So much is on my mind, I don’t know where to start though. To be honest with you, I really think we’re losing love.  Things don’t seem the same anymore. I really love you and want to be with you, and you know it, but this is not how…

I really miss the way we were.  I wish with all my heart that there was some way that we could go back to the days where your eyes looked at me as if I’m the most beautiful woman you had ever seen, when your heart felt lighter in my presence, when the thought of me kept you warm on a cold night.  I still feel this way about you…  I miss those times that you make me feel like you can’t ever live without me.  And whenever there are disturbing thoughts in my mind, you were always there just to listen to me, to keep me fighting, without making me feel that you just feel obligated that’s why you’re doing those.

I know that for a few months, we have our ups and downs, but yet through it all I still hold on… we still hold on—holding onto a dream that one day we will be happy together again, the way we were before.

I wish that there’s a way to make time stop and go back to the time when we’re happy.  I remember the times when we kissed and touch each other just for the pleasure of it.  Oh, how we loved to be next and close to each other, just cuddling and hugging each other.  Back then we couldn’t keep our hands off each other… on our way to here or there, me beside you, my head on your shoulder or chest.  How often we would text each other, tell each other sweet nothings, updating each other on what we’re doing… I remember everything… I miss you and the way we used to do.

You have given me so much in the beginning, made so many promise that you will never let me down.  You are always telling me that you hate or don’t want to let me down; see me get hurt, or you hurting me.  But if you did, why do you constantly letting it happen again and again?  What has gone wrong?

Know what?  I only feel close to you when we make love.  I see you as a stranger now… It seems like I don’t know you anymore.  Before you used to tell me everything and every thought, and express any feeling that you’re feeling at that moment.  We were not just lovers, we were the best of friends, you were my best friend and I was yours too but not anymore… I don’t know where our relationship stands.

Please don’t think that I just don’t understand you.  I DO… I do… But things are really different now.

I want you to know that YOU are the most important person in my life next to my kids…  No one has ever made me so happy the way you did.  I will cherish each moment that we had as long as I live. 

We both know that we’ve done our best to make our relationship last longer, but “things” happen and nothing’s left but for us to really say goodbye.  This goodbye would not mean forgetting our memories.  No… they are too special to forget.

Once and for all I’m just going to have to leave you alone.  I don’t want to do it but I want the things the way they used to be.  And it looks like it won’t happen.  I love you so much… but obviously your love is not strong as you say it is.

I guess I will always love you.  I will always miss that simple man within you, the sweet you, the affectionate you, the thoughtful you, the caring you, the honest you, which you used to be.  I will always miss the sweet words you used to whisper in my ears, your text messages even if sometimes they’re nonsense, your glances with special meanings that only the two of us know, the tight hugs that sometimes I couldn’t breathe, the sweet kisses on my lips, chin, cheeks, eyes, forehead, and nose, your gentle touch, your strong arms which is my favorite part of your body, your hand holding mine which brings me comfort, your sweet smile which brightens my day,  your natural scent that I love most when your perspiring, your breath which I can smell when I’m resting my head on your chest, your punch lines which I sometimes use to other people and it makes them laugh and wonder where did I get that.  Sigh!  I can name a thousand things that I would miss about you.

I know I will always turn around when I see the same jeep you used to drive, will stop, smile and think of you, and I will always look back to each places we’ve been. 

The time we spent was brief but I loved every minute of it and I will cherish them forever.

I can’t take care of you anymore, so please, take care of yourself.