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| I've jumped ship and boarded a new vessel. A vessel of evil. A vessel of addiction. A vessel of pure devilry. Myspace.
It's true. Here's my page: Oh, the HUMANITY!
Feel free to look me up, add me if you know me, say "hello". I'll probably end up blogging on there. Ya know how it is...
Everyone is invited to look...EXCEPT my stalker in or around Moorestown, NJ. Using comcastbusiness.net as their server and with the IP of 208.39.157. I know you've been checking this MULTIPLE times a day. Why? I haven't a clue! If you're an actual friend of mine, SAY SOMETHING for goodness sakes! But for now, I'm considering you my stalker. Now, get back to work.
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| Here's something fun and stupid, because I don't feel like being deep and consequential right now.
01) What make of phone do you have?: Nokia
02) What's the last 3 digits of your mobile number?: 299
03) What does the 2nd message in your inbox say? My inbox was automatically deleted. It was a message from Dave from like 3 weeks ago.
04) Who's the first person who comes up under the letter M? Mama Lucidi's Cell
05) Who's the last person you rang?: Dave Work
06) Who was your last missed call from?: Christine at work
07) The 2nd person who comes up under D?: Dad's Cell
08) What does the last message in your inbox say?: All gone.
09) Who's the 3rd person who comes up under J?: Jax Cell
10) Go to your Sent Items - what does the 5th message say?: Empty, I don't text.
11) Who's the 4th person who comes up under S? Shorehouse
12) Who's your network provider?: Cingular
13) How many messages are currently in your inbox?: It's empty.
14) What do you have as your background?: Haha. Dave's mouth. Which incidentally, I would LOVE to be kissing right now.
15) Who's the 2nd person who comes up under R?: Ranger Rick
16) Who is the first person that comes up under L? Lew
17) If you're on Pay as you Go, how much credit do you have? I don't pay as I go. I pay when the damn bill comes in.
18) Who's the 2nd person who comes up under C? Cathy's Cell
19) How many bars of signal do you currently have?: 4
20) What do you have as your main ringtone? A song made for strip teases...
21) Do certain people have their own ringtone? No, I'm not that advanced.
22) Give one example. When I get you all alone...
That is all. K Bye. | | |
| So...wow. This quite possibly could be the most difficult week of my life. You don't know grief until the reality of losing the person you love the most is staring you right in the face. I've cried more tears, had the least sleep, never eaten, always felt sick to my stomach, had my heart implode, been constantly shaking, and my soul was torn apart. The worst part is...it's all my fault. I'm not going to get into details, but I will say I was extremely stupid, highly hypocritical, dishonest, and deceptive to the person I love most in the entire world. I hurt him to the core and went against everything our relationship has stood for for the past two years. Luckily for me, at least for now, I still have him. He found it in his heart to at least try to work it out. We have a lot of rebuilding to do, I have a lot to prove, and there's a very long road ahead of us. I don't expect to be forgiven right away, I don't expect to be trusted right away, but I am going to continue to do what I've done throughout this relationship and that is love him with my entire being, and never let him forget it, and never stop fighting for us as a couple. I do have hope that we can get through this...that we can be stronger because of it, and that we can continue on the path we're supposed to be on, as a couple, as two people who are in love with each other. Erika made an awesome point to me 2 nights ago. She said that out of every married couple she knows, almost every single one of them has told her that their relationship was put to the test on numerous occasions, but esp. close to when a huge commitment was going to be made (ie engagement, marriage). That it is God's way of proving to the couple, that they can weather any storm and come out stronger for it in the end. And for as much as I've been praying these past couple of days, I truly hope that this is what is happening for Dave and I. We've been put to the test...and I have faith we can not only pass the test, but skip a grade or two in the process. You can only enjoy the sweet when you've tasted the sour. We'll have our sweet days again...but for now it's still very bitter.
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| The backbone of our family has gone home to God. And we are left here to fend for ourselves. I'm not sure what will happen in the next few days, weeks, months....years even, but I just hope that whatever we do honors the memory of Nanny and all that she stood for. Selfishily, I was just musing 2 weeks ago that I hope that Nanny would still be around to see my marriage to Dave. If she could hold on for just another year and a half or so... Now she'll have the best seat in the house, as she did every Sunday at church. Only this time she can watch with Papa, Uncle Sonny, and Aunt Babe...and God.
I'll miss you, Nanny. I already do...
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| Ok, so I haven't updated in a month again. Sue me. Literally...I'm up to the challenge. Seriously. Do it.
How to sum up the past month is going to be a little difficult. The months are coasting together now. It seems like I'm running out of time with things...what exactly, I don't know. I constantly feel under the gun. A lot of it has to do with work and there being actually LAWS governing how I do my job and under what time constraints. And sometimes it rolls over into my personal life...like I have to get everything done right that second or I get stressed. In this way I'm a lot more anal than Dave will ever be. He has certain things for work that have tight deadlines...but he magically seems to push everything back and have it all work out. Which is awesome. But I can't do it. Yes, I work best under pressure...always have and am a total procrastinator, but the older I get, the more it bugs me when things aren't done in what I have determined to be the correct timeline. Couple that with extreme impatience...and I'm one stressed out chick. Case in point the other weekend we worked our asses off to get the house ready for my brother to visit. I was so irritable and cwanky and pissed off because it just didn't seem like I was getting a damn thing done. I was, but it took until the next weekend to realize that. Ok, enough about that. Don't even know where that came from.
Cris, my brother, came to visit us this past weekend. What an awesome time. Although I must say my brother shocked me with some of the things he was saying. He's still my big brother and when he's talking about tits and sex and porn....it oogs me out! But I guess that's a sign that he's seeing me as more of an adult...which I suppose is a good thing. We went to see V for Vendetta, went to Atlantic City and Wildwood, went to the Flyer's game, Tony Luke's, and Dave and Buster's...and then go karting! It was a busy weekend. This weekend is going to be more chill and Dave'sgonna work on his car and I'll help where needed...Lana's baptism is on Sunday and we don't have any other definite plans...which makes for a nice weekend. Looking forward to it.
I get paid tomorrow! W00t!
Last thought before I sign off. I don't think I've been a very good friend to anyone lately. The truth is a lot of my priorities have shifted in the past couple of months. Because let's face it...I'm most likely getting married next year and will (knowing my luck) become a mother the year after that. So I have been majorly focusing on my relationship with Dave. And while that's not a bad thing, I feel like I've been neglecting my friends. So I need to find a happy medium...even if it's taking one day or night out of the month to devote to my friends, I think it's important that I do so. So I apologize to those of you who have been slighted these past couple of months. I'm going to try to be a better friend.
Now for the pièce de résistance! This made me laugh like no other. Considering how one of my favoritest foods in the entire world is conversation hearts. Gotta love spamusement!
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