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SubscriptionsSites I Read
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| I was seriously mad that the mall with all the slut shops was closed. I need a pair of gold shoes for my cousins wedding. I didn't want to spend a ton of money on them. I drove over to the Shoe Carnival. Would you believe it, that was closed, too. Don't these people know that the song is always about me? I guess not. I finally went to TJMAXX, which should have been my first stop but I figured gold shoes would be an easy find at any of the slut shops. I walk in and see the perfect pair of gold shoes in a size 5. Resisting the urge to take the shoes and fling them across the store (I learned that one from John), I continue on. Gold catches my eye, they were flats, but never in a million years would they ever work. They looked like some one took aluminum foil, wadded it up, sprayed it gold and tried to make pointy toed flats out of them. My innards died and drowned my inner child, inner elderly woman, and inner gay man. I lost about 7 of my lives just because I thought I might have to wear those shoes. I headed for the clearance racks. Nothing. Nothing at all except the same perfect shoes in a size 12. I almost walk away or else I was going to curse those shoes for giving birth to a size 5 instead of a 7.5, but I don't. I consider buying shoes on-line for more than I really want to pay and 200,000 vials of John's blood to get them here before Saturday. I look again more carefully and I find a decent pair of BCBG shoes that I would wear again. They were $7. That's 10x lower than the maximum I was going to spend (the cost of the shoes I liked on-line), they're good quality, the heel isn't ridiculous and they are still dressy enough, and I can wear them again. For the price that I was going to spend on 1 pair of shoes (not including the overnight shipping) I ended up getting John's new coat, and 2 outfits for him to wear in Cleveland. I probably could have gotten my pajamas as well and said they were the shipping and handling. I love TJMAXX.
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Since they clearly didn't appreciate the front half of the mouse, I mean the good kosher part of the mouse and everything. I ate the friggin' ass of a mouse. I ate it. I left them the good part and they didn't appreciate my hard work. You know I could be all unappreciative like they are. I could get mad like they would. Instead I left them a beautiful, glorius chipmunk tail. Just the tail. No blood, no guts. I love those things. They just make me want to torture and kill a chipmunk. I mean God wouldn't make something so enticing and beautiful if it wasn't meant to be tortured and killed right? Miss Allie Kitteh | | |
| I took the laundry upstairs and in the span of 30 seconds he somehow managed to bathe himself in ranch dressing.
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| I did a search on big breasts and carpal tunnel syndrome. The results weren't as scary as I thought, but that might be because of the moderate safe level that is on my computer. The results just weren't helpful. 1) get a better bra, preferably one that fits. DUH 2) lose weight. I don't need to and I have. I just went down to a 30F instead of a 32F. 3) Get surgery. This one ranged from you shouldn't get breast implants too big for your body to I got surgery and it was the best thing ever. Again well, duh. I didn't post on any boards for advice, but I just love how women assume that all of the women with a small frame have implants. I don't think they would be posting on a board complaining and asking for advice if they elected to get their breasts that big. I guess I am just going to have to live with the pain in my neck and shoulders and tingling arms until I can come up with $35,000. My eggs are still good for 6 months so maybe that's an option.
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| John has started to take the diapers that he has removed in put them in the hamper with the other diapers. I am fully convinced he understands the process of going to the potty. I think he even knows what we want him to do. He is just refusing to do it. Seriously, they need boarding school for potty training. He keeps going on the floor.
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