A lot of college kids go through periods of questioning, which are generally considered times of growth and personal benefit.  What popular opinion does not alert us to is the danger and magnetism of cults.  Eddilina Prysor learned this lesson the hard way. This is her story.

Eddilina, or Eddy as she would later be called, grew up in a normal nuclear family.  Within her suburbial stomping ground lived a mother and father and several sisters with vastly different personalities.

Close family friends describe the Prysor family as being "close", an adjective which is used again later in this story.  Eddy, unfortunately, would not enjoy this life of normalcy for long.

In her first year of college, Eddy was solicited by a member of a group which would later become her entire life.  The solicitor suavely entrusted Eddy with reading material which promised to "broaden horizons within narrow budgets".  

Little did Eddy know she would be muttering this very mantra in her sleep for the rest of her life.

Eddy at first did not accept the new ideas, having lost half her hearing.  But when she turned her good ear to the mysterious woman, she was instantly hooked.  Her ensuing years would be swallowed up by one tornado-like force:

CGOA (pronounced kuh-go-a) brought Eddy everything she thought she needed to get through college: friends, assurance, colored yarn.  But she would quickly learn that the guild asked a price in return.

Eddy became more and more involved in CGOA.  She began skipping classes and refusing to eat.  She spent all her time with her crochet patterns, sacred emblems in the guild.  One day Eddy completely vanished from the dorm.  The only clue to her disappearance was this photo, taken by a dormmate at the last second.

 The Prysors were devastated.  Rumors abounded and friends and family entreated police to pursue Eddy's captors.  Several false leads led Eddy's supporters nowhere and the search was gradually given up due to insufficient funding and boredom on the part of the police.The Prysors never gave up, say inside sources, they were always said to be "sort of thinking about it" all the time.  Eddy needed to come home.  The family dog was frantic.

10 years later the Prysors got their wish. Eddy was discovered washing windows in Arizona, her eyes glazed over from years of crocheting. 

Though Eddy's story is tragic, yours doesn't have to be.  Stay in groups and bounce all your ideas off people close to you before committing.  Soliciting cults will not pursue students onto high tree branches or through standing water. 

Keep your mind and body safe from cults. Eddy paid so you don't have to.

~ Ben.

Man guys I just can't pull it together here.  I guess the college preparation thing is zapping all my creative time.  Maybe when school starts.

~ben

Carie trudged home from another lame day at school and picked up her guitar-looking instrument.  It had not been a good day.  Carie thought back over her humiliating walk past her crush- the totally hottest guy in the world, Traigh.  He would never notice her, she thought, looking behind herself at the mirror.

Traigh was not the type to waste time with blue dress-wearing, slightly retarded faced girls like her.  If only she could be prettier.  Downstairs, Carie’s parents were talking excitedly.  Her dad got a huge raise today, but Carie couldn’t bring herself to care.  She knew that she would still be mediocre looking and unpopular.

The next day at school, Carie stood around with her usual group of girl-friends as they giggled and talked.  “Like, he’s sooo incredibly dreamy, el oh el,” said Sandra.  “Look at those eyes!” another girl said.  Carie could only stare hopelessly along with them.

A few days later, after Carie's dad's promotion had been published in the town paper, Carie got a huge surprise during math class.  Traigh looked at her.  And then he passed her none other than a note!

Carie's hands shook violently as she read, "Congress of the United States class is so boring, but you're not.  Do you have a date to prom? Circle yes or no.  Will you go with me to prom? circle yes or no".  Carie drew a squiggly jagged circle around the first no and something like an ellipse with two corners around the second yes.  She couldn't believe it, her dreams had come true!

The next week, a new girl came to school, an heiress to some vast fortune.  No one noticed her much, as she was incredibly unattractive and her name only had one vowel in it. Pam. Lame. 

   The day, however, Traigh walked her home and did not try to contact Carie that night.  All the girls were talking.

"OH my gosh, like, who does she think she is totally stealing Carie's boyfriend like that?" asked keekie.  "She's not even it," said another girl.  Carie couldn't join in.  She had gone from very low to very high in a short time and couldn't seem to get depressed again.  She did some researching instead.

  When the heiress moved, Traigh became once again attached to Carie, but Carie had lost interest.  Her super hot physics tutor was a lot more interesting than Traigh and he didn't wear capes. (Carie found that she hated men in capes). Traigh was dissapointed until a wealthy famous person's daughter moved into town.

All the girls hated the new girl, who a lot of people said had a moustache, and they continued being obsessed with Traigh.

Carie's obsession manifested itself studying and screwing the physics tutor, who ended up getting her an A in that class. 

Carie's parents used her father's raise to pay for family trips to Rome to get her away from the physics tutor, and "Perfect Day" by Hoku played during the credits of tonights production.  Everyone was happy except the heiress who ended up living in a small picture-like house with an angel and some men dressed in black.

~Ben

There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area we call…The Twilight Zone....

"Attention passengers, we apologize for the sudden stop in our travels," the announcer's voice crackled mundanely through the overhead speakers.  "We will attend to the technical difficulties and will hopefully have the train moving again in a few short minutes.  While we are stopped please move about the car freely."

"Hey what can you see out there?" asked Ned, a sharp looking, computer technician in a light blue shirt, but his neighbor had already drifted off to sleep.  Frustrated, Ned tried to occupy himself with something else.  He rifled through his carry-on bag, quickly ruling out several items for entertainment.

Finally Ned hit on something that proved slightly promising. 

"No one gets bored with cat woman mad libs," thought Ned.  But something about these madlibs were wrong.  The blanks were already filled in.

Catwoman walked down the stairs to meet her favorite group of Lego Anarchists.

   (plural noun)