DesperationMany of you knew that I went on a missions trip this past summer. I’ve followed up with most of you but God really tugged at my heart these past couple of days and I can’t help but share some of these thoughts. During these past couple of days, I realized how hard it was to find a doctor. For goodness sake, I’ve got insurance! I’ll pay! Anything please, please take me. I need some medical attention. I must have called a zillion doctors and all I heard was: “I’m sorry, you’re a new patient? Well, we can’t schedule you for a new patient appointment for three to four weeks;” or “I’m sorry, we’re not taking new patients.” Midway through my calls, I realized that one of my youth grouper’s mom is a doctor. Thank God for her kindness, and she took me in. Thanks tinyolee’s mom! Also thanks to my coworkers and especially lawtai for taking care of me. My coworkers sent me home telling me that I’m all covered and thank God for an exempt job because otherwise, I would not be experiencing such generous medical/sick-time benefits. That really got me to thinking. If it was this hard to get a doctor as an insured-salaried- person from a big corporation, how much harder it must be for those that are uninsured-don’t have any sick days- minimum waged-jobless person- homeless? What happens to them? What kind of treatment do they get? If we got the “four weeks” wait to receive medical attention, either A. we get better by ourselves. Or B. Too late. We’re dead. (Have this doctor hunting situation happened to you before?) This also got me thinking about my missions trip and single parents. During the missions trip, one of the tasks we had to do was to go out and navigate NYC by ourselves and find a meal for $1.50 each. Our city hosts from CSM emptied our pockets so we only had our wits and the minimal cash. My group consisted of 5 people and myself, so that means $9 dollars to feed three big manly men, two female athletes, and a very hungry me. I was very nervous because I didn’t want any of my “kids” to be hungry and I prayed that somehow that $9 dollars will bring us through. You know what though? It turns out that food wasn’t much of a problem that night. My moment of true desperation came when one of the girls had to use the bathroom. I thought that was going to be a piece of cake. Go to a big chain restaurant, walk right in, get out. Bam done. Not so much in NYC. Gotta buy something my friends. So do we start chipping into the 9 dollars? Or what should we do? I mean common Heycornmama. You can “stop” this “game” for a second and just pay her way to the bathroom right? No. I resolved that I wouldn’t and experience this because this is a very real situation that others experience in the plight of homelessness. Finally one of our men navigated us to the park and all was relieved. If they were my real kids and I really couldn’t “buy” my way into the bathroom everyday, either A. I would try to find help or B. I would well up in grief realizing how I could not provide for my own children. (What would you have done?) So what does finding a doctor and finding a bathroom teach me? That I am blessed. While I believe that people should work hard to provide for themselves and their families, there are probably some situations where it is hard to get out of the cycle. And when you’ve been in the cycle too long, you’ve lost all hope. There are people that abuse the system and I’ve seen that happen all the time growing up but I realized that we probably have to give a benefit of the doubt just because there are people out there who are genuinely trying to make it. And you know, its up to God to judge at the end anyways right? (Someone sound off on this subject?) I’m not saying we need more programs or give handouts or any of that. I'm not even saying you should starting joining these groups or start going on missions trips out of obligation. I’m saying, give hope. And hope comes in all forms. Ask God how He wants to use you. And of course, we need to reevaluate our tithes, our time, and realize the many blessings that God has bestowed. Like Boaz from the book of Ruth, we need to be kinsman-redeemers in our own ways. Check out his story for yourself friends. We need to let others share in our blessings and protect and take care of those that cannot take care of themselves. Peace out. M. | 
