Wow... March was my last entry.  Crazy.

I was listening to NPR a few months ago and they did a bit on how some companies today search myspace and blog sites such as XANGA to do "research" on their prospective employees.  Makes you want to think twice about what kind of verbal vomit you throw up onto these web pages huh?  You're completely exposing your personal life, preferences, morals, and ethics onto a free webpage which any one person in the world with an internet connection can view!!  Oh my.  Look at what the information age has created.  Are we even still in the information age???  I feel like we've evolved past that and we're transitioning into the next era of God only knows what. 

Well, there you go.  That's my rant for the next six months. 

ciao!

(yeah, that's my hubby)

(yeah, i know you're getting hot flashes)

(yeah, i know you're jealous cause i come home to that every day)

Currently Reading Corum : Knight of the Swords', 'Queen of the Swords', 'King of the Swords By Michael Moorcock see related

Just got back from the city.  I had a great dinner with some of the girls I used to work with at David's office.  Hanging out with them makes me miss the city so much.  Lately I've been thinking of how I've turned into a country girl, wanting fresh air and wide open spaces, living without the noise and stress of city life but I think no matter what I'll always be a city girl.  I just don't know if I'm willing to go through the struggle of making it in nyc when I can sit back and relax... perhaps enjoy life in a small town in northern connecticut.  I suppose what's reeling me in to the thought of staying here or working in the city is modern architecture.  I don't want to get stuck at a firm copying and pasting one vinyl-sided house design for massive housing developments.  What it really comes down to is that I want to start at a firm that designs and not just constructs.  I think I'm just going round in circles now. 

Anyway, hanging with the ladies made me feel better about me in general.  I was telling them that I will probably end up in CT because Jesse and I would like to save money for the future and possibly move out to Texas.  Just like everyone else.. Jersey side or Connecticut and in this case New York, they proposed that I should move to their area.  Brooklyn or LIC.  hehe  Flattering and well, I WOULD LOVE TO, but the fact of the matter is with living costs in mind, CT definitely wins.  I mentioned that Jesse and I could rent a 1BR with utilities included for about 680 a month and they just laughed.  Obviously, a one bedroom in the city is about double that amount.  Anyway, I feel torn.  I don't know why.  I shouldn't because it's not like we are settling there forever.  Maybe I'm afraid of growing roots.  But then again that's not the issue is it?

Actually, I think I've lost myself.  I'm over-analyzing as usual.  Bottom line is... I'll miss urban life and I wish I could find a city that caters to both my city and country lifestyles.  PERIOD.  Stop friggin over-analyzing shit or else you'll just end up on xanga at 12 midnight rambling about issues that are miniscule in the grander scheme of things! 

I need a hug.         

Currently Listening The Mouse and the Mask By Danger Doom Sofa King see related

I came home with my wedidng dress on Monday.  HEHEEEE  Oh joy!!!  Fits like a glove.  Just need to have it altered a bit because I'm so friggin short.  Ohhhh soooo purddyyyyy.

Currently Listening Tales and Songs from Weddings and Funerals By Goran Bregovic see related

They have titles now???

So it's almost 3:30 in the morning and I can't seem to keep my mind from running 90 miles per hour.  The hubby is fast asleep and I should have been in bed about 3 hours ago, but yet I'm here three hours later writing in this God forsaken thing which by the way I missed so much during my time in Italy.

I find myself reminiscing an awful lot these days.  I miss the life I had in Italy and as sad as this may sound I believe I'll always look back on those memories and wish I could feel the same way once more.  Gosh, well, it was everything.  Truly it was.  It was the people, the food, the language, the rhythm of the city, the sunsets, oh gosh.. and the espresso.  Oddly enough I don't drink coffee anymore.  It's just not the same.  I'd give anything to have an espresso macchiato done right in America.  It was so bittersweet, you know.  You struggle for six months to learn a language and accustom yourself to the differences in culture and just when you're comfortable, you have to revert.  It's confusing the shit out of me right now.  I just realized it.  When I was there all I could think about was... well in the States we do this.. or we say this... or man the Italians are weird.  Now all of a sudden it's the opposite. 

I miss walking.  I walked all over the place in Firenze.  Buses took longer than walking because of traffic and the city is so small that it just didn't make sense.  I miss the "bar."  The cafes.  I miss the espresso breaks Enrico and Simona and I used to take together.  I miss their laughter.  Their stories.  My questioning them to learn more about definitions of words, what italians really think, or how to cook a certain dish.  I miss my ladies.  For once in my life I had a group of girl friends and we did everything together.  We all learned Italian together.  It's amazing how much fun you can have without being fluent in a language.  The first few months for us were hilarious because our language training limited our conversations to extremely simple Q and As such as.... Oh, so you visited Cinque Terre over the weekend?  Oh how was it?  Did you like it?  Wow, great pictures.  I was so sick of not being able to communicate that I studied double time to learn just a bit faster.  Oh, but what a struggle...what an experience.  We all promised each other we would meet again in Firenze, but promising each other this we all knew things would never be the same again.  We will meet in Firenze again one day but life will change us.  We'll be older, hopefully wiser,and our personalities changed from our experiences, but the city that brought us all together will always be the same Firenze

ok I gotta stop thinking about this before I start sobbing.

i'll end with a pic of my bestest friend and hubby...

this was taken right after the ceremony. 

Plans four our July wedding are coming along.  I already have most of my stationery designed, my mom, mother in law, and brother in law are cooking for our reception, and i've picked out my dress.  I've changed my mind and I'll be buying a dress from David's Bridal.  How does it look like?  You'll see it in my wedding pics.  heee 

Anyhow, classes are good.  Now that I'm minoring in management, I'm starting to wonder why I never went business.  Oh yeah... I forgot... The corporate world is analagous to POLITICS.  THE CAUSE OF ALL THINGS EVIL.  No I'm kidding.  I'm really enjoying my classes.  Who knew I would like accounting and marketing?!?! 

M  U  S  T     S  L  E  E  P.

ciao!

Currently Reading A Wrinkle in Time By Madeleine L'Engle see related

Adesso un po' in italiano...

Una cosa che ho trovato in me stessa e' non sono una persona facilemente soddisfata. Non c'e una soluzione nella metta' per me.  E' tutto oppure niente.  Purtroppo, la vita non e' cosi'.  Deve essere un equilibrio in tutte le cose ma per me, mi sembra e' quasi impossibile.  Sono troppo ostinata ed orgolgiosa.  Spero che io possa cambiare nel futuro.  Altrimenti, non so cosa succedera' con la mia vita.  In Italia ero cosi' sicuro de me stessa... nelle mie capacita' che mi sono sentita come potrei fare tutto finche' io lo facesse con lavoro forzato.  Non lo so.  Vedo spesso a miei amici e non posso fermarmi a paraganare me stessa con loro.  Benche' ho avuto un grandioso soggiorno in Italia ed adesso sposata con un uomo perfetto, non sono soddisfato.  Ancora non posso maneggiare il mio tempo.  Faccio tutto al'ultima minuto come io avessi tredici anni ancora.  Mi sento ancora come non abbia imparato nulla nella mie venti-tre anni della vita.  Sopratutto, non sono soddisfata con la mia carriera.  Mi sento come non ho una vocazione chiara.  Non mi sento in gamba nel campo del architettura pero allo stesso tempo non posso imaginarmi nel altro campo.  Penso a me stessa, se potrei imparare la lingua italiana in sei mesi, io potesse imparare la lingua di architettura per il resto della mia vita.  Pero sono molto insicura.  Dovrei ripetere nel mie mente... Ho piu' valore che io credo pero... ne credero'?

Currently Watching Leon - The Professional (Uncut International Version) see related