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| Man, salvation is easy. Christian living is tough. How come we so quickly forget our former state and start to become entitled to whatever position we are in? Of course, I include myself in this group. Life is too much about comparison. Regardless of what I did "before salvation," in spite of what I do "after being saved," I'm broken. My redemption comes from Christ at every second, as a free gift.
So why is there a competition between churches, pastors, Sunday school teachers, etc. over who is living the more holy life? Where in any of the NT books is it remarked that God will rank us according to how right we get it after we accept His gift. Works never enter into the equation. They're an expression of a change. It's not like we're working off a tab that we couldn't pay before. God didn't give us a new job that suddenly entitles us to higher wages. The wage of all our sins is still death, and He still picks up that debt. In fact, the debt is the same the day we "get saved" as it is month and a half later, when we screw up again. And years later, when we're still not perfect.
It (life) is still about repentance, obedience, and all of that good stuff. A life that enters into this "contract" by faith, not by how long it's been since my last drink. If this is true, if we're all on the same level, then who does what in the church really just comes down to gifting. Forget who is good enough. Who's got the gifts. Who's submitting to the will of God. What is my calling? That's what determines who does what in the church. Forget the rest. God won't allow someone who shouldn't do a job to do a job in His ministry. (I'm not calling for a laissez faire church govt. Just an un-legalistic one) I should know. I wasn't ready. So I was kept out until I got to a point where the word "I" no longer started my sentences as much. I wasn't ready because I was still trying to fix my problems myself. Now, in my cocoon of grace and mercy, God has brought me where He intends me to be. And through His power, I can live in a life redeemed and cleansed by great sacrifice. He can make me a living sacrifice, an example, a means of communication to others who are stuck in themselves. I pray it is so for a long, long time.
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| Without prayer, everything is misguided and half-hearted.
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| Well,
Here I am once again. I decided to begin again whatever this is. There has been a need for a new beginning in many ways. What better way to do so than to erase the records of old stuff?
It's hard to recognize one's own immaturity. Growth is a costly process. At the end of my college career, it is easy to say "If I could do it over, here is what would be different." But reality won't allow for that to happen. A do-over, that is. And if it would, then the do-over probably wouldn't change anything. Because pain and loss are beneficial. Even more realistically, I brought most of the downside of college upon myself. I might get credit for some of the upside.
Now I prepare to enter the job market. If you're reading this, pray for that venture. Not because I'm nervous, but because I want to do it right. I had a fearful epiphany tonight while doing some reading. I would be a senior pastor, if God led me there. I entered college saying "I'm never going to be a youth pastor." That was arrogant and stupid. It's taken entirely too many lessons, and it shall take even more, to teach me that my plans aren't very fruitful. Not to say that I can't do good things. But that I use the word "I" entirely too much. Just read this post. Count "I's." There are a lot of them, I bet. There's another one.
I value the shame and embarrassment. I am thankful for rejection and broken trust. I'm glad for my scorn. I embrace future necessary belittling. I know that wherever I end up, I'll make mistakes and try to say "I" too much. Part of why this is a scary time is that I'm realizing I'm ready to stop staying I so much. I think that has amplified my usage tonight. Irrelevant.
Anyway, here is a parting biblical thought for whoever reads it. Mark 8:27-30. Why did Jesus silence Peter? Because Jesus wanted a secret kept? Perhaps. Because Peter didn't entirely realize what he just said? Probably. Because Peter's concept of a Messiah was free of pain, suffering and death? Because Peter's concept of Messiah resulted in either a glorious military campaign against Rome or a hail of fire to smite the empire? Most likely.
Peter knew he was in the presence of the Messiah, but he didn't really understand what that meant. He missed the point. My whole Christian life, I've thought the disciples were dimwits. They were slow on the uptake. But consider our view of the Messiah.
Messiah = One who suffered and died for us. One who worked/works miracles.
What Peter lacked, we emphasize. Sadly, what Peter emphasized, we lack. Perhaps not so black and white as that. Maybe Jesus the Messiah isn't meant to lead us in war or to rain coals upon our enemies. But I'm sure he's much broader than our definition, and we have been commanded to speak loudly about who He is. That makes us so dangerous if we don't get it right.
Brandon M. Brown
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