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Monday, July 14, 2008

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    Catholic Classics 1
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    Miracle Boy -- What's in a Name?

    The Presentation in the Temple (the Fourth Joyful Mystery) leads us to think about the Holy Family fulfilling the Law of Moses in introducing their Child to their religious community:

    On the eighth day of a child’s life, the Jews celebrate bestowing a carefully chosen name on the child.  Joseph gives this Child the Name, Jesus, as the angel instructed him in a dream.  

    Forty days after a boy is born, the parents bring him to the temple, present him to the Lord, and redeem him by an offering – a picture of our infant baptism.  When the Holy Family proceeds to fulfill this law, as many poor people do they present two turtle doves.

    They are greeted by two elderly people who offer confirmation of the mission of this Child.  One goes so far as to declare that the Boy’s mission will lead to deep sorrow for His mother.

    The details of this story can be found in the middle section of the second chapter of Gospel of Luke.

    As I think about Joseph bestowing the Name on his foster son, I remember how many times people questioned us about Arif’s name. 

    I need to take a few steps back before answering.

    Arif’s father and grandfather share the name ‘Richard Joseph Marshall.’ Grandpa goes by ‘Dick.’   Papa is called by his middle name: ‘Joe.’  The story goes that at some point, his parents gave their son the choice to be called ‘Dickie’ or ‘Joey,’ and he chose the latter.

    As is often the case, we wanted our first born son to be named after his father.  So that left us with the choice of putting a numeral after his name (III) or being more creative.

    On the one hand, a numeral after a man’s name bears a sense of nobility.  It gives a sense of a family legacy of success and elegance.

    My oldest brother (may he rest in peace) carried the numeral III.  It seems he bore it as a badge of the darker aspects of his heritage.  Both Edward Radke I and II had background stories that would make you cry.  Ed seemed to pick up not their strengths, but their weaknesses.  He was often teased by being given the nickname ‘Da Turd.’

    I had no intention of allowing my son even the possibility of being subjected to this sort of treatment.  After all, his very existence was a miracle.

    I grew up Catholic, and have always had a special place in my heart for St. Joseph.  My godfather is named Joe as is another favorite uncle. 

    As Rachel from Genesis, I felt I was given a gift, ending my infertility.  Granted, it came with much less pain and anguish than she experienced.

    Our son would add to our joy.  So we would keep the name Joseph.

    Joe, on the other hand, traveled far and wide in his spiritual journey: He was baptized in a Methodist church.  In Junior High School, he experienced being ‘born again’ with his Baptist friends.  The Lutheran church confirmed him.

    Joe’s first love is music.  It is the highest form of worship he encountered.  So, in college, he joined a Sufi community.  Their worship centers around music from a variety of musical traditions and borrows from all religions.

    In the Sufi community, Joe was given the name ‘Arif.’  He was told that the name means: ‘the one who understands the deeper side of life.’  We have since confirmed that meaning with people from an Arabic background.  We also found that it refers to a military leader.  One man told us that an arif is the one a teacher chooses to lead and supervise his classmates.

    Wow! That is a lot to fit into four letters!  We liked the way it sounded.

    When we met, half of his friends called him Joe, and the other half called him Arif.  So we decided too keep both names – Joseph and Arif.  The next question would be what order they would take.  He would be called Arif either way.

    Once the baby was born, Joe announced to his co-workers that he had a son.  The name he announced was ‘Joseph Arif Marshall.’  So that is the name listed on all his official documents.  He is called by his middle name and often signs ‘J. Arif Marshall.’  There is an air of nobility about using a first initial.

    So he was Christened with a name which means: ‘the one who adds understanding to the deeper side of life.’  Joe often remarked that we are a lot smarter since he came along.  Additionally, since his first name comes from the Hebrew, and his middle from Arabic, perhaps he is destined to be a peace maker.

    Because of the diagnosis of endometriosis, and the doctor’s prognosis, Joe and I vowed our children dedicated to God’s service,

    When he was four weeks old, we brought him to be baptized.  It was also our first anniversary, so we also renewed our marriage vows.

    As the children grew, we practiced an active prayer life.  Each day we gathered to pray the Rosary.  We took our time, telling the stories between the prayers and relating them to our daily life.  They never seemed to notice – or care – how long it took.

    I prayed that all those who encountered Arif throughout whatever happened would be drawn closer to God – that he would add to their understanding of deeper faith.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

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    God Will Make a Way: The Best of Don Moen
    By Don Moen
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    Updates

    I have revised some of the passages on my prayer meditations in the car on the way to the hospital.  Watch for the next installment coming soon....
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    25 Mozart Favorites
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    Index

    Make sure to scroll down for my latest post:  it may be related to the book -- or not.  This note is for newbies so they can read the posts in order.    You will find it useful, also to see teh latest versions of each chapter.

    *********************************************

    I am posting excerpts from the manuscript of a book I am writing about my son's car accident -- six years ago -- and its aftermath.  It is a labor of love, but also a very emotional venture. My entries may be sporadic.  I appreciate your prayers, feedback, and encouragement. 

    For those who have not been along on this journey from the start:  You want to go back in the archives
    and read from the beginning.

    Song: Miracle Boy

    Chapter One -- Into the Tunnel
    Part 1  --  Eclipse
    Part 2  --  Preparation

    Chapter Two -- Getting There
    Part 1  --  Is This Car Moving?
    Part 2 -- The Great Physician
    Part 3 -- Care for Everyone
    Part 4 -- Birth Memories
    Part 5 -- What's in a Name?
    Part 6 -- Wisdom Beyond His Years
    Part 7 -- A Message

    Chapter Three -- Finding Out
    Part 1  --  Extent of the Damage
    Part 2  --  Our New Home
    Part 3  --  Last box of Toothpicks
    Part 4  --  Dispatch Scramble
    Part 5  --  Jigsaw Puzzle

    Chapter Four -- Weekend of Waiting
    Part 1  --  Good News and Bad News
    Part 2  --  Blanket of Prayer
    Part 3  --  Spike!
    Part 4  --  Hospitality

    Chapter Five -- A Little Hope?
    Part 1  --  Numbers and More Numbers
    Part 2  --  Sacrifice of Praise

    *********************************************
    We invite you to pray with us for Arif's healing.

    *********************************************
    I also entered a contest with this video.

    After talking with Steve, I fiddled with the video some.  This is the result.  Which do you like better?

    Update: I did not win anything in the contest, but it gave me the experience with the video editor.  Pretty neat stuff -- maybe I will do some more with it.
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    Miracle Boy -- Birth Memories

    Third, we joyfully meditate on Jesus’ birth – the Nativity:  Because of a ruling from the government, each family is required to return to their ancestral home for a census.  Since Joseph (and we presume Mary as well) trace lineage to King David as an ancestor, they travel to the village of Bethlehem, where the great king was born.

    The Holy Family’s journey to Bethlehem comes about at the very time when Jesus iss due to be born.  The crowds and their poverty result in Mary and Joseph finding lodging only in a stable – in a cave with animals all around.  The Holy Child’s first bed is made of the hay meant for the animals to eat. 

    Although most people around pay little heed to His birth, those we would least expect come to honor Him: shepherds from the surrounding fields, and some mysterious visitors from eastern lands. 

    In the end, however, the Family is forced to flee to Egypt because King Herod wants Him dead. 

    Both St. Matthew and St. Luke weave the story of Jesus’ birth.

    As I meditated on the birth of God’s son, I found myself thinking about our own eldest son’s arrival in the world.

    Since I recently healed from the ravages of endometriosis, my health was at its best when I became pregnant.  Further, our diet was still top notch.  I sailed through my first pregnancy with very little difficulty beyond those which come from the drastic changes in the structure of a body over such a short time.

    We knew we wanted our birth experience to be as natural as possible, given my hyper sensitivity to various chemicals.  Our new baby deserved the best start we could offer, too. 

    I was delighted to find a doctor within walking distance of our apartment.  The group he belonged to had a birthing room, which offered promise of minimal medical intervention, but proximity to medical facilities -- in case of an emergency.

    Full of optimism, I strolled to the doctor’s office for my first prenatal visit. 

    First, the necessary tests confirmed the pregnancy. 

    The doctor’s examination was a bit disappointing, as he barely spoke to me, dictating notes to the attending nurse.  Some of his observations seemed irrelevant.

    His only direct interaction with me was to ask: “Any nausea or morning sickness?”

    I responded that I felt wonderful.  The only nausea I had occurred one day when we headed out to a retreat in Alabama right after work, without stopping for a meal.  By the time the two hour drive was over, my stomach hit serious rebellion.  Of course, it settled down quickly once we ate our dinner.

    “Well,” the doctor replied, barely acknowledging my response. “Here’s a prescription for Bendectin, just in case.  There is no reason to be uncomfortable if you don’t have to.”

    The following day, the New Orleans Time-Picayune posted an article that Bendectin was under investigation due to its association with birth defects and neurological problems.  Needless to say, I never filled the prescription.

    Three weeks later, when I was preparing for my next appointment, I got a call informing me that this doctor was no longer with the practice and that I would have to go to their other office in Covington, a 45 minute drive from my home.  Later, I found out that my doctor was dismissed for reasons related to alcoholism.

    We decided we needed to investigate the whole range of birth alternatives.  After a good deal of research into the range of options, home birth emerged as our favorite choice.

    That was when we met Dee Ann Dominick, nurse-midwife. 

    Every three weeks, we spent what seemed like hours waiting to see the doctor, only to spend five minutes in the exam room. 

    One week, the doctor looked at my chart, found I had gained four pounds (never mind that I had lost five previous to the last visit) and declared that I was gaining too much weight.  He advised me to go on a diet.  End of exam.

    On the other hand, our three week check ups with Dee Ann were filled with information and fellowship.  We discussed the biology of pregnancy, nutritional issues, the ins and outs of herbs, family relationships, and on and on.

    When I related the ‘weight’ incident to her, she picked up my boney left arm and declared that the man didn’t even look at me.  We all had a good laugh. 

    She delivered our second child, Honnah, as well.

    We became fast friends with Dee Ann and her family.  Later, Dee Ann took one of my herb classes.  Now, that class is listed on her vitae.   She became an integral part of our family for the next three years, until we moved to Virginia.

    My mother was so excited about the birth of her third grand-baby.  She was not sure about this home birth stuff, so scheduled to arrive after the baby was born to help out (and, she declared, to make sure this one got spoiled right from the start). 

    Arif was due June first in 1983.  It seemed like he waited for his grandmother to arrive.  We went into labor ten minutes after she walked in the door – at ten o’clock on Sunday night, the sixth.  The labor progressed uneventfully.  I actually slept between contractions through the night, waking to breath through the working phases, then drifting back into a dream-filled haze.  In the morning, however, things really picked up.  Arif made his entrance to this world right before lunch. 

    We had all five of our children at home – not in a stable in some far away city.  Each midwife declared ours to be one of the easiest births she attended.  Each time, the children were able to attend as much of the birth experience as they found comfortable.  Mostly, they got bored and wandered off until after Baby was born and ready to be passed around.  We felt the atmosphere of family unity surrounding each sibling’s birth helped to forge strong bonds between them.

    I prayed thta God would keep those bonds intact as we faced whatever was ahead.
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    Miracle Boy -- Care for Everyone

    The second joyful event for our meditation is called the Visitation:  Since the Angel Gabriel tells Mary that her relative, Elizabeth, is to have her first baby in her old age, Mary quickly travels to help the elderly woman.  It is a clear picture of Mary’s humility and confirmation of her nature as God’s servant.  Surely, the angels’ message about Elizabeth was not only a way to confirm that his words were true, but a coaxing to provide an extra pair of hands in what must have been an exhausting time.

    I imagine the rigors of traveling, on short notice, for a week or so when the Woman is first pregnant.  Early pregnancy does take a toll on the body, even if a woman is healthy.  I am sure the Blessed Mother maintained optimum health, as she undoubtedly follower the dietary laws prescribed in the Pentateuch.

    Elizabeth – and her son at six months in utero – recognizes the newly conceived Savior.  I always marvel here, about the interaction between the two unborn babies.  Surely, life is precious from its first moments after conception until natural death.

    Mary sings a song of joy about God’s favor shown to those we would least expect.  God’s ways are surely not our ways.  He always honors His promises, in His own perfect time.

    The two women revel in their friendship and kinship for the next three months.  The care that Mary undoubtedly gives to Elizabeth is freely given in love and joy. 

    You can find this story in the first chapter of St. Luke’s Gospel.

    Throughout his life, Arif never knew a stranger.  Always ready with a smile, he showered care and conversation on whomever he met.  Everyone who knew him felt that he was their best friend.  He was so full of life and love – so full of dreams and schemes and always ready to lend a helping hand, or an ear, to anyone in need.

    Over the past few months, Arif struggled with thoughts that others might think he had a superior attitude.  He did not want them to think he felt he was smarter, stronger, or holier than anyone else.  It caused him some deep agony.  It was important to him that he be viewed as an equal by each person he encountered.

    Arif’s spirituality was also very alive. 

    In the fall when he was 3 years old, my sister, Tina, called me in tears:  She was pregnant with her first child.  Her AFP test came back positive.  The doctor told her she was going to have a child with spina bifida.  She would have to go to Ft. Knox for further testing.  Her concern that the testing might put the child in danger of miscarriage.  Her doctor assured her that it was the least of her worries as she had a monster in there.  He must have missed the class on bedside manner.

    I assured her of our prayers.  The test does not tell how much damage there may be.  Spina bifida may present at a variety of levels.  Tina, herself, has vertebrae missing at her tail bone.  I also explained that the AFP test has a high rate of false positives.  I stayed on the phone until she was more calm.  With further assurance that we would pray for her and her baby, I hung up the phone.

    As soon as I hung up, I called Arif from the other room.  We spent a few minutes in prayer.  Then I asked Arif for his reaction.  He looked at me with shining eyes, explaining that when he had his eyes closed during the prayer, he saw a beautiful little girl with golden hair.  He described her singing and dancing.  She was happy and healthy.

    A few days later, Tina called back saying that she was informed that the lab put the decimal in the wrong place.   Her test was negative.  We felt that God moved that decimal point for her.

    The next May, Tina gave birth to a beautiful baby girl with golden hair.  Heather loved music.  She had a beautiful singing voice and loved to dance.

    My mother (who was also named Elizabeth) lived with Congestive Heart Disease for five years.  Although she had only eight percent of her heart function, she lived an active life: keeping up with her six grown offspring, running the family business and working in her garden. 

    From time to time, however, she hit a crisis point.  Several times each year, we traveled from Louisiana to Florida to help take care of my mother when she was so sick.  Arif always found a way to bring a smile to her face.  He told jokes, did magic tricks, made origami creations, or got his sister and brothers together to do skits or puppet shows.

    Mom died when Arif was 8 years old.  When she was in ICU during her last few weeks, We faced issues about the appropriate use of life support.

    I prayed we would not need to make any hard decisions about life support for Arif.  These issues were also raised before my grandfather died during my freshman year at college.

    How I wished Mom could be here to help and comfort us, now.  I knew that she would be Johnny-on-the-spot to hop in her car and run right out to Missouri to take care of kiddos or whatever needs we might have while Arif was in the hospital.  Who knows, she might even pitch in and milk goats. 

    Yet, I drew some comfort as I realized that she knew of the predicament and offered her prayers for us from her heavenly home.

HeartofHome

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    • Name: Maryann
    • Country: United States
    • State: Georgia
    • Birthday: 7/15/1955
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    • Member Since: 4/1/2006
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  • I am writing a book about my eldest son who survived a car accident with a serious brain injury.

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