My Dear Friend Fauquet has prompted me to make a long missed post.   I am afraid, I have spent my spare comptuer time on Facebook rather than Xanga.  Mostly because it is a quick fix to see what people are up to.  I am under Catherine Breazeale Ellis or Cat Ellis should you have a facebook account and want to visit me there.  Much has happened since the last time I was on Xanga.  I now have a second grandchild and life is a little more complex, but I am content within myself.

Mama at labor onset.  She says finally!

An angry Hayden Michael or H. Michael as my Dawg and Blythe refer to him.  He was extremely insulted at the way he was handled at birth.

Aunt Blythe in awe.  She witnessed the birth.  I've never seen anyone as moved by a birth as Blythe was.  She was bouncing side to side staring in horror at Tracy's pain and then when the head started to emerge, I thought she was either going to pass out, vomit or knock one of the nurses down in an effort to be clear of the room.  Needless to say she did not find it a beautiful event.  Sais la vie.

I was completely in awe of the birth and my new grandson. 

Danyale was tickled pink.

She adores here new brother.

Eleven days later Hayden had his first Halloween.

He was Tigger and his mom a vampire.

With her abundance of hair, she makes an excellent Anne Rice vampire.

Coco was tickled, too, though you cannot tell it by any of the pictures I've taken thus far.

Sweets is having a boy.  Michael Sean or Sean Michael will be his name.  He will be arrive in a controlled delivery on October 20,2009.

Update 11/21/09  He was not named Sean Michael, but Hayden Michael instead.  Some of us call him H. Michael.

Where we are?

Sweets is now fifteen weeks pregnant.  Thursday, she walked from one school building to another to go and view a computer room, where the temperature was set at 50 degrees.  But Sweets was sweating and her heart rate was so fast she could feel her pulse beating from her heart down her arms and into her wrist. 

She was fanning herself and her classmates were asking her if she were okay.  She said she was feeling funny and then she fainted.  She awoke in one of her classmates arms surrounded by a lot of alarmed people.  They drove her to her car and sent her home.  She called me to let  me know and I ask, “What did your doctor say.” 

She replies, “I didn’t call her, because I have an appointment on Tuesday.”

I say, “Uh, call your damn doctor and then call me back.”

She calls me back and says she has an appointment in an hour and would I come and get her to take her because she feels funny.  I go get her, take her to the doctor and the doctor admits her in the hospital.  In addition to the erratic pulse that kept fluctuating up and down for no apparent reason, she had had a migraine for two weeks that she had not complained about.

They did  and MRI, an echo cardiogram, and an overnight telemetry to monitor her pulse.  They also drew enough blood to donate to the Red Cross.

All they could find was that she had chronic migraines and low iron.  They were unable to figure out why she has the erratic pulse.   If it continues she is to go to a cardiologist.  In the mean time she is to do no house work, yard work or anything else strenuous.

The baby’s heart beat is strong.

My daughter needs your prayers and support, please go visit her.  Thank you so much.

sweets added a weblog entry: Pregnancy Updates and Fears

Miracles From God

Sweets is having another baby.  She needs your prayers for a healthy pregnancy.  Having babies for Sweets has not been easy.  We've always considered Danyale to be a miracle from God and now here is yet another. 

Danyale is happy about it, though when she was told and shown these pictures. She responded, "Ewwww, it looks like a blob to me."  Danyale will be eight when this baby comes to us.  Her world will be rocked, but I am glad that she will have the chance to experience this.

When she and I discussed it, she was a little taken back that she would not be allowed to play with the baby at first.  I said, well, babies are very breakable during their first year, so you can't really play with them very much, but before you know that baby will be crawling all over you.  You will be a great help to your mother fetching diapers and picking out clothes for the baby to wear.  You'll even be able to help teach the baby to dress his or herself.  She replied, 'Yeah, that will be a good thing.'

Sweets is still in school and doing very well.  The school is supportive of her pregnancy and want to help her get her studies done before the baby comes so she can have more time off after the baby is born.

Now I am also going to ask that you pray for Sweet's ex-husband.  I want you to pray for an open heart.  He is very ugly to Sweets and says bad things to and about her in front of Danyale.  When he picked up Danyale this weekend, he once again threatened to go back to court and take Danyale away from Sweets because he says Danyale would be better off with him than her mother.  He made this threat in front of Danyale, which made her cry and cling to her mother.  She said she didn't want to live with him.  He only thinks of what he wants.

He tells Danyale that Sweets is an unfit mother.  He tells her Sweets is lazy.  He thinks she is unfit because she cannot buy everything Danyale wants.  He thinks she is unfit because she makes Danyale eat the dinner the rest of the family is eating and does not fix separate food for Danyale because she is lazy.  He also thinks she is lazy because she does not bath or dress Danyale.  When does he think that children are suppose to learn these things.  I could go on and on, but you get the picture. 

This is a woman who is striving for a better life for her family.  She is doing well in schools with A's and B's, which doesn't sound lazy to me.

When Sweets was married to her ex-husband,  nothing she did was good enough for him and he took every opportunity to tell her how unworthy she was.  It makes me very sad that even though the divorce papers forbid this behavior, he is still doing it.  So, my prayer is that God open his heart and release all the bitterness that must be festering inside it. 

I pray that he comes to a realization that Danyale is as much a part of her mother as she is of him.  Danyale does not need to be told that her mother is unfit, lazy, weak or any of the many other unkind and untrue things that he is saying about Sweets to her and their child.

I pray that he realizes that by doing this he is abusing Danyale as much or more than he is Sweets.  A child needs to feel good about both parents.  It is not a competition, because both parents serve specific needs for the child.  

Whenever Danyale tells me about the bad things her daddy says about Sweets.  I feel a cold fury.  I ask God to help me.  I reply that I am sorry her daddy says such mean things about her mother.  I have advised her to let him know that when he says things like that it hurts your feelings, too.  I say, your daddy loves you and it does not matter that he does not like your mother.  Your mother loves you and she is a good mother who loves you very much. 

And when I am alone I have to pray for myself.  This conflict that is causing so much damage to my daughter and my granddaughter hurts me.  I know you all think I am sweet and kind.  And I am.  I try to always see both sides and not judge one or the other, but just figer out how to resolve issue.  I try not to interfere unless I am asked.  Then I say exactly what is on my mind.

I pray for myself because I cannot resolve this issue.  I pray for myself because there are times when I would like to jump on Sweet's ex-husband and beat the living crap out of him.  I want to shake some sense into him and make him understand that it is not all about him and what he wants.

A child does not need to have everything she wants.  She needs to learn that there are limits to everything in life.  If she does not learn that at a young age, she will always be an unhappy, unsatified adult.  She will not have the mental tools she will need to be an independent adult. 

I guess I am ranting so I'd better just close with God bless them and guide them to all the love that is in them and just waiting to grow and allow peace.