Quick update:

I'm here, I'm fine, and the reason I haven't written in the past few weeks is NOT depression (for a change) but distraction, in the form of a new toy.

If you want to give it a look just let me know and I'll send you an invitation.

I'll be updating the main journal soon.

You may have seen or heard news about a Jewish school in Montreal being firebombed yesterday.

No injuries, as it was the middle of the night. But that's the only good part of the news.

They destroyed the school library. They left  notes making it clear that this was related to events in the Middle East and threatening further attacks.

My children attended this school. Only for a year, a long time ago, but they did and I spent time there volunteering.

It's not "just" grafitti and slogans and vandalism, which itself has been increasing. Toronto had some well-publicized attacks of that sort recently, and occasionally synagogues in my community are spray-painted. But this takes it up to another level.

I'm going to have a lot more to say about this, just wanted to get a few words down now.

This week is going better than the last. Much more like myself.

I decided to use this (among other things) as a to-do list.

Tomorrow (Tuesday) I MUST clean out some closets in order to pack stuff up for a charity which is collecting stuff on Thursday. I need more room. More room will make me happier. I know because I cleaned out my sock drawer once and my life was indeed better.

I must also do the bowling stats. Sigh. I always leave it to the last day.

I could start on those tonight but it's already 9PM and my finger hurts. The finger that I use to key in stuff on the calculator. I use the computer for much of the procedure but still use a calculator for some.

In fact it's one of the fingers that goes in the bowling ball, which hurts. I hope I can even bowl Wednesday!

What happened was, I got this new magic mop thingy with a re-usable washable pad. Used dry it picks up stuff you'd ordinarily sweep; used wet it, well, mops. So I tried it out on the kitchen floor, dry, and it worked great but when I went out on the balcony to shake the dust out of it, I tried slamming it against the railing, and jammed the middle finger on my right hand.

I am SO useless around the house.

It's kind of swollen and it doesn't help that I have had a touch of arthritis or tendinitis there for over ten years and it always hurts some to bowl.

They are SO going to laugh at me 

Anyway, so tomorrow is closets and stats plus whatever else.

Wednesday Morning:

Not having the greatest week. The demons are active. I think they know I want to get rid of them, or at least tie them down securely.

Maybe things have to get worse before they get better, who knows... but I'm not worse than last month, only last week.

I'd like to write about it but the words aren't coherent yet. I hope I come up with some by the time I see the therapist on Friday.

Bowling league this afternoon - that usually gets the juices flowing. Whether I want them to or not. Yay inertia...

Friday Evening:

Saw the therapist again - third session.

I always come out of there feeling very up and hopeful. Of course there has to be more to it than that if it's going to work but I think I have a pretty good chance with this one.

He's not my mother's therapist.

Of course if my mother had had a therapist I might not need one now. Okay, that's a stretch. But nobody could put a dent in that woman's certainty that she was right about everything.

The therapist I chose does not go by the book, according to the other therapists I've been to over the years, and according to psychology courses I've taken.

For one thing he lets me run overtime. I try not to take advantage but, well, I do.

It is so refreshing not to be cut off in the middle of a moment of insight because the timer went off. I understand why that's necessary but it's very jarring.

More, when I collect my thoughts. Probably tomorrow.