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| "All I meant was I don't think couples are the future. You need more than that. You need backup. The way I saw it, Will and I both had backup now. It's like that thing he told me Jon Bon Jovi said: 'No man is an island.'" - About a Boy
I love people. I love meeting people, finding things in common, seeing a friendly face on the street and waving hello or goodbye.
Now back to studying for finals.
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| The list is both a blessing and a curse. It is taped to the wall above my desk. The paper it is printed on is slightly heavier, commanding attention from the reader; the official letterhead reflects when held up to light, and I can trace the slightly raised design of the seal with my fingers. The list seems to have had the effect of amplifying all emotions. On good days, a quick glance at the list makes me smile and conjures feelings of relief, satisfaction, and - dare I say it? - accomplishment. On bad days, just the thought of it provokes more stress, anxiety, and disappointment. I sit in the early hours of the morning, hunched over and staring at incomprehensible symbols and blocks of text. In the harsh, artificial light the text and numbers begin to blend together, and suddenly I'm tired, my head hurts, but all that doesn't matter because I can't see through the oncoming flood of tears. I've got to stay on the list. I've got to stay on the list. I've got to. So I push on.
How can something so good spawn so much frustration?
-------------------------------------------------------------- What I've Been Listening To: Headlights - Some Racing, Some Stopping (Whole Album); but favorite songs: Get Your Head Around It, Cherry Tulips, January Stars - Nightsongs album (but especially My Radio, both mixes) Slumdog Millionaire Soundtrack
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| ...how in the still of the night things become perfectly clear. How the muses suddenly strike and you are able to write with the fierce earnestness with which you've always wanted to write. Sometimes you're in bed, other times you might be studying and let your mind wander to the meaning of life, or at least the meaning of your life thus far. No matter; the fact is that suddenly, all the pieces seem to fall perfectly together and anything and everything seems within reach. With that knowledge and crystallized understanding, you finally stumble across the truth, and with that truth you can live.
It's really too bad that this clarity often fades by the time the sun rises. So I write, in the middle of the night, hoping to capture some of that truth, hoping to savor some of it before the dawn breaks...
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| This semester is by far my HARDEST SEMESTER YET!!! Ahh!!
P.S. Check out Headlights - they're an awesome band.
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| One thing I have learned this semester is the power of a story. I realized that that's what much of the world is -- storytelling (which, as a professor I know often says, is the second oldest profession in the world).
There are stories everywhere in life. They can be found in news reports, personal statements, and job interviews. Even the final powerpoint presentations we make for TBG are narratives; we're telling the story of a company, and how to solve one problem that the company has. Every single slide must contribute towards the ending or to the overall narrative. The secret to good essays or personal statements is that they're well told stories that are focused on conveying a point and building a strong narrative theme.
Thinking of the world as an anthology of millions of stories helps because it simplifies people into characters, happenings into plot points, life-altering circumstances as moments of catharsis or redemption or a completion of the hero's journey (remember that?). And life would be so much easier if we could pinpoint the antagonist, differentiate between our true love and the character that's just a distraction or a step towards the real thing, or if we had the power to read that convenient summary on the back of the book so we know what we're getting ourselves into.
So tell me a story. I can't wait to listen.
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[update: Dec 2, 2008]
In the meantime, Thanksgiving break is over and WOWZA, finals are around the corner!! I'm almost in near-panic mode but the problem is that I've got loads of catch-up to do while still recuperating from my Sunday night/Monday morning writing spree.
Tonight I rediscovered Stars. I find that sometimes I listen to a song often just because it's auditorily pleasing, but in the process gloss over the lyrics. It's not until later that I stumble upon the lyrics, when I usually have a newfound/renewed appreciation of the song because it's now lyrically and musically compelling.
Such is the case for two songs, "One More Night" and "Sleep Tonight." I'll close this entry with a verse from the latter song. I hope you read, even though most people tend to ignore reading song lyrics...
With buried heads we both forget
All of the past and its regret
Wind picks up, the window shakes
We won't hear the morning break
You will cry
And I will cry
Cuz all the love's
Alive tonight
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What I've Been Listening To (not much variety lately, just listening to Belle and Sebastian over and over again...)
Belle and Sebastian - I'm a Cuckoo
Belle and Sebastian - Asleep on a Sunbeam
Belle and Sebastian - If She Wants Me
The Pipettes - A Winters Sky
The Pipettes - Judy
Band of Horses - Our Swords
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