THE END

I cant believe so much has happned in just one year!!!!  I cant believe I almost settled for mediocrity.  Im sincerely happy I did not end up with Jon.  I'm sure he says the same thing.  I'm happy he is with some other person.  We were not meant.  As I was not meant to be with my other ex bfs who I cried oceans for. 

All things happen for a reason.  Relationships fail because you were not meant to be together in the first place.  Love and marriage should feel good.  It shouldnt be forced.

I dont regret anything tho because looking back I realized how much I've learned a lot.  And I guess now, I am a much better person.

 I only logged here again to revisit my whining days...I cant believe I was such a whiner hahahaha...

My gosh I was SOOOO negative.  I pity my friends.  I thank them too for bearing with me all these times.  If I was my friend I would leave me for all my whining.  That is why I attracted so much negative karma.  I was asking for it.

Life is all good now.

I have no complaints.

I can sincerely say, as of this writing...Hey, I am happy.

This is where I get off the ride...

I cant believe that after all that is said and done Im actually afraid of getting married.

I dont know why since im soooo old already.

My mom thinks its bec Im such a career woman who ironically is spoiled rotten to even take on the responsibilities of a wife and mom...well true...

 I dont want someone entering my life just to be a burden...

Im so used to the fact that I only have to worry about myself...and my mom...

I would have prefered someone who will worry about me for a change but my fiance is such a baby....its odd.  I get this feeling I'll be so constricted id feel clostrophobic....

Anyhow, lets wait and see...

Darn this biological clock

Another Twist in my Oh so Complicated Love Life

After all that has been said and done...yes I finally found "The One"...

He is sweet, lovable, thoughtful and charming (totally my type in the looks department).

My only problem then was he didnt have any savings.  I always wanted someone who can make me quit my job but I thought, at least he is not stingy.  Ive been through that and it stinks to have a scrooge for a partner.

I said, well ok, I have to work but no problem as long as I have a loving partner.

Then I met the family.  They were quite warm.  The dad was quiet but I thought that was typical of guys.  The sister had a strong personality but again I thought, well at least not rude like the others I met in the past.

Ok so here is the kicker. 

His family is forcing us to get married thisDec already.

I was totally shocked.  I mean, I know Im excited to tie the knot but Dec is too soon.  We are barely on our first month together and we're talking about marriage already.

What's even more nerve racking is that his mom is looking for wedding suppliers already.

Ok ok calm down.  Maybe she's just too excited.

But what really made me think was how his mom and sister reacted when he told them that we decided that if we are going to get married its going to be next year.

His mom said, if she wants to get married next year tell that girl to pay for the wedding herself.  HUH!!!!  I mean the mom was so nice to me at first, I cant believe she will say that.

The sister then blurted out, if she does not marry this Dec as we want, then we do not like her and want her in our family.

All my excitement now has turned into fear.  I dont want his family to decide on everything. 

If they can demand like this for something as personal and important as a wedding then what more on simple things  when we get married.

I love my bf...He's been nothing but wonderful.  But now Im in a quandry.  Should I give him up bec of this?

The Stampede in Ultra

I was there stuck in traffic at 12:30 am.  I was so pissed at all the rude drivers who tried to counterflow at a 2 lane street when traffic was at standstill.

It took me an hour from Ultra to Metrowalk....that would normally just be just a 5 minute drive...So imagine my frustration and anger!!!!

My cousin said that the boat looking moon flares up emotions and  is a sign of bad things to come.   And that night the moon was exactly that.  Imagine that night, a stampede that killed a lot erupted, an Egyptian boat sank and killed thousands and the guy Im dating stormed and raged at me in public.  That was all before my tantrum over the traffic.

I rolled down my window as i passed the thousands of people along Ultra and asked what all the commotion was about.

"Anniversary po ng Wowowee"

Wow people were there camped out for 3 days hoping they would be lucky enough to win in this tv game show.

Made me think how sad and poor the Philippines is.

Sad too how people rely on luck rather than work for a living.

More sad at the thought that while the camera was showing the corpses piled along Ultra people around it were waving hoping to be seen on TV - just shows how self centered and unsympathetic people are here in the country.

As I watched the relatives of those who died cry their hearts out on TV, it made me recall how mad I was at something as petty as traffic when other people have more problems...

Tsk tsk..I still hate traffic tho!

The Fear of Unemployment

My company has been acquired by a bigger telco.  Now there are a lot of redundancy...first wave of retrenchment we were told is on the 10th.

Please pray for me.  I  dont want to be unemployed.

If I can stay here for 10 more years I would.