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SubscriptionsSites I Read
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| I don't know what happened to my page! It got infected somehow by clouds and cows! This doesn't make me mad or sad though!
EDIT: The cows have unfortunately disappeared. :( In other news, New Jersey votes today to abolish the death penalty. Hoepfully this will be the spark igniting other states to follow. USA TODAY
The bill passed the Legislature largely along party lines, with controlling Democrats supporting the abolition and minority Republicans opposed. "It's simply a specious argument to say that, somehow, after six millennia of recorded history, the punishment no longer fits the crime," said Assemblyman Joseph Malone, R-Burlington. Republicans had sought to retain the death penalty for those who murder law enforcement officials, rape and murder children, and terrorists, but Democrats rejected that. "A thorough examination of the state's death penalty system has revealed it for what it truly is — a colossal public policy failure that wastes taxpayers' dollars and diverts valuable resources from proven crime prevention measures," said Larry Cox, executive director of Amnesty International USA. | | |
| I hung out with an old friend last night. I see him occasionally and its fun. We talked about the past and the wild times we had. Over the years, my views on things have grown much more liberal whereas his have stayed the same, more conservative. Anyways, our conversation headed into deeper waters and it seemed like a decent conversation. We had differing oppinions on many things. However, everytime I would say something, my friend seemed to think that I wanted help, as if I was deep;y struggling with these issues as opposed to having already accepting them. Thus, he would answer accordingly and try to lead me back. Whatever he thought, at the end of the conversation, he said, "I hope this answered some of your questions." I replied, "What questions? We were just talking." We were both stuck in our mindsets and either way, at the end of the night my friend probably went home thinking I was some lost soul and I went home thinking my friend was disillusioned.
I just want something real. Too much of what I've grown up believing and living wasn't. Give me some truth, something real(ity). | | |
| I think my life sucks! The realization of that is key!
EDIT: 4/20 Decemberists tonight YAY! the unsucky part of it all! | | |
| I guess I was thinking the other day out loud with a friend. Kind of went something like this: I've been feeling lost as of late and it's not because of the onset of LOST the tv show at our house lately. It has to do more with who I am as a person. I've been struggling so much with identity. I feel like I'm at this point in my life of uncertainty along the lines of what I should be doing. Half of me feels like I want to be young again and just do things without regard. This doesn't mean throwing out responsibility because I know I can't go back to those days, if they ever even really existed. The other half of me wants to be making a living with a family at my side. I think what it boils down to mostly is that I'm not exactly happy where I am, and I'm not so sure I want to change it. Although, I'm pretty sure I will, and it's just the act of doing it that is so hard. Wish me luck! The other out loud conversation with a friend went like this: I'm not so sure I am happy being a Christian right now. Sure, I believe in God, the holy trinity and all that stuff and I am actually enjoying attending church at the moment, but there is something that doesn't feel right about being a Christian at the moment. I explained myself to a friend and it was quite confusing and hopefully this is less confusing, but here it is. There is God, and he is working all the time, though much of it we don't see. What we do see is amazing, whether it's spiritual or physical. Mostly what we see is the physical if you believe in creation. So God created all this stuff and did all these things, and yet none of it was Christian or even in the name of God. True, God did these things for himself/herself but it was just an act of who he/she is. I began to think of the things I am doing, and even moreso, I began to think of what it means to be a Christian. It was all these rules and different things I was supposed to do and most of them were not me. I was feeling a total sense of displacement in the church and as a child of God. It was as if I couldn't be myself and be a Christian at the same time. I guess to conclude things a little, I decided I need to live as myself. This doesn't mean I am living for myself as a selfish man. What it does mean is that I am going to do things in a fashion that's my own. The hard part about this is that the church and many Christians can't accept this. This is exactly what is giving me that lost feeling, and it is not right. Even though I am doing things in my fashion (who I am), I am living in light of what God has done for me. My life is then a unique response to God and not some uniform Christian saga that we all know the ending to. I don't know if that makes sense at all. My friend seemed to say something that hit home, "God doesn't want Christians, he wants people!" | | |
| An Answer, Perhaps So I've been going to this new church lately. It seems pretty cool. The pastor is this really nice guy with tattoos down his arms. The music is good. All and all, its a very hip church with families and kids and all types of people. The feel is very modern. However, even with all that, their theology remains on the more conservative side. This has turned me off a little bit. It's interesting how the people that make up a church can be really cool and awesome and right on with a lot of things and how they can become a church. It's even more interesting that even though they can be the church and you could be a part of it, that you might not like a lot of the teaching that happens on Sunday. This brings up a question that needs to be asked: Is it worth going to a church if you fit in but don't agree with the teaching on a lot of points? I'm not sure. I would say that it is worth going. For one, you will never find a church that you agree with 100% of the time. On top of that, the teaching can then inspire conversation and be good discussion topics with the church. It will make you think and could actually grow the church. That seems to be a major purpose of Sunday church. Because yeah you want to learn but learning seems as though it should come more from a teacher (mentor) than a Sunday sermon. Sure you can learn from the sermon but to really learn comes from getting your hands dirty with the teacher. It means struggling in thought with teacher. It means learning hard lessons along with the easy ones. It means following him and doing as he does.
So yeah, church is great, but we can't forget to learn, to be taught. | | |
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