| I need to kick it up a notch.
Here's to hoping that I knock the socks off some admissions committee. :] |
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I really want this PhD comics shirt! Except mine should probably say "Applications in progress" as well. |
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| Weird things I like to do:
~ map out the route that UPS takes to get my packages to me (based on arrival/departure scans) and try to guess how many days it will take for my package to arrive
~ play package delivery race with my boyfriend and bet on whose package will arrive first (obviously mine because i'm pseudo friends with our mailman "Norman")
I think I like getting packages and tracking their progress to my doorstep more than just buying a gift at a store. The anticipation makes it super exciting when the self-present actually comes. I'd like to think that the guys who drive the huge trucks filled with packages across the country feel a little bit like Santa Claus.
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And I was just about to take a nap from homework when I saw this. :/ |
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| Sometimes people make predictions about your life that they think are nice normal comments like "Oh I'm sure you'll get into this program" or "When you guys get married/have kids/whatever...". And it makes me really really nervous because I feel like they're inadvertently jinxing my life with their happy thoughts.
I think a big part of it has to do with expectation. I'm scared of expecting good things to happen because I always feel like such an idiot when they don't. When asked about things that are actually really important to me, I try to act noncommittal and indifferent. I hate making big declarations that might not come true so I always tell people that I'm sure the worst will happen instead because I'd rather be surprised than disappointed. Maybe I lack confidence. Maybe I lack faith. Maybe I'm just an incorrigible pessimist.
But that's not true at all. The truth is I hope. I hope all the time and for too many things. I try desperately not to be the girl who lets everyone know that all her eggs are secretly in one basket and she doesn't have a back-up plan. But it doesn't matter. Because even if no one else realises it, all the pretty daydreams that I have about the future linger in my sleep at night and refuse to be dismissed. I'm that ridiculous girl who hopes and dreams and wishes for the silly things she can't say out loud.
So please be careful what you predict or promise or act like is a given. Because once you get me thinking that way, its going to be so much harder to accept disappointment. |
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