I'm moving on....

Look me up on my space.

Or ya know, call.

Like normal people used to.

Do you ever miss me....Ever long to kiss me?

I leave for Atlantic City on Friday and I am so freaking excited.  It's just about darn near ridiculous!

I leave Friday morning from Harrisburg, and should be in Jersey by around one o'clock-ish. 

Seeing Jesse is wonderful enough because I, of course, just love him to little old bitty pieces, but the icing on the cake is that we are going to see scads of other Thomas Morons, including my very favouritest Philadelphian Miss Mulhern!!

Good gravy I'm excited!

I'm redoing my bedroom, it looks really big now that the old wall paper and blinds are gone.  Today is the prime and prep period.  Hopefully by the end of July my room will be completely finished...ceiling to floor!

I'm excited.  You should be too. 

I've never been on a train before.  Well I have, for touristy type things.  But never on a trip where I end up someplace I wasn't before. 

I think I said all that in my last xanga entry, but I can't remember anymore, so I said it over again.  Oh well...

So today I was in my piece-o-crap car (which has no speakers so I am forced to amuse myself) and I started singing to myself.

I was singing two different songs...

The first one was a song entitled "I'm an Asshole" by Denis Leary.  Cracks me up.  Here are the lyrics if you're interested.

(Spoken)
Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the American dream.
About me, about you, about the way our American hearts beat way down
in the bottom of our chests. About that special feeling we get in the
cockles of our hearts, maybe below the cockles, maybe in the subcockle
area. Maybe in the liver. Maybe in the kidneys. Maybe even in the
colon, we don't know.

(Sung)
I'm just a regular Joe with a regular job.
I'm your average white suburbanite slob.
I like football and porno and books about war.
I got an average house with a nice hardwood floor.

My wife and my job, my kids and my car.
My feet on my table...and a cuban cigar.

But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like me interested
no way
No, I've gotta go out and have fun at someone else's expense
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

I drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane,
While people behind me are going insane.

I'm an asshole
I'm an asshole

I use public toilets and I piss on the seat,
I walk around in the summertime saying "How about this heat?"

I'm an asshole
I'm an asshole

Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces,
While handicapped people make handicapped faces.

I'm an asshole
I'm an asshole

Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song

Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong...

NAAAAH!

I'm an asshole
I'm an asshole

(Spoken)
Know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac El Dorado
Convertible, hot pink, with whaleskin hubcaps and all-leather cow
interior and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights... yeah! And I'm
gonna drive around in that baby at 115 miles per hour, getting 1 mile
per gallon, suckin' down quarter pound cheeseburgers from McDonald's
in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers and when
I'm done suckin' down those greaseball burgers I'm gonna wipe my mouth
on the American Flag and then I'm gonna toss the styrofoam containers
right out the side, and there ain't a goddamn thing anybody can
do about it. You know why? Because we got the bombs, that's why Two
words: Nuclear fuckin' weapons, OK? Russia, Germany, Romania, they
can have all the democracy they want...they can have a big democracy
cakewalk right through the middle of Tienamen Square and it won't make
a lick of difference, because we got the bombs, OK? John Wayne's not
dead, he's frozen! And as soon as we find a cure for cancer, we're
gonna thaw out the Duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You know
why? Have you ever taken a cold shower? Well, multiply that by 15
million times, that's how pissed off the Duke's gonna be.
I'm gonna get the Duke and John Casavetti and Lee Marvin

and Sam Peckinpaw

and a case of whisky

and drive to Texas...(HEY, HEY HEY!>

Why don't you shut up and sing the song, pal?

(Sung)
I'm an asshole
I'm an asshole
A S-S H-O L-E
Everybody, A S-S H-O L-E
Arf, Arf Arf, Arf Arf, Arf Arf
Thoomph A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom
Oooooooo

(Spoken)
I'm an asshole and I'm proud of it

I think it's rather amusing.

The second little ditty I sang was actually a song I made up on the fly.  The premise of the song, the title of the song, and the idea for the song are actually from the genius of Kate Monaghan.  My favourite Kentuckian.

The song is called I'm Fucking Retarded.

It's about whatever you want it to be about, because although we have a title, theme and idea, we never have actually written a song, although we hold the copyright just the same.

My personal rendition was about making so many mistakes and being blind-sided by reality and then not being able to recover or handle your life, which is, incidentally, spiraling uncontrollably into chaos.  Meanwhile everyone and his great Uncle Bart is asking ten million questions, and everyone wants to tell you what's good for you and how you feel and what you are, when in reality you're just fucking retarded, and that's how you feel.

It was quite an emotional piece if I may say so myself. 

Worthy of several awards.

Well now that I've spewed out my emotions onto this virtual paper, I think I'll go back to reading about God's love for man.

Maybe you should think about loving him back....

Man.

Currently Reading Mary: God's Yes to Man : Pope John Paul II Encyclical Letter : Mother of the Redeemer By Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger, Hans Urs von Balthasar see related

It will take a great deal of solitary strolls and wistful sighs to dispell the matter

Well....

I have decided June to be the very worst of months, piss off if you don't agree.

Thus far, July looks to be much better. 

Of course, I could become a mute amputee, and I think July would still be better. 

But this is why July is going to better.....

Pirates of the Carribean II comes out....I know it's silly, but I don't care.

I am going to go to New Jersey!!! I miss Jesse SOOO much!!

I am going to go to Massachusetts!! I miss Catherine and Timmy SOOO much!!

I am going to go to New Hampshire!! I miss Becca and Luke and Jeremy and Aaron SOOO much!!

I am going to go to Washington!! I miss Kate and Paul SOOO much!!

I am going to the Dentist, I really really love getting my teeth cleaned!

I am getting more shtuff pierced!! I haven't decided if I should pierce my nose yet or not, leave some feedback.

I suppose that's it.

OH, My room is being redecorated!!! Cranberry Red!!!  I love it!!!

June blew.

Fuck June...

Bring on July!!!

Currently Reading Breakfast of Champions By Kurt Vonnegut see related

Ballad for Broken Hearts

Just Look How Low I've Sunk, Don't Ask Me To Rise...I'll Lose You When I'm High.

Hopelessly, I'll Love You Endlessly, Hopelessly, I'll Give You every, But I Won't Give You Up, I won't Let You Down, AnD I won't Leave You Fallen, If the moment ever comes...

So I'm waiting for this task to end so these lighter days can soon begin I'll be alone but maybe more carefree like a kite that floats so effortlessly I was afraid to be alone now I'm scared thats how I'd like to be all these faces none the same how can there be so many personalities so many lifeless empty hands so many hearts and great demands and now my sorrows seem so far away until I'm taken by these bolts of pain but now I turn them off and tuck them away till these rainy days that make them stay and then I'll cry so hard to these sad songs and the words still ring once here now gone and they echo through my head every day and I don't think they'll ever go away just like thinking of your childhood home but we can't go back we're on our own but I'm about to give this one more shot and find it in myself I'll find it in myself so we're speeding towards that time of year to the day that marks that you're not here and I think I'll want to be alone so please understand if I don't answer the phone I'll just sit and stare at my deep blue walls until I can see nothing at all only particles some fast some slow all my eyes can see is all I know but I'm about to give this one more shot and find it in myself I'll find it in myself. 

And so it is just like you said it should be, we'll both forget the breeze, most of the time. And so it is.  The colder water, the blower's daughter, the pupil in denial.  I can't take my eyes off of you....I can't take my eyes off of you...Did I say that I love you?  Did I say that I wanted to be there all the time?  I can't take my mind off of you.. off of I can't take my mind you...I can't take my mind off of  you.

Now the windows closed.  Opportunities fled.  All that's left to do now is look back and shake our heads.  And it breaks my heart, and it makes me mad, cause I'll never know how so good went so bad. 

Girl Put Your Records On

\

Guess Who Misses These Gals Like Crazy....

It's Me.

Currently Listening Black Horse & the Cherry Tree By Kt Tunstall see related