hillarycoltharp's Xanga

Check out my Slide Show!

Sun, 11 May 2008 21:11:04 GMT

Click on her song she loves on the speaker Click again when you are finished with the slide show. It will go on forever if you don't click the speaker icon the second time.

More below

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Sun, 11 May 2008 20:00:58 GMT

I know every mother has had their own special day and their own perfect gift that means more to them than they thought possible. And I know you understand how wonderful this Mother’s Day has been for our family; knowing we almost missed the chance to celebrate two very special mothers in our lives….Hillary, and my mother, Jessie (AKA Maw). I wonder how many times each one of us has silently thanked God for the joy of this day-- instead of the pain and sadness we could have been feeling. I also apologize for reveling in our happiness, as I know so many of you are missing your own mothers or daughters…even sisters today.

We promise to honor your loved ones by always striving to do our best to be thankful for those special moments we have together…..and to cherish those gifts. The tangible and intangible presents we get that bind us even more to each other and to God. And they are the reminders of the unconditional love we must have for each other as He has for us….always.

Here is mine…..and here is Hillary’s

Happy, Happy Mother’s Day from all of us

My Gift--My daughther dancing with her father

and Hillary's...

Hillary's gift --She plays Max's amazing words over and over

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Sun, 11 May 2008 18:37:20 GMT

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Sun, 11 May 2008 18:34:13 GMT

Friday, May 09, 2008

Fri, 09 May 2008 18:05:47 GMT

Hillary --Eight Months Post Trauma

Thank you Vanderbilt Trauma Team and LifeFlight Team. This is our girl 8 months later and her recovery began with your brilliance. She will soon to be out of her wheelchair. You have given us the best Mother's Day ever....watching her celebrate her own Mother's Day weekend with her son, Max. Again, thank you from the bottom of our hearts. The Coltharp Family

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Wed, 07 May 2008 12:08:28 GMT

Weekend Warrriors--Saturday May 3rd and 4th

Wed, 07 May 2008 12:01:48 GMT

There’s still no place like home and no one like our friends.

This had been the only time since Hillary’s accident Max had called the house and asked to stay in Wilder for the weekend. Charlie was having a birthday party and we all knew how pulled Max felt about things. We were too. First of all, I am crazy about Charlie and I love his hugs, so thinking of disappointing Charlie as well as Max was really tough. But we also knew Hillary has such limited time with Max. As we talked with her about his request, she said several times, “I want him to do what he wants, but I miss him so badly, too.”

We had already planned a big weekend here as well with family friends of both Mommy’s and Max. (And to top things off, Hillary’s God Parents, the Zacherettis, were on their way and surprising us as well) On Thursday morning Max had called very early and we said, “You do what you want but we have big plans that we hated you to miss. Within seconds of hearing the plans it was, “I WANT TO COME HOME!” So much for trying to surprise anyone around here. But that’s the way all our kids had been. Over the years we learned we were better off letting them select their own surprise party invitations.

Max’s first T-Ball game was scheduled for this weekend with many from his last year’s group on his team. Though he isn’t able to practice with them until school is out for the summer, if he didn’t come home he wasn’t going to make their first game either. Once here, Max started calling his “old day care buddies to check in. It was hysterical to hear them talking to each other; affirming who he could expect to see on the field and who had been slotted on a different team and would now be their opponent. When Little Isaac called I could hear Isaac saying, “Wha’s’up, Buddy” with immediate giggles and screaming; making their conversation sound like another language. And then it was Jack and then Barron who called right behind. Thank goodness there was shopping to be done at the mall to keep him occupied instead of an endless wait for the game because Max was on fire with excitement for the day ahead. Fortunately we had quite a few errands including securing cleats, “perfect” shorts since the team shirts weren’t in, time in the electronic batting cage and then Uncle Alex made the mistake of saying he was hungry. It was off for chicken nuggets but this time we tried to mix it up just a little by going to Chick Filet. Afterwards, we were on the move again and racing Paw Paul to Toys R Us. I was at the “wheel” of Max and Hillary in her wheelchair while Paul drove his truck…and the race was on! Max was laughing hysterically through the ride…but no more than when he watched me trying to catch my breath as we bolted through the door to victory; beating Paw Paul by only seconds which made our triumph even sweeter. (We are terribly competitive in this family.)

There are really no words to describe the rest of the day and even the pictures and video we posted cannot do justice to our weekend. Some of the best moments were the way the boys played together in the basement afterwards and the funny things they said and did. Apparently each one of these little guys had awakened way too early anticipating the excitement of the day. Barron’s mom said her son had been ecstatic saying, “The guys are all back together again, Mom!” And Jack could hardly contain himself as the first one to arrive. It was as if no time had passed between the two of them the moment they saw each other. Their connection (or reconnection) was instant…and it had begun on the phone like a couple of older guys. It was so funny (and sweet) to watch from afar. But nothing was quite as funny as Little Isaac when the silly little cheap disc launchers were given to them for back yard play. Apparently they had been a quite cool choice and my neighbor Susan said there were squeals of “Awesome!” and “Cool”, “Wow!” But then Little Isaac yelled, “SWEET EASTER!!!!” and everyone just cracked up…and we are still laughing over that funny little guy.

At Sunday dinner (Did I just say that? I sound like my Great Grandmother It’s our new tradition--a big meal right before Max hits the road for Wilder…including vegetables much to his displeasure ) So during Sunday dinner, we were laughing at some family insider jokes and Max said, “This has been the best weekend of my life!” And though he has said that on quite a few over his lifetime, it reaffirmed for Max and all of us he had made the right decision in coming home. He and his friends had truly had a magical time together just being together again. And though it was too cold to have Hillary sit outside for the game, she was there to cheer her son on and he knew it. He was so proud of her and so were we. John Ryan joining the after party was the absolute icing on the cake. And for the first time Max left all of us without tears and only a few minutes of lingering sadness knowing he would surely be back for Mother’s Day. It was wonderful! And as he ended his reassurance to himself that school was almost out with only three more weeks and that he’d be back, he started dialing his phone for Jack. Max is just so “SMANDSOME”-- not at all “STUGLY”. (And that was just one of the insider jokes we shared today and only Max and Hillary can tell you more about that--- which they are happy to do.)

Thanks so much for pulling for us on this journey. We feel your love and support and we appreciate the things you continue to tell us about our daughter and what her strong fight for her son and for her life with her family and friends mean to you. Yesterday as we shopped, several of you introduced yourselves to us…and especially to Hillary. I had even missed meeting a couple of you and as Paul told me about how touched he was at the things you said, he described you as Hillary’s angels. We love it so much when you come up to us-- (to her)-- and let her know you have been praying for her and the hundreds in your churches and elsewhere who join you in those prayers. As Paul reminded Hillary of the many times that has happened, she spoke a prayer just for each of you.

XOXO

--Shawn

Thursday, May 1st

Sun, 04 May 2008 18:21:05 GMT

Mommy and YaYa found a new ride and Paw Paul calls YaYa, "Mrs. MacGyver". PawPaul has always been the real MacGyver. (We will show you what we mean about that this summer.) Also Mommy said “Goodbye” to Dr. Konrad.

Hillary doesn't use a wheelchair much anymore. Sammie had been pushing Hillary saying the chair was in need of repair and the strategy had worked. It was the perfect reason for keeping our girl with both feet on the ground. So when we realized her chair was not going to fit in my car for our trip to Nashville, Hillary and I thought all would be fine without it. I remembered there would be easy access in Dr. Konrad's neurosurgical clinic with a drive through entrance of sort. Besides, once there we would have access to plenty of wheelchairs if we needed one. There was only one problem with my theory: Hillary's "drinking problem" (as she calls it) with diet coke, tea or sprite would naturally require a pit stop along the way and I had completely failed to think that through. When "the need" hit we decided a small hotel would be the best. When I sat the hemi-walker in front of her, Hillary rose out of her low seat with steady ease. And then in a flash, 40 mph winds hit and her walker and these two women began digging our heels into the very thick and imperfect cobblestone walkway that appeared forever ahead of us!!! The wind and terrain would have been tough for anyone, but for someone physically challenged, it was beginning to feel a bit insurmountable. But bless our girl's heart, she did make it to the front door, and as we passed over the entrance threshold we saw every one of the desk staff and manager exhale in concert.

She walked and walked trying to make her way to the rest room. Suddenly I thought, "If Dr. Konrad sees her exhausted he will think she has digressed." I knew that wonderful man needed to see the beauty of his work in full miraculous form, so about that time I said, "Hillary, would you be OK with me giving you a ride on a hotel luggage cart?" She laughed and said, "Sure!" So she piled onto the cart and I apologized profusely for the less dignified wheels and approach for her final destination but off we went.

Mrs. MacGyver's ride

It was more hysterical than it was humbling but only because of her. I would say, "I'm so sorry we need to do this" and she would respond, "This is not your fault Mom.......it's just fine and I'm OK" And in a few minutes we would both say the same thing again. (She has an excuse for repetition with her short term memory issues....my repeating was just nerves.) While in the rest room I of course had to take my own opportunity and she asked, "What is it that makes peeing contagious?" I laughed and laughed and then she did because at our house laughing with each other at some of the crazy moments around our journey has become even more contagious than peeing. I suspect in our darkest times with Hillary each one of our family members thought we might never feel happiness strongly enough to ever find laughter again

When we arrived at Dr. Konrad's office, Ashley and Vance were waiting for us. They were a welcome site and our two first born crazy daughters had the whole waiting room in stitches…including ones who only scowled when we first arrived.

Aunt Hillary and Vance

Then it was time to see our hero, Dr. Konrad, and hear what we thought would be good news. He spent thirty minutes with us and answered every question we have had after telling us the bone flap was 100% successful and her body had accepted the replacement perfectly.

Will she be in pain for the rest of her life? "No, as difficult as TBI is for a year or so, she will not suffer the life long pain or difficulties associated with what those with a spinal chord injury would have to deal with. Spinal chord injuries can deal with down the road problems such as kidney damage and other extremely difficult problems. Her TBI will continue to be visible less and less as her memories reconnect and her speech comes back to normal.”

He did go on to talk about one area of concern: "I'm concerned about her left shoulder. Any residual pain will not be from her brain injury within a very short time. She is going to be OK. She just needs to get every bit of her life back to normal. Normalcy and structure is the key. They are a must! It's quite surprising she's been able to do this well with her most important purpose in life so out of her reach.

What about restrictions? “None....get her life back to normal She needs that so much…and the consistency of schedule as much as possible. Be sure she sticks to same times for bed and waking... every day if possible, too”

No restrictions? Driving...surely not driving? “No restrictions” (Though we can tell you, we’re not ready for her driving yet, so we’re going to ignore that for a bit)

What about starting back to work when she feels better? (knowing she had planned to cut Lexie’s hair the next day with with help from Jodi who just held Hillary's combed sections before cutting) No restrictions! . (I sensed Dr. Konrad thought, “Do I need to write this down for you in big letters")

He went on to say: “...the only thing I worry about for any pain and long term challenges in the near future is the arm. It's so important for her work Stay very close to Dr. Rommelman too. Her Physiatrist is paramount to this last leg of recovery. But in the mean time, can we just have her come here once a week and let her travel from the lobby to back here with us? We love her and the way she makes us feel. (I told him she was already booked for one day with Dr. Tressler's team in the clinic for haircuts, but we'd see what we could do.)

Why does the right side near her temple still have a little "cave in" place? It's just waiting for muscle to build back over the skull again. It will come. But it doesn't matter anyway; it will be under her hair.

Just before leaving she hugged him and hugged him thanking him so sincerely for saving her life. Dr. Konrad then asked her to consider being a volunteer with him for reaching others in speaking out for prevention education. He said, "She is going to be great for that and she's going to be ready for that kind of help for others soon." She was honored that he had asked her. Then, as we left his office, I was reminded it had been only a few hours ago in a Holiday Inn Express where she must have already felt her new calling. As Hillary and I finally piled her butt onto that luggage cart she smiled and gave a little queen type wave to the hotel staff saying, "Wear your seatbelts!" and we all laughed but also shivered.

She's going to be great at her new job!

Thank you for the many prayers that made her goodbye to Dr, Konrad and staff so sweet. She’s said goodbye as his patient and now preparing to be a part of his team in a very special way. While her singing voice isn’t back yet, it appears Hillary’s voice is going to resonate much more than musically….and on many fronts.

XOXOX

--Shawn

Still her most important and favorite job. MOMMY

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 10:51:34 GMT

Hillary is doing great and making phone calls like a champ. I had meetings in Nashville yesterday and the "Wilford Boys" were sick, so it was great to be able to help out just a little.

It's going to be a busy weekend with Max and Hillary with parties and T-Ball and ending it with the "Hair Show" in Nashville. It was nice to get a little rest before we get going.

Tomorrow Hillary has an important appointment with Dr. Konrad, her nuerosugeon, and we hope to hear the surgery was a roaring success. We will keep you posted.

XOXO

--Shawn

Monday, April 28, 2008

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 12:14:19 GMT

Gretchen wrote:

ZOOM ZOOM!

Oh my goodness. Hillary and I had an awesome day together. I am so glad I could help Sammie out!!!!! Hillary has no idea but she is my therapy. She is my therapy from daily home stressors and job stress. She is such an inspiration to me. I just wish she could remember. When I arrived at the house, Sammie had cracked the whip and exhausted Hillary with her morning workout. So there I sat twiddling my thumbs praying I could find something to watch on TV while Hillary napped. There was no way I was going to wake her up because I've seen that already when she has missed her nap. :) It wasn't long when I heard a strong voice saying "Hey I'm freezing in here!!' I went to her and turned off her fan...and off to sleep she went again! Darn that Sammie!!! But it wasn't long she was up and ready to go. We sat in the living room for awhile reconnecting with each other. I asked Hillary if she knew it was beautiful day outside. She said she would love to see it so off we went outside for a little stroll/roll. Once we were outside we sat in the sun for a few minutes enjoying the weather. Much to my surprise there was a chicken mcnugget attack looming. So I told her, "I'm not sure if I can do this, Hillary", but with confidence she said "Don't worry, I will help you." So off we went to McDonalds. As soon as we got in the car, she changed the radio station, and said "You love the same music I do." Then she proceeded to tell me all the stations she had programmed in her car. I kept thinking to myself I wonder if that is true, and I then remembered, we have the same "VW" car so the interiors are very similar. She showed me where each station was located in "her" car. WOW!!! Once at McDonalds we made our purchases and I said, " Where to next?" She said, "The mall." I asked her if she remembered the "Quilters" and she told me she did. So I took her to the mall and showed her all the traffic. Thank goodness she changed her mind!!!! Our next stop was Noble Park where we watched the ducks (which I despise), kids skating, and yes, Quilters!!! We finally settled on a shady spot to eat our lunch and so we could watch all the children playing. She loved it and watched every move, and she talked about how much she misses her son. We giggled and talked about boys, and her dating soon.

Then we talked about her accident. She told me that she remembers 3 angels surrounding her when she was laying on the ground. She said they sang to her. I was speechless. She looked at me and said "I saw God too". Let me tell you there were tears and cold chills in that playground at that moment. She was so intense. I can't describe that moment, but I will never forget her look or the way she spoke to me.

After I finished my sandwich we were off again!!! I spoke to her about my boyfriend John, and she said, "Lets go see him. We met up with him after his lunch. Typical Hillary.... she flirted, and so did John. Apparently they have a date. :) It was the first time he had actually met her in person. And of course they immediately connected. They laughed and talked like old friends. A few minutes later he called me and said, she is AWESOME. Then he asked if she would remember their visit. I told him unfortunately not. I said she might recognize your face. I think it broke his heart. It was a bitter sweet moment for him. I had to show him the website just to remind us how far she has come. So I am pretty sure she has his heart too,,, and more visits are in his near future

My mom called on our way "home" and said come on by the house. Once again Hillary was up for the visit. She remembered my mom immediately. She said you are Gretchen's mother (I think she remembered her cooking). Mom cried, of course. Then Hillary met my dad. You have to know my dad. He and Hillary just connected. And she talked his ear off!!! She met my dogs, too. She thought she was going to be sneaky and hide one in her wheelchair and take him home. You're welcome for taking care of that one!!!! :)

After our visit and few photo ops, I was on my way "home" again. Well I thought. My parents live out in the country, so we were on back roads. Hillary said, "I don't know where I am." So we took a little bit of a different route to try and find some landmarks. I got to Berger Road and Lone Oak, and I said "Anything look familiar yet?" She said, "Yep, Kroger is on the left." I asked her which way I needed to turn onto Lone Oak Road. She said its faster to turn Right!!! WOW!! Once we turned on 32nd Street I said, "I bet this looks very familiar..." She said, "If you turn right, Great Expectations is on the left." She WOW!!! Then she asked, "Can we stop by there?" I pulled to the back and she said "I want to walk ." I told her it would be a long walk, but she insisted. I had to try "Okee Dokee, here we go.Hillary lets walk up the ramp." But no...she wanted the stairs. There are only three but I was scared to death. We made it to the first step. It wasn't Hillary praying out loud It was me!!!!! "Dear Lord God, please don't let her fall, especially on my watch. Amen!!"! :) Like a pro she took the hand rail in her left hand, and it was left foot first step, RIGHT FOOT, second step (okay this is where I really freaked out). Left foot on third step and we were done. She put ALL of her weight on her RIGHT FOOT. She never slowed down. Once we made it to the door, she decided she wanted her wheel chair. I was so happy to hear those words. I think I needed it worse than she did. I might add she didn't use her walker, This was all on her own. She remembered everyone's names almost always correctly without being prompted. She got her "unibrow" waxed and I could tell she was getting tired so we were off to our final stop ....Home!

When we arrived home she finished her nuggets and of course, tried to convince me to go get more......didn't work. She decided a nap might be nice. I never heard a word out of her. I think she was exhausted! I think I even dozed a little......emotionally and physically. It was an AWESOME day!

Sorry if I have rambled on too long. But it was just great!!!!!!

Love you guys,

Gretchen