my name.
http://www.offtherecord-showband.com/kyle.html
Kyle McBride
Vocals, Sax

Kyle, or The Pelvis as the band calls him, began channeling the sprit of Elvis Presley through his body in November of 1988. Since that time, he has tried to rid himself of the urge to eat jelly donuts (the Elvis that lives inside him can be a very powerful force). Only recently after multiple self beatings and meditations has he been able to master the Elvis inside. This allows Kyle to perform many different styles of music. He could not have reached this success without the support of the band.

Really??? I'm sure all the other Kyle McBrides are not incredibly proud of this little piece of trivia. I can sum that paragraph up as, "Kyle McBride... loves the women but can't get any, so he pretends to be a sex symbol when he actually is just a fat guy who eats tons of donuts and searches through porn channels for something he hasn't already seen." lol That's just sad...

Now it's not all bad though. http://ncbible.org/nwh/ProMcBrideJ.html There's a guy who was a Dr., a preacher, and a pioneer. As if that wasn't impressive enough he also....

"While living in the Islands, James McBride became acquainted with the Russian commander, Admiral Enquist. He was also stationed in Hawaii with a portion of the Russian fleet. It was the Admiral’s belief that the United States, and not Russia, should own Alaska. Dr. McBride wrote a number of letters to Secretary of State Seward urging him to purchase Alaska. He obtained from the Russians samples of gold and other valuable minerals as well as getting affidavits documenting the fishing and fur trades.

The efforts were well rewarded and the United States bought the land from Russia. It can be rightfully said that Dr. James McBride was the author of the Alaska purchase. When we travel to Hawaii or Alaska, our minds could think back to this winsome and convincing gospel preacher that had been so influenced by Barton Warren Stone."

So basically what I'm saying is.... Bethany.... you owe me your state basically. lol

What spawned this analyzation of genealogy? Just my favorite movie of all time.... Braveheart. It did it to me again. I cried. Twice actually... and I totally didn't think I would. I didn't/don't weep, but I couldn't help but have a few tears come from my eyes. It is what we as men aspire to be. A warrior, courageous, and passionate...
It seems to me that it was a bit easier back then. You could go to battle and fight for justice and freedom. As it stands now, everything is a bit more confusing and grey. What do you fight for and how do you actually fight for it? If I want to fight for something, I can't just go up to the person doing it and knock them out (although that would be nice). Now it is a long and arduous process, filed with political and social no no's to follow. It is this confusion along with the overall imasculination of men that has many of us in pause mode.
Fight for Pro Life.... yes... that's fantastic, but it's not a true battle anymore. You can speak out against something, but it seems very cyclical and defeating by nature. I've been to a ton of pro-life rallies growing up. They all start and end the same way. Someone has a speech about what has gone right in the process, but then someone later says we need more help.
It's hard not to have feelings of defeat after a certain point, but then again, I'm sure the abolitionist must have felt much the same way. As a man though, you just want to go to battle and fight. Maybe that's why basketball and other sports have so much appeal to me. I like to fight, to tussle, to conquer.
Maybe I should just go eat. lol

Life, a Park, and Kate...

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 04:18:59 GMT

It's been so long since I've been on here. I don't know how to change anything on here, and apparently all my background is jacked up.

So what's new, well... most of my life is pretty new. I've graduated from college with a psychology degree and a minor in MIS, I've been working for a mortgage company doing IT work for them a little over a year, I play basketball on Monday nights in a Korean basketball league, Tuesdays and Wednesdays will probably be workout nights at the Y since I've tried out a few classes and loved them, Thursdays I attend a citizens fire academy in Richardson (5 weeks left until I 'graduate'), Fridays are softball night, Saturdays have been up in the air except for the 4 nights to the symphony, and Sundays are church sometimes softball practice and now probably a park day. I have a "new" girlfriend (I put quotations on new because it will be a year in less than a month). Her name is Kate, and she just dyed her hair blonde and apparently cut it really short. lol I haven't seen it yet, but I'm totally pumped to see it. The only sad thing is that there will be no more pony tails..... aweeeeeeee... lol I've always been a sucker for those things, but one of the main reasons I like them is because I love faces. She has a very beautiful one, and I guess the short hair will be less hair to get in front of it. So I'm cool with that.

I've had so many things going that I don't really have time to think near as much as I used to. It's probably best for a personality like mine though. I've always been told that I think to much. Plus it's always really easy for me to think and never end up doing anything. Kate is pretty much the opposite. Not that she doesn't enjoy thinking, quite the contrary actually, she just loves doing so much that she rarely sits alone long enough to think. That's probably one of the things I love the most about her. She gets my butt off the couch (she does have great couches) and says, "Hey... lets go to the park." Me being my genial flagmatic self, quickly agree and off we go. At the park there are sooooo many adventures to be had. Well... at least that is my belief from the few times I have been to this magical park.

On our first adventure there we were walking along the winding sidewalk that surrounds the creature filled park. There were large amounts of families with their children frolicking about. Playing with each other on large slides, naping on green knolls and chasing ducks around the the stream which flows through the middle of the park. It was at this stream that we met two fluffy, yellow ducklings. They were all wiggly and cute. However, there was a rather large problem with these ducklings. There was no big mama duck to protect them, and to top it all off, their legs were very wobbly and under developed.

So how were these little ducklings to servive in this brutal, open elements world? Kate and I had a plan to rescue these ducks. It involved putting on ski masks, robbing a local jewelry store, and roasting that mama duck that left her two helpless babies. Ok... maybe not... but it did involve a mama duck though. We had spotted this mama duck and about 7 of her ducklings swimming around in the pond. What if we brought the two helpless ones over to them. Would she adopt them? We she take them and love them as her own? We scooped the fluffy yellow ducklings into our hands and moved quickly toward the mama duck. "Hissssssssss hissssssssssss....", the mama duck was not happy. She thought we were going to steal her babies. Placing them into the water close to the other ones seemed to work. They were following the other ones, and they weren't mad at the two new ducklings. Mission a success..... but wait. They are getting out of the water. Here's the true test. Would they still be friends... would they be able to get out on waddle with them? Flip roll... flip..."Splash...." As hard as they tried... the two yellow ducks kept flipping back into the water. Only one of them eventually stayed up... and the other one just sat there at the banks of stream. He had given up.

One more attempt remained in me to help save the ducks. I picked him up and placed him on the shore. Alas, he tried to walk but kept falling back in. Eventually a child picked the other, more stable duckling up and started to play with him. Both I and Kate expressed our concern over these ducks, but it was apparent that nothing could be done for them. We would have liked to keep them in Kate's bath tub, but soon came to the realization that we don't know the first thing about duck care.

We came back later that night but never found them. I think if we would have, then they would be floating in a bath tub right now. I feel sorry for them... but it's not all sad. We don't really know what happened to them, and who is to say that there real mother didn't come back and save them? I guess that's what I would like to believe.

Anyways... that was my first park experience at this park, and I think it was a good one. We got to try humanitarian efforts, walk around a large park on the sidewalk, and I also got to eventually play basketball.

We want to go back and bring friends to have a cook out, throw the frisbee, play volleyball, basketball, and who knows what else. The possiblities are endless... and so is my enthusiasm when it comes to the new activities I've been able to partake in. (they even tried to get me to become a fireman because I did the drills so quickly... including drag a 165 lb dummy around a bunch of coans)

So that's my life right now... wanna go to the park with me and Kate?

Usefulness....

Wed, 12 Sep 2007 02:39:34 GMT

Useful...

Cars, computers, stoves, paper, pens.... They are the things we use on a daily basis to help us in some way. What happens when something is no longer useful? Well... we stop using it. Maybe we leave it on a shelf and let dust accumulate on top of it. Maybe we throw it away... there are many different options of how we handle things that are no longer useful to use. The main thing is that we no longer use them. Something could have been used soooo many times, but it's just not the same as it used to be.
I have this computer. It's the one I'm typing on right now actually. It's been dropped and pounded on soooo many times. There are dents in the front, and at one time, the cd player would not eject cds from it. The screen is virtually unusable, and therefore I use the giant tv to get on the internet etc. My battery no longer charges a charge more than 5 minutes. However, I still use it. It's a very dilapidated computer, and I think most people would have thrown it away or waited for it to be repaired.
I see potential in this vastly damaged piece of machinery. It doesn't work the exact way I would like it to, but it is still useful to me.
Ever feel like you are like my computer? Your screen is broke, your battery doesn't quiet charge all the way, and sometimes things don't come out of you the way they are supposed to? I sure have, and I do particularly right now. My talents seem so dispersed as if they could not possibly be used in a coherent way. However, I know God sees me as still useful. Sometimes, just like my computer, some of the most useful and valuable things in life are damaged and seemingly useless.
I'm ready to be used by God more. I don't know how. Maybe it's with those Indian guys I played tennis with the other day. I spend far too much time being selfish, and far little time thinking about how I can show people God's love. That's what I feel like I'm good at. I can love people. Satan tries to take that away from me by telling me how much of a hassle it is to meet new people and to stay a part of their lives. it sure is a hassle. lol It honestly is. I want to serve when i have 'free' time, and when I'm not stressed out. God, could you make that happen? Oh... and I would like a raise so I could finally start tithing? Logical... no.... comfortable... definitely.
Nothing changes in life when it's comfortable. When you work out... it sucks. It hurts... so what... you deal with it. When you meet new people... it can be awkward... so what.... it's not always about you. Be comfortable being.... uncomfortable. I have to remind myself of that sometimes.
It is soooo easy to just live life selfishly. Do people remember who you are or admire your selfishness? I'm going to go out on a limb and say no. God's love.... it doesn't require payment.... reason.... or deserving.
Lord... show me ways to get out of my comfort zone... still take care of my responsibilities.... and be able to serve you to my utmost. Give me opportunities.... speak through me to others.... let me live the life I was created for. Amen...

hmm....

Sun, 26 Aug 2007 17:22:00 GMT

Wow... my head hurts right now. I can only think so hard for so long until... eventually... my brain just can't too much more.
I've began to get into programming recently. It's nothing to incredible, but it's been interesting to me. It started with scripting. It was just a way to be able to automate tasks that I do at my job. I have written a program that looks up the computers in our company's active directory. Since we share a domain/active directory with our parent company, I had to point my application directly to our specific OU. An OU is basically like a folder in windows. It holds a few different things in it such as users, computers, and groups. Anyways... my program looks up the computers in our OU/folder and will list them. In order to make sure the computers are on or even a current computer, my program will do something called pinging. It just sends the other computer a "message" and waits for a response back from it. Once the program verifies that the computer is still on or active then it updates the list. You can either run it in ping mode or non ping. After that you can choose the computer or computers that you want to copy a file to. So lets say you wanted to send 300 computers at your company a file that installs an update to a program they use. Well you could just copy the file to those computers using my program and put it in their startup folder. When the user logs off and back on, then the update will start automatically instead of the users needing to interact with you. It's very useful for us considering we have about 900 users. Who wants to go on every computer to install or uninstall applications??? Not me... lol and now I don't have to. We had a program that would do pretty much the same thing, but it clumped all the computers on the network together. You could potentially be putting things on the bank's (our parent company) computers. Then the bank fires whoever put that on their computers and maybe even our whole department considering they kinda want to take us over anyways. (not an exaggeration) So now we have a more functional program that can be used to effectively copy files. It also has a few other built in features like when it creates and writes a text file on your desktop telling you which computers it sent the file to and also an accurate progress bar.
I feel pretty good about the program, but I've been trying to figure out if I want to delve into other languages. When you start reading all these crazy complicated articles, it starts to mess with your head. Python seems pretty interesting due to the fact that you can run it on macs, windows, and linux/unix. You can also use with .net and in .asp pages. All this information is probably soooo much more than what you wanted to read about, and I've probably given you my pre-mentioned head ache, but that's my world right now. Computers....
With all this added computer knowledge... it has left me to internal preponderances. I.... will never be the best.... at anything. lol Sounds horrible doesn't it... but it's true. I am not the most intelligent person in the world... nor am I the most "whatever" at "whatever". However... I think I can adequately do... almost anything. I don't have giant deficiencies at much. I may get nervous and mess something up, but in reality... I don't really "suck" at much. I put quotations around suck because it's soooo relative. I am basically comparing myself to the world as a whole as opposed to people that actually program or do anything for a living. Because of my ability to do most things adequate... it gives me the opportunity to put the aspects of many things together in a logical order.
If that sounds confusing... well it was. lol Think about it.... most people that are brilliant at something can only do that one thing. Einstein couldn't have implemented his theories in applicable format. Nope.... somebody who understood what he was saying and understand the importance and applicability of it got rich. lol It's just what happens.... If you look at all these programmers.... they have to be tasked on what to create. Most of the time they will create things for fun or because they are "cool", but it takes someone else looking at it to make the real application. Just like fashion... those people create crazy designs and nobody really wears those designs... however... people use those designs to make something functional and then they get really rich. You don't hear their names uttered.... but in the end it doesn't really matter. Some of the most intelligent people that you may or may not recognize their names... are some of the poorest people. I'm not equated monetary success as the end all be all, but I am saying that money... by it's very nature... has value to it. Not just personal value... but value to be able to create opportunity for others and to help shape the minds of the next generations.
Ok... I need to go take a shower.... I think my head hurts more. lol

Small update...

Tue, 21 Aug 2007 00:30:58 GMT

I think I'm turning more and more into a nerd. lol I'm not really that disappointed by it though. It feels good to be able to "prove" my intelligence in the workplace. Whether it's writing successful wmi scripts or configuring a pix firewall, I have found so much more satisfaction in the validation of my intelligence through my job than I ever have felt through any pursuits in school. I guess in my job it is either right or it is wrong. It is much like math, except I get to see a visual interface over all that math that is going on in the background. We still have some ambiguity in computers, but hey, what's life without "unsolvable" problems? Boring... that's what it is.
I look at some of the guys who have scripted for years and years, and they are bored with it. I find myself enthralled by what all can be done with a single notepad and some ingenuity. Oh crap... I have to leave in five minutes for my Korean basketball league. Bet ya didn't know I'm now Korean did ya... lol

What does the word wife mean?

Wed, 16 May 2007 03:08:20 GMT

Gosh.... I can't handle it. I have to write about this. So I'm watching Dr. Phil... and he's talking about this couple's marriage. Apparently the wife was previously married to another man, and she is still in love with this guy. They got a divorce because she was basically trying to make him respond in some way by sending him papers. He sent the papers back signed and called her bluff. Well.... she "moves on" and gets married to this other guy. This new guy is awesome. He's really nice, and he's pretty much being taken advantage of in this whole situaiton. The ex husband comes back and says how he's made a mistake blah blah blah, and he wants her back. So now she "doesn't know what she wants".... PAH!!!! Have you ever thought about the fact that it's not always about what you feel like???? That's why you got out of the first marriage to begin with.

I just get so riled up when people are just straight up stupid. They have zero freakin commitment, and they just do what they think might be better. It's just so selfish. Once you're married, you don't have a choice about whether it... fits your goals or not.... if it feels the way you wanted it to.... you have to own up to the situation and figure out how to make it the best possible situation.

The fact that the woman on the show couldn't pick her husband immediately sends chills down my spine. A woman like that will leave you when you get fired from a job, will leave you when you decide to follow the Lord's calling and it takes you to uncomfortable places, is the type of woman who needs all her emotional needs met first before she can give anything to her husband. I'll take a toothless woman who has commitment over a beautiful woman who doesn't have spine. She'll take your money, you house, and your heart.... if you let her.

I just can't say enough about that situation. Why??? Well.... because women are/were one of the last dependible things left. Men... well... they've always been rotten apples in one way or another, but the fact that even the perception of women are changing bothers me. When a woman wants to play men.... wants to do things that only benefits her.... it just demeans the whole institution of womanhood. We talked about that at church the other night. The fact that men and women have different roles. Men's roles are not to play women, but we do have a rougher exterior. We aren't supposed to do most of the nurturing. Satan tries to twist the roles and make it to where women attempt to have the same "rights" as men. The right to hurt people??? When the heck did that become a right? At least with a guy I can knock him in the face, with a girl you just have to sit there and take it. It just bothers me to no end. That woman is taking advantage of an honest... good man. I saw him cry when he talks of a wife that won't choose him. How can your wife not choose you??? That kind of crap makes you want to quit life.

Making money...

Mon, 14 May 2007 02:59:18 GMT

I'm not sure what exactly I want to write about, but I definitely feel the "need" to write. There are so many thoughts that fade away throughout my day. I usually have at least 3 to 5 interesting thoughts during my day. Sometimes I have none at all, but if I'm alone, I'm usually thinking in some way. I get lonely rather easily, and my mind starts to wonder about the next steps in my life. Here lately I've been pondering the thought of money. I've always said that if I really wanted alot of it then I could get it. Not that I've ever known how I would do such a thing like that, but just that I feel that I could figure it out. I'm sort of scared to actually pursue it though. I've been thinking about it a lot, and I want many different things. They aren't outlandish things, but I still desire them rather strongly. I want a grill, I want to be able to go out and not think about money, I want school paid for, I want my credit cards paid off, I want a house.... I could go on... but I shall stop. lol The point is, I am gaining a stronger and stronger desire for money, and to some extent, it scares me. It makes me want to step away and take a look at it. I don't want money for bad things, but for some reason, I feel that I shouldn't have to try amazingly hard to get it. Sound like a fat burning pill or ab machine to you? Well... it's not. What I'm saying is that I don't think I should have to seek it with an amazing amount of effort. Work hard... heck yes... but there is a difference between working hard and constantly seeking wealth. I think God blesses people with it as a gift. It is a financial responsibility that God gives people to see what they will do with it.
Ok.... beer and pizza break and then I will come type some more.
That's pretty good stuff.... I'm so freakin funny though. It sounds like a frat boy, but I have spinach and feta pizza that I'm eating with a fork (it's hot pizza dang it) and a beer. When you hear beer and pizza you think of some jock, but it seems like I'm always both of everything. I love athletic stuff, but I'm not stereotypical jock. I work in IT, but I'm not a normal computer geek guy either. I really enjoy being the way I am, and being able to relate to all sorts of people.
Back on topic though.... Even though I believe God blesses certain people with the ability to make money and not others, I think I want to look into a few different alternative income sources. I think I want to go to a few of those "free conferences" things that I always see on tv, I think I want to sell a few things on ebay, and heck... I might even open up my own lemonade stand. lol Mainly... I think I have problems with being interested in things and never actually trying them. So I'm going to. Why not? It seems like we always let fear and inconvenience get in the way of certain things we want to do. What would I be doing otherwise? Watching a movie? Playing a game? Why not spend at least some of that time researching something I find interesting? It shall be interesting, informative, and broaden at least a little bit of my understanding of outside investing. So here's to beer and pizza.... oh.... and making money too. lol

Mother's Day

Sun, 13 May 2007 03:04:09 GMT

I love my mom..... so I decided to make her a shirt. Wanna see???

O-hi.......................o.

Thu, 03 May 2007 04:26:32 GMT

Ohio.... sure are some interesting text messages from Ohio.

Random stuff and not so random stuff....

Tue, 01 May 2007 03:38:08 GMT

As I sit here waiting for my less than desirable tub to fill.... bruised toes and back.... aching muscles.... I am truly happy. It's not what you'd expect me to say even though that is part of it. Yeah... I played basketball, and I did relatively well. No... that's not why I feel so good right now. For one of the first times in my life I feel capable. Capable of what..... well of almost anything. I don't pretend to be the smartest guy in the world, and I don't pretend to be the strongest guy, but I think God has given me alot more talents than any of those two things good afford me. What do I have you may ask. I have moderate almost everything. There are a few things that I am really good at though. I am good at loving people, and I'm good at helping them. Who doesn't want to be loved and helped??? I don't care how independent you may pretend to be, you want somebody to care about and for you eventually.
I was about to get into the elevator to leave from work when I saw a familiar face. It was our CEO's daughter. If you know me, I don't give special treatment to people that are "special". If you're rude.... then you will not get the best out of me. I will be cordial to you, but I'm not going to bend over backwards for you. However, she has always been really nice to me and smiled. I freakin love nice people. There are actually alot of nice people at work. Anyways... I was kinda small talking with her about her blackberry just being another way for people to drag you back to work. She laughed, and we said a few things back and forth. Then I remembered I had one of her tickets in my cue. So I asked her about the problem, and she said it was actually fixed. "Just making sure that everything was good on it." It was a nice exchange. Well then she tells me that Carrie (one of the people that we both work with on a relatively regular basis) really likes me. "Really?" 'Yeah... she said she has really appreciated you.' I smiled and said something like "awe that's sweet", and we parted ways. It feels so good to be appreciated. I work my butt off for nice people, and it's great when they notice it. I started thinking about the company as a whole at this point though. I actually know alot of people that are pretty high up in the company, and I really like them. I also think my bald head makes them remember me as well. lol Don't get me wrong... I great everyone with a smile and ask how they are doing in the hall, but I think the bald head makes then remember exactly who I am when I go fix one of their problems.
I really think I have the potential to move up in the company pretty high. I don't know that much about the mortgage business yet, but I will learn simply because I am interested in getting a mortgage in general. It just made me feel good today. I also fixed a few of my dad's problems as well today. He was having trouble with a few of the printers, and his tech guys couldn't figure out what was wrong. It was nice being able to solve the problem in 15 minutes. It wasn't exactly what he wanted, but it worked. I had to leave at that point so he was happy with it.
Ok... completely different subject. I was watching a movie the other day, and they said, "Try to bite through your skin. You can't can you. If you were able to then you would be crazy." So that got me thinking. I wonder if that's even remotely true. So I decided to try something similar. I didn't bite myself, but I used my fingernails. That worked just fine. So then I used a knife, and that worked as well. lol Now before you think I am absolutely insane. Have you ever had those whiteheads that are incredibly deep in your skin? Maybe... maybe not. Well I decided to try to get that out. So I used my knife with surgeon skills and cut piece of it out. I'm not sure if I got it all though. It was kind of bloody. lol I know... I'm goofy, but it really didn't hurt that bad. I wanted to go deeper, but I didn't want to scar my face too bad. It's just one of those psychological experiments. Maybe I should do my thesis on it. lol