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hibbardothespaniard15
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Name: adam
Country: United States
State: Illinois
Metro: Peoria
Birthday: 10/8/1989
Gender: Male
Interests: lifting weights, girls, my family, trying to act like i can play the guitar and drums, hangin out at the park and hanging out with more friends and wrestling and football
Expertise: WAR history and lifting weights? thats all i can think of since i seriously stink at life.. i cant even do the damn spock thing with my hand thats how bad i am
Occupation: Military
Industry: Government
Message: message me
AIM:  TankHibbard5
Member Since:
7/31/2005
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| Meh dont worry about the entry below me....no pun intended. Im in a weird mood right now. I cant really explain it. Its a mix of sorrow and anger and relief at the same time. This entire weekend has been an interesting one as far as my moods go. Ive been on both extremes of the spectrum you could say. I was very frustrated and angry friday for the most part till the dance. The dance made me happy for the most part. A few people should learn to keep opinions to themselfs but ah well thats what freedom of speech is for right? Anyway moving on, Ive been doing a lot of soul searching this weekend, and ive come to the conclusion that the only way to get closer to god is to get rid of the "old me" who has taken over me again these past few months. I hate the old me. Right now im having an inner battle. Ive been at myself for 2 weeks. Its really wearing me down like you wouldnt believe. The anger Ive felt from it is awful. Ive felt so much rage and hate flow through me I felt I was about to puke friday. I went on a bike ride friday, thinking it would calm my anger down, all it did was make it worse. So I thought,"well maybe Mack could help me out with my problem, tell me a verse or something", but ah las, he wasnt home, he was at chris's helping him babysit so he wouldnt be home till midnight. Stuart tried to help but it didnt work. When i left the house to go back home i felt complete and utter hatred. I felt like my friend had let me down for he was not there to help me in a time of need. So that just got me even more angered. So i went home and my blood boiled. I also thought we were all going to see 28 weeks later on friday night at 950. So i call some of my friend that were able to go to the movie to tell them what time. So i sent out messages telling the time. Well then i read a friends bulletin and it said attention,those seeing 28 weeks later or something like that, pretty much saying "hey guys ive gotten like 5 calls tonight asking what time we seeing the movie, i only planned on seeing it with my girl tonight, that is all. So that really pissed me off cause i felt like he was bashing me so that really got me in a "fuck all of you" type mood. Fast forward, i go to the dance cause i have nothing else to do, i do my ususal dance stupid type deal and this one girl keeps making fun of me telling me to stop, but had it been any other night i probably wouldnt have cared but this night i was angry as it was so that just pissed me off even more. It was a domino effect. But overall i loved the dance. It helped me cool off somewhat. And yet at the sametime make me feel so alone, i did feel out of the circle of friends there. I felt like i was just a loner and thats it. But anyway, saturday was better, i lifted in the morning with some good buds. Went on to do construction from bout 930 till 4. Hungout with austin and mike(which was nice of them to come by) and we hungout at austins, went to jeffs, then went and saw 28 weeks later.Saw brody jon chance and emily there. So i walk in and chance says something and then goes are you mad at me? But i was tired from construction so i was out of it. But basically he thought i was mad at him for something even though i thought about it and i was only frustrated about the whole bulletin thing, but for the most part i was fine. the movie was good. Sunday was a good day. Mothers day went well. But i thought about it tonight and i have come to the conclusion i have to change, i have to get rid of my goofy self and crazy self, so im just gonna act mature now or try. Get back the attitude i had when i was saved back in the summer. Cause right now ive been doing a lot of questioning on myself. Its the only way. Noone can help me with this, noone will give a damn to help me. Everyone is caught up in their lives. I wanna help those around me, but what do you do when you help those you care for and they dont help you in return. Thats why im mad. Noone wants to help me.. But i need it bad...im such a mental mess right now its not even funny....I guess this is my notice to you all I NEED YOUR HELP! Just talk to me guys. Ive never felt this empty before in my life. This whole mental thing has gotten to the point where i want to change myself. You know what, if thats what it takes to do it, then so be it, im gonna get rid of my oldself. If noone wants to help, thats fine i guess, ive gotten this far. But all i ask is just pray for me guys cause im really in a terrible mental state........so thats my notice. Im gonna change and be a whole new different person. | | |
| Attention: This goes out to Matt and Chris. If you guys piss me off one more time by just the way you act and treat your friends, i am seriously going to beat the living hell out of you. So best be not pissing me off alright? If so i have no problem wooping your punk asses to the ground! Gah im so pissed off right now you wouldnt even believe it. FUCK OFF ASSHOLES! FUCK ALL OF YOU PIECES OF SHIT! | | |
| You know what ive realized? Most of my friends are just pissing me off lately. Fuck them. Seriously. Not all of them but some of them. I mean one friend said quote on quote " Adam we need to get the group together again and just chill, oh and ill even call you after lunch tomorrow. And guess what that friend doesnt fucking call me today. I dont even know what the fuck he was doing. Gah. And one friend decides to back out on filming. But i mean we all coulda still hungout but nooo, i try calling them and they dont fucking answer. Fuck that shit dude. And one of my friends isnt mad at me just "annoyed" and its really confusing the hell out of me cause i dont know if the person is my friend now or not, and its really getting to me....And others just annoy the crap outta me. And it seems my friends act differently around other people and decide to talk shit. Wow, how low can you fucking go. I dont know why some of us are this persons friend. Too many people trying to act all cool and popular and shit. I guess all im saying is that some of my friends need to get their fucking acts straight. Well thats all ive got. | | |
| You know what ive learned? Hardwork gets you NO WHERE in life. Its true. I bust my ass off for wrestling and im not even on varsity at the moment, instead nick dolan has my spot. Let me take a look at some of my friends. Oh lets start off with Joel. Yeah Joel Bailey is one of those hardworking kids you know, but what happens, oh he still gets owned and because of a dislocated shoulder, hes out for the season, yeah hard work for nothing, huh? Oh and lets see how Dereks doing? Oh wait, hes still getting owned, now grant it he didnt go out last year he still worked his ass off, but hes still getting owned, whats hardwork done for him? Nothing. Oh and Mack, lets see hows Mack doing, oh yeah hes still getting owned too and hes working his butt off as well. He was even on varsity last year and hes still getting owned, yeah hardwork has helped him out a ton. Oh and lets check on Chance. Yeah hes working his ass off a lot with Abe and yeah hes not having that hot of a season either. Yeah doesnt hardwork just pay off.....And Golden, well hes still getting owned and he still works his ass off. Travis's first year of wrestling so i kinda expect him to get owned. But at least he should be winning a few. Oh yeah whats hardwork doing there. Oh and last but not least Jeff. Jeff the kid who prolly works his ass off the hardest at anything he does. Hows he doing right now, oh yeah getting owned just like the rest of us. And then I, well lets just say my season is not going great right now. I thought losing 40lbs to get down to 145 would be great. But no, im still getting owned. I bust my ass off this summer, losing weight took its toll on me. There were nights when everyone would be eating pizza or something but no, me trying to be disciplined and shit, im not gonna eat or drink anything. Where did that get me. Yeah i still lost weight but i still dont have abs like i hoped i would by wrestling. Yeah thats what hardwork got me. NOTHING! Gah and as of now im single. But you know what? I really am glad she dumped me. You know i saw the end coming anyway. We were always arguing and hardly getting along why we didnt breakup sooner beats me. But its ok we will try to be friends right? WRONG! From what ive learned you cant for the most part be friends with your ex gf's unless you havent talked to them in a while. But yeah thats my rant. As you can see... working your ass off gets you nowhere in life. Meh im gonna go cool down now... later. | | |
| HAPPY 6 MONTHS ALLY! YOU ARE AMAZING! Well thats about all ive got to say. And mack that post is probably the smartest thing ive ever seen in my life. So god bless everyone! Oh and lets all have a random dance party tonight shall we? | | |
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