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StephanieJ73
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Name: Stephanie
Country: United States
State: Texas
Metro: Houston
Gender: Female
Interests: Reading, writing, travel and occasional arts and crafts
Expertise: Traveling in style... my style, that is.
Occupation: Writer
Industry: Technical/Marketing
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
6/17/2002
 Lifetime
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| I've been a blogging slacker, but I haven't had much to say. Though I have been doing a bit more - shock, horror! - actually writing in a physical journal. You know, with a pen and everything.
The job I got a while back ended up not working out, so I'm on the job hunt again. I was a bit amused yesterday when I got calls from not one, but two recruiters about a position they thought I'd be a good candidate for. It's the same job - the one for which the boss decided I "wasn't a good fit." *sigh* Hopefully something else will turn up soon. On the plus side, one of the recruiters is with a company I've tried to make contact with before and had no luck, and the recruiter was impressed enough with my resume that she asked if she could contact me if they get any other projects or jobs that I could be a match for. I figure the more work-related contacts I have, the better off I'll be.
I still miss my dog, but at least I'm not crying every day like I was at first. At least it's not weird to be at home and not have him right by me, but I'll be glad when I can think of him without having waterworks involved. I know I'll get there at some point - life goes on and all that - but I do wish it would hurry up. My fuzzy guy deserves to be remembered with smiles instead of tears.
Other than that, my life is just a bunch of eh. Hence the lack of updates here - hell, I'm bored by my own life; I don't feel all that inclined to bore others with it as well.
Happy All Hallow's, everyone, and enjoy the extra hour of sleep tonight if you get to Fall Back.
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| Now if you're feelin' weary
If you've been alone too long
Maybe you've been suffering from
A few too many
Plans that have gone wrong
Well don't try to remember
How good it all used to be
Well don't try to remember
How good life used to be
Because that was the river
This is the sea
Now you say you've got trouble
You say you've got pain
You say've got nothing left to believe in
Nothing to hold on to
Nothing to trust
Nothing but chains
You've been scouring your conscience
Raking through your memories
Scouring your conscience
Raking through your memories
But that was the river
And this is the sea
Now I can see you're wavering
As you try to decide
You've got a war in your head
And it's tearing you up inside
You're trying to make sense
Of something that you just don't see
Trying to make sense now
And you know you once held the key
But that was the river
And this is the sea
-"This Is the Sea", Mike Scott | | |
| I had my dog put to sleep yesterday. He wasn't finding any joy in his life anymore, and I couldn't keep him here out of my own selfishness.
I feel far more alone than I probably should do. I miss my furry, four-legged shadow. I know, I just know, our paths will cross again in another time and place, but in the meantime I'm going to miss him like crazy. | | |
| It's not my fault my dog is sick. It's cancer's fault.
The vet said he'll probably make it another week at the most.
I'm devastated. | | |
| My dog is sick. And it's kinda my fault.
How awful is that? Now I'm not one of those people who say my dog is my child, but he is as close as I'm likely to have any time soon. As guilty as I feel about my dog being ill, I can't imagine the levels of guilt parents can end up with.
My Cheyenne isn't a young dog, and he's been getting arthritis for a few years now. He's gotten to the point that vitamins aren't enough to help his joints, so at his last check-up, I got a script for a pain medication for him. Well, he hasn't been eating for a few days, and he got to the point he wasn't moving by Saturday. Turns out he's gotten massively anemic - to the point that the vet starts talking about a blood transfusion. I'm thinking that this is from some damage from his fall a couple of weeks ago that I didn't bother having him X-rayed after. Cue massive guilt. We start with getting his chest X-rayed to see if it will show where's he's losing blood from.
The X-rays came out clear for the most part. No big tumors causing a bleed, no blood pooled in his chest cavity. Current best guess is that the arthritis pain meds have caused lesions and/or ulcers in his intestines, which is apparently a possible side effect they have. So he may have fallen because he was weak from anemia. And if he hadn't fallen, I might have paid more attention to the fact that he was being kinda lethargic, but I chalked it up to pain from his leg. Sadly, I hadn't been giving him the pain pill every day before he fell, because he seemed to be moving around well enough before. But once he got hurt, I was religious about giving him a pill every day.
Now he's off those pain pills (he's got another one from the leg injury that I'm still giving him), and getting a medication that should help heal any lesions in his intestines. Plus he got some liquid vitamins to hopefully help bring his red blood cell count back up. I just hope I didn't wait too long to get him to the vet, and that this is, in fact, the way he needs to be treated. I think he's got a bit more color in his tongue today, but his gums are still really gray.
It's possible that it's not the intestines causing his trouble. The X-rays did show a lot of "nodules" in his chest cavity around his heart. They could be benign, or they could be cancer. None of them were very large, and none seemed to be in a particularly life-threatening spot, but they're still a concern, at least for me. It would take more (expensive) testing and such to see if they are cancer, and I'm not sure I'm willing to do that. Even if it is cancer, I'm not going to put my poor dog through treatment - he's almost 14 years old, those nodules are awfully plentiful, and I'm willing to put him through a lot of probably painful procedures that will confuse him. I just want him to be happy and comfortable for however long I'll get to have him. Of course, I want him around as long as possible, but I'm not going to put him through a lot of crap to try and cheat what nature intends.
But I still feel awful about the anemia. Though it would have been nice to have been warned about it as a possible side-effect of his arthritis medication... I'm almost positive they didn't mention it when they gave it to me. Okay, I could have looked it up, but it never even occurred to me to do so. But you can bet I looked up the new stuff they gave him. | | |
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