I realized the two things that were missing from what could have been the coolest high school battle thingy ever. Dat and Colin. I should have known, it was doomed from the beginning. ^__^. Still fun as hell though.

 I was doing my daily "read Dat and Colin's xangas" thing and I realized after watching some videos I missed when they first got posted that if you can do it... comedy breaking is the only way to go. Unfortunately thats "if you can do it." Its all in thier flavor... too bad mine is only egg flavor. Eggs don't taste funny enough. Not fruity enough. OOOH... what about those cadbury eggs though... thats the best part of Easter... and the subsequent week when they are cheaper at the grocery stores. Anyway, I think its time my style gets uncovered a lil deeper. But its all in the number of notches on your belt. Notice style breakers are ONLY the ones who have years under em? Power is all the new kids on the block. And Koreans. What do you have for yourself when ur uhhh, somewhere in between?

Job hunting lately. Those jobs got some crazy camoflauge for me not to have found one yet. Too bad school needs payed for somehow, or else I'd just chill all summer, and break every day. Ill prolly still break every day =). I hate to think how many battles I'm gona miss though, starting off with Portland... I think it was this week, I forgot what day though. I miss Jane, but no car means its tough to go see her in MOSES LAKE. Im still scheming. I'll come up with something... maybe I should try to like... jump onto a semi while its going under a bridge on I-90 East, and then hold on till I get to exit 167. I saw a le parkour video in which some dude did that... or was that The Matrix? BOth? If it was both, then surely it must not be too difficult.

Living at Kris's is going okay... cept no job makes me feel like a mooch. He has a bowflex, been using that. I use it more than the rest of his family combined... and I only use it like 15 minutes a day =/. Why is it that people get excercise equipment and then quit using it when it starts to work? Hmmm.. in light of job searching not working so well, I have been playing Tales of Phantasia on a SNES emulator. I need a life. Or better yet, hit me up with job offers!!! I'll let my xanga do the work for me.

Been a few days since I posted, but it also seems that everyone who normally reads my xanga is gone anyway, so I guess its all good. Anyway, I'm going to tell all you casual "lets see what hakujin is bitchin about lately" readers about the greatest high school battle there ever was. It happened just the other day, on the 12th, at Thomas Jefferson High School. I advertised it, but nobody told me they were coming so whatever. It was supposed to be my crew (me, matt, kenny, and albert) against Young's crew (bunch of dudes whose names i duno, and Michelle Tomyn's little brother). But we were undermanned, cuz we had 4 and Young had like the cheerleading squad or something. So we asked if we could invite a friend or two to battle with us ^__^. This is where it gets sweet. So we called up Byron and we're like, "hey come battle with us, just go easy" and he's like, "yeah, i'll be there" and we're like, "invite anyone u want." So then the day of reckoning rolls around and we meet Byron up at Seatac mall to bring him back to my house for practice and we see that he has like 4 cars of people. HAHA! So you see now the tables have turned. Young's crew against me, matt, kenny, albert, and Misguided Steps. I don't actually know if all of them were from Misguided Steps, but hell, it don't matter. So to top this off, we get to the doors of the dance show thingy, and Young tells us his crew didn't show up!?!?!? He only has four guys. So we are like "wtf mates" and then he tries to tell us he can't get everyone in free. At this point some ppl got pissed-ed. So it turns out anyone who performs gets to come in free. SO WE ALL BATTLED. We split up everyone between our crew and theirs. So it was us (me, matt, kenny, albert) plus andy, moses (duno bout the spelling of that one), rick, and i wana kick myself cuz i forgot the other guy's name... but he was really tyte. Against Young's crew of four plus Byron, Quinton, and i am sure at least one other person, but right now I can't think of who it was... and then Hyun didn't wana battle. If I left anyone out, please forgive me!! Anyway, it was one of the best break sessions I think I have ever had the pleasure of being a part of, and Andy showed me some stuff, helped me work on a few moves so I been practicing those and yeah, overall good times. Oh, except my first set during the battle I butchered terribly, somebody should have shot me. It was just a leg threading air pose that I drop down, rethread a lil, then roll back to an elbow leg thread pose. I messed up on the first air thread... and threading looks like garbage if you mess up. So I did what any good breaker would do, I tried again. I got it the second time, but I was pissed cuz I did it like 15 times flawless right before the battle.. oh well tho. Should have just gone power to please the crowd... its all good though ^__^. Payce.

I hope a video of that battle ends up on bboyworld.com or something so that everyone can go "why the hell are all these guys battling at some little high school dance show battle thing?" And "why are those guys  battling with them sucking so badly, when these other guys are amazing?" And plus I'll have clips of ME on the internet... wow. And not like those hidden camera shower clips Matt made of me =P.

I knew I would miss her. But today is only the first day, and maybe that means the feeling is strongest now... but I really feel like my entire right side or something vital like that has just been severed, but I was on severe novacaine or something so there isnt really physical pain (yet) but I just don't feel whole. She is leaving back to Moses Lake early in the morning and I never got the chance I wanted to say "goodbye" and mean it. But to be honest when I really think about it... I never could have said it anyway. No matter how many "last chance's" I got to try, I wouldn't express the emotions the way I feel them. I am sad, and I would look sad, but then if she got sad, I'd smile and comfort her and in the end no matter what I know I would end up saying, "hey, dont worry! Its not that long, we'll see each other in just a few months, and I will still call you everyday, we'll be fine." I hate to see her sad. I returned my books today at school and made a good wad of pocket money, but when I think about it, that money is  nothing more than a tiny chip off of what I spent to get the books. Its like 25% of what I spent there, so you add the other 10% I can get back by returning receipts and you got 35% payback. That leaves a 65% profit for the University which tells me that even though I am sure these numbers are a gross oversimplification of the matter, they probably hold quite a nice deal on this book thing. Oh well. Kris and I went up to Edmonds too, since we were as he stated, "in the area." He has a friend girl up there who has been having some rough times so we went to console her, surprise her, that kind of fun stuff. I sat in the truck and dreamed about making Jane smile the way he was for this other girl. We bought strawberry banana milkshakes at McDonalds and sipped them in silence. We each had out memo paper. He was writing a note to the girl, because once we got there he decided to send her flowers instead of going to see her, so he was writing a cheer up message and I thought, "wow, what a good guy Kris is." I think I am lucky to be able to spend a summer around him because watching him makes me think about making Jane happy like 26 hours a day. She'd smile to know that ^__^. Then call me a dork, and then act like she doesn't care but she would still be smiling...

Lately I find my solace in thinking about things to do for her, which I am sure makes me sound like a loser to everyone else out there, but its all good. Job hunting is going less well than hoped, and if I don't find something quick in Renton, I might end up having to come back home because I don't want to intrude on their household unless I have a good reason. I don't feel at all like an intruder or anything, they are family basically, its more like I feel like my own family feels like I am abandoning them. Especially Josh... I miss him. I need to show that better. Life sure can get tough quick, but its a beautiful day the day you become dissillusioned. You might miss out on fun, you might feel jealous of those who "have it easy" but the truth is you have something they may never have. You have the satisfaction that comes with beating odds, with accomplishing things yourself. You get to say, "hey shut up at least I get by on my own. At least I am my own person rather than a doll my parents turn back and forth, shaping into what they want me to be." I know sometimes I feel like maybe I owe my parents, so they should help direct my life since they gave it to me. But the more I think about it, the more I feel that while I owe them respect and should thus consider their advice, they gave me my own life so that I could make my own decisions. I will stick around and be respectful to them, I will help them whenever it is not too far out of my way. But I also have to live my own life. I only hope I can make sure its never "out of my way" to help them..

Love.