he is finally coming this saturday

hope everything will work out

to those who have the subscription of my diary, i'm sorry i havent written anything for such a long time. but it is very likely that i will write very little in the future. i dont really know why. perhaps it's because as you grow older you want to keep more things to yourself and explain less to people. besides, i have changed so much sometimes there are things that are hard to explain. and i prefer people not to know stuff about me than to misunderstand me.

i have also been terribly occupied by a lot of stuff, esp to do with singing, so i dont have time to even write my own diary anymore. but i guess it's ok.

anyway, now i am doing good and i'm waiting for something to happen.

to smvc:

sorry about hearing you guys lose the other day. just dont take it too hard because you still have the chinese class to go. i was there the other day listening to you guys' rehearsal, and i thought basically it was quite good. however one thing striked me very much -- you guys were so nervous when you were singing! the high registers were esp uncertain. i firmly believe you guys have the ability to be more showy. and instead of holding back you should really put forward what you have got. although this is only like a choir competition and what individual members do are not that noticeable, once a choir is put on the stage you can immediately see how they feel at that moment. what i am saying is that if you are holding back and nervous and worried it will all show, and the impression given to the audience will be really bad. for st paulians, i think you almost need to be arrogant on stage, and keep your cool. believe it or not, that's also an area i am trying to improve myself in. and i hope everybody is feeling as desperate to be showy as i do (and it doesnt matter whether you sing well or badly), because it is really fun!!!!!

i'm coming to watch you guys on tuesday. i dont really care how well or how shittily you sing, because i will like it anyway. but i also hope to see some smiling and easy faces because you should always feel excited and looking forward to a competition.

and REMEMBER, you need to be HYPER-EXPRESSIVE for chinese songs. so dont hold back and try to make as much dynamic contrasts as you can. 

show time! good luck to you all! i'm very sure you will do well.

so bored

i know i shouldnt complain because i am already in the chorus

but this is a very hollow christmas. i need a lot of things to fill it up

i want to have a packed schedule so that i would be busy working every single day. and get the fucking stupid things out of my head. and help me get rid of my addiction

so that i'm planting my own garden instead of waiting for someone to bring me flowers, esp when the flower guy is an insensitive bonehead

i hate insensitive boneheads.....

but this time i dont need anyone to help me get out of it because i am strong enough to handle it all by myself, and i dont need an asshole to prove that i am no shit

but really, life is getting so boring now

I NEED EXCITEMENT too. i dont care if i have 10 exams a day. or if i have to physically exhaust myself till i die. as long as it is interesting and exciting, i'll go for anything. i cannot live without excitement, because it gives me incentive and make me focus

i need higher goals.....IMPOSSIBLE goals....

¯u¯º¸Ü

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the burning deformed man fishes the heaven. the squirrel is getting out of the box, and the man in the wheelchair goes from zero to sixty faster than a snail.

omg.......

yyyyyyyyyyyyy?

you know what, fuck it

i wont ever let anything bring down my mood for more than a day anymore

because nothing is worth it

because you are all egotists who are living for your own sake, and it wont hurt if i just do the same

besides, POSITIVE egotism never hurts