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barrrrista
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Name: Holly
Country: United States
State: Kansas
Metro: Lawrence
Birthday: 11/19/1979
Gender: Female
Interests: God, family, friends, coffee, hacking into my friends' blogs, Halo, music, in depth emotional discussions, travel, occasional reading, painting, art and art history. Essentially most nouns.
Expertise: Coffee, crosswords, sleep, movies (scene it), board games, talking, being fabulous, music (the old stuff...like we're talking periods, not rock 'n' roll), being a 'good girl'...I could keep going...
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  barrrrista
MSN: barrrrista
Member Since:
12/10/2004
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| Hello abandoned xanga. I am leaving you now...forever. We had some good times, but we all have to grow up someday and start posting on a grown up blog site. That time for me is now. http://overextraction.blogspot.com/ see you all around! Holls-signing off | | |
| Did you ever have one of those weeks where EVERYTHING SUCKS? No matter what you do to stay out of trouble all you find is trouble?
Yeah, I'm having one of those weeks hardcore.
:(
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| The Soul-Toter-
Arguably the most complex of the customers. They are more than just
customers...they have become regulars. They are as much a fixture in
the shop as the trendy sofa. In fact, you wonder if they really do
think that your trendy sofa is indeed the centerpiece in their very own
living room as they seem to bring their baggage with them everywhere
they go. You may have known them for years or only a few days but you
probably know more about them than you do your grandparents, as they
tend to open up/verbally vomit rather quickly due to their rather
daunting false sense of intimacy. Nothing is sacred to these 'special'
people, as they have told you things about medical procedures, online
relationships, or spousal arguments that you would not even admit to yourself. Most of them
suffer from a case of megalomania coupled with varying degrees and
manifestations of control issues. One fairly common approach is the
'One-Upper' mentality in which only they could possibly have the utmost
authority on any experience in life. Example:
You decide to throw them a bone because you are having a pretty good day.
Barista: "Yeah, I was just walking along and I looked down and there was a friggin $20 bill. It was awesome"
Soul-Toter: "Oh, that happens to me like once a month."
You're having a not so great day and you are just trying to vent a little to a listening ear...perhaps overheard by them...
Barista:
"So I was late to work already and driving along and all the sudden I
heard a clunking sound and realized that my tire had blown"
Soul-Toter:
"Oh I had the same thing happen once only it was actually two tires and
my cell phone was dead and I was on the turnpike 15 miles from the
closest toll booth"
Essentially it is as though your experiences in life don't
count and are minimized/negated. And you didn't even ask. The barista
becomes almost instantly disenchanted with this variety of consumer and
finds artful ways of dodging their array of personal problems. This
means very little to the Soul-Toter as they are like lions after pack
of gazelles, retreating to the lush canopy of a newspaper and an
overstuffed arm chair to observe their prey. They sniff out other
customers looking for a weak one to pick off....to separate from the
pack and trap in hours of 'conversation' which to them is defined as
them talking and the other person generally nodding their head and
darting their eyes around for an escape
*. With severe cases customers
often deduce the make, model, and color of their car and stake out the
shop for the presence of the Soul-Toter. With the worst of cases it
might actually effect business. Other monikers for this type of
customer are the 'Ally Sheedy" and "The Monty". Close relative to the
"Creepy Close Talker"
*The endeared customer
will sometimes be rescued by the barista who "needs help getting a box
off the shelf in back" or some such other reasonable falsehood that
will give them a believable out. | | |
| The journey continues.....
The Slow Change Artist- Quite possibly the cruelest of all customers. They start out friendly enough. They generally smile and have the best of manners. At times they come off as timid and unsure. They lull you into a sense of security before they rob you blind. Unlike the 'short change artists' that confuse you and then manage somehow to steal a certain amount of cash, this clever foe is only interested in one thing: stealing your time. They start by asking simple questions like "how are you today?" giving the impression that they do indeed care and move into a diverse array of inquiries about the menu (most of which are described on said menu <-----for you Nads) and take a bit of coercing to find a good fit drink wise. They are the type of customer that will ask what flavors are options and then have you actually list off every single type of syrup that you have to offer. After this point, some of them will say thing akin to "What would vanilla and coconut be like together?" to which the easiest response is a simple "pretty good" accompanied by an interested nod of contemplation. After they decide on all the options (skim or whole, caff or decaf, etc) the fastest part of their transaction is actually the drink preparation itself. When the drink is finished they pull out their trade mark moves. If they have been properly identified for what they are (a slow changer) then the barista with cunning will have attempted to give them the total for their purchase prior to making the drink in hopes that they will be ready by the time the beverage is finished. This is an adept maneuver but rarely pays off. It will take between 1 and 3 minutes for them to get their monies together, as many of them seem to have about 4-7 places they stow their cash on their person.
An encounter with the Slow Change Artist generally occurs when something is in the oven and you are working by yourself. They are so capable of becoming endeared to the barista from the original point of contact it is rarely possible to work up the nerve to excuse yourself for even a moment at the expense of coming off as rude. They are generally female between the ages of 50 and 75, bringing in the 'how would you treat your grandma?' factor. This, indeed, is their greatest asset.
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| So, where did I leave off? Oh yeah....disdain for fellow man.
Well, well.....who to describe next. I was inspired earlier in my shift by a customer who just came in only 20 minutes ago.
The Opinion-Challenged Customer (OCC)- This customer flies below the radar until they choose to open their mouth. The moment they speak they give themselves away with 4 simple words : "Is the <insert product name> good?". It seems a relatively harmless question but it serves as an omen of murky waters ahead. Not only do they not seem to realize that they have just asked a 'yes/no' question for which the answer cannot (under the laws of retail) be 'no', but they also are indicating to you that they have no idea what they really want. They will generally spend at least 3 minutes looking over the menu (usually allowing approximately 2 customers usurp their place in line) and then finally commit to a disappointing hot chocolate (sometimes ordered as a chocolate steamer). Usually these transactions are a bit trying on the mental accuity of the barista because they are racking their brains to find a way to answer questions in a fashion that won't make the customer feel like a complete idiot. In many cases this customer will transition from being the 'OCC' to the 'Quizzo-Matic' (coming soon....).
I have to finish closing as this has been an annoyingly steady shift.
So sad
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