i didnt wanna end my xanga experience on a sad depressing note...... so here i go.......life is good.... im happy and comfortable with my present state.... i love my life and everything and everyone in it... and i cant believe it took me so long to realize this.... and i've finally accepted the things i cannot change... and be happy with wat i have... because this is wut God gave me... and there are so many people out there fighting a harder battle than me... and i have to be   grateful.. that i have my faith, family, and friends... to be by my side and to lift me up when im down... and im proud to know that i have people in my life like that... especially... ben and D and anna..... yeh me and ben are ok again.... i just gotta stay focused on my goals and ima be just fine... its all gunna pay off in the end... im strong, im independent, and sumway some how, im gunna make it in life.... i may not end up going to a big expensive university that my parents cannot afford to send me to, i may not drive a brand new car thats completely gorgeous, i may not go to a private school where its all about being preppy and perfect,  even tho i do not have a boyfriend, even tho i do not party on a regular basis and drink til i cant walk anymore just so i could feel like i fit in, and not everyone may like me, but thats ok... cuz im gunna do wut i do for myself, to get by and be successful,  so heres a lil sumthing that i found.. i gotta spread the love.........

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become.
You never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate,neighbor, professor, long lost friend, lover,or even a complete stranger), but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.
Sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.
Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.
The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones.
If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart.
If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.
Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and actually listen.
Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don`t believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you. You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.
Most importantly, if you love someone tell him or her, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store. And learn a lesson in life each day that you live! Today is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday. Was it worth it?

one more thing..... when God puts u thru life's struggles, remember that its only temporary and its going to make u stronger..... believe in miracles, sky is the limit, and never let anyone let u believe that u arent worth anything, cuz it isnt true, youre worth something and thats why God put you on this earth, dont spend time being angry at anyone, it isnt worth it in the end, believe in karma... cuz all tha bad shit u do... it'll come back and bite your ass... hard... dont waste time being fake, be yourself, and love yourself for who u are.. and... always smile.... even when ur sad..... screw wut people think... do wut u gotta do to get by.........  keep God in your life, and everything will be alright.....

 iight everyone.. im out... look out for me...

cuz im doing big things.....much love and

God Bless!