Currently Listening Back to Bedlam By James Blunt see related

Alright, so basically here's how it goes...

Well my bro-in-law and his friend are heading out to Colorado to ski for a week in the beginning of Feburary. I can go! But I have to take somebody. If you would like to go to Colorado a week with me, let me know like ASAP. Seriously, I don't care if I barely know you, I want to go with like all of my life. And I believe my family could pay for the plane tickets, both of ours, because my bro-in-law and friend aren't charging us for the condo we are staying in. So, if you want to go, or know anybody who would like to go. Let me know. The only bad thing is that we are missing a week of school. So please, let me know! Thanks, haha.

Alright, well that's my dilema, and basically I'm going to cry for days if I don't get to go. Well, I wouldn't actually, just be extremely annoyed at the whole situation of being so close yet so far away.

Well, Christmas was unusual this year. Not quiet sure it was all that great. But, whatever, my family basically likes to over dramatize everything, especially around the holidays, when we should attempt to all get along and act like we love each other. But, I mean whatever happens happens. I got a lil dandy navigational system for my car. My parents have no faith in me when it comes to getting places. That sort of makes sence considering I've gotten lost going to the Fairfield mall. It's okay though. But now I can never break curfew because I have no excuse to say, "Ohh, but I was lost." Darn. Haha whatever.

Well much love to everyone. I hope that everyone had an at least decent Christmas, and hopefully low drama. And, about the Colorado thing, seriously, let me know, that would be fabulous.

Currently Listening Everything You Want By Vertical Horizon see related

So I basically have the most amazing friends on the planet I've decided <33

We're better together*

Standing here, Looking up at the sky. The starts and all their brillance, Leave my disappointments behind. All my problems seem so small, My fears begin to vanish. The lonliness disappears, And happiness returns. I am only one person. Many others do the same, Getting caught up in nature, Can take your breathe away*

Would I be out of place if I said that I missed you?

--I lean against the wind, Pretend that I am weightless. And in this moment, I am happy, happy--

So I've decided, sometimes the people who you think have it all, are the people who have the least. Sure they make "look" all perfect and flawless on the outside, but you don't know what's going on at home, what battles they are fighting against themselves. You know nothing. So you can't really judge people unless you really know them. I'm trying to think of a New Year's resolution, this  year I want it to be something, bold and brilliant, that I can actually acheive.

Things I'm going to do before I die:

1) Fall in love

2) Run a complete marathon

3) Be somebody's hero

4) Do some type of backpacking in Europe

5) Sky Dive

           .....more to come....

Currently Listening Greatest Hits: My Prerogative By Britney Spears My Prerogative see related

Vacation makes me hate Ohio a million times more than I already do...

But that's okay.

I had a marvelous vacation with the lovely Kelly Postel, vacation really helps you get your mind off of everything and have a good time. We had a few fall backs, and did some dumb things, in front of my mother.... lol but it's all good in the end. I wanna go back. And I've officially decided that no longer am I going to go to University of Tennessee, I'm going to find a school in Flordia and go there, becaues I could be tan all year and that would be spectacular! But I do get to go back to Flordia this summer to spend a week with my grandmother, yes I'm that sweet. haha but no I like her she's sweet. Going back to school tomorrow is going to suck, pretty badly. But, only 3 more weeks until winter break, and that is rather amazing.

What I want is a date...

Let me explain...

I don't want to make the first move for once. I just want to go out on a date, not necessarily "go out" with the person, but just have the whole evening planed out for me, and just be asked out on a simple date. I want to feel cared about and special. But, I doubt that will happen, but it would just be extrodinary if it did.

Currently Listening Where You Want To Be By Taking Back Sunday see related

My heart is officially broken :-\
Maybe that's an understatement,
S h a t t e r e d is more like it.

Sometimes plans backfire... haha yea it's pretty cool. I just need to get over my past, but I really don't want to. I want to hold on. I want to stay. Stay, with you, us, together. But, life sucks, then you die. I need to escape. Just go, drive, get lost, not come home.  Do you ever have days that you just want to run away and never come back? I never want to deal with my past. It just needs to disappear. I need a clean slate, I want to start over, and be "the new girl." Nothing seems like it's in grasp anymore. The person I once was no longer exists. I now look at the negatives of everything, I fight with my mother like it's my job, and I don't even care about school anymore. I once was this perfect Christian girl, who got straight A's, was good at sports, didn't party, never lied to my parents, but now, I can't say the same. I've gone through so many transitions this year, and I don't know if I like it. Right now the only thing holding me together is my friends. I have the most amazing friends. Three of them, and without them I would die, literally. They hold me together, they are my concrete.  Without their support the past week, I don't even know how I would be right now, probably in bed, not eating, hating life and everything. But they push me and keep me strong.  What also is sad, is my problems are probably so lesser than so many other people, but they are soo much stronger than me. I wish I could hide everything, be strong. I want to be strong. But I'm not, I'm weak, and pathetic, and extremely emotional. When something goes wrong I find it near impossible to hold it in. I envy all those really strong people who's lives are so much harder than mine, but still some how find a way to have a smile on their face. They are amazing.

How can you ask for me to stay, when all you ever do is go...

Just Go.