Saying Goodbye to You, Mel

Melanie Bethelle Miller

May 7, 1994 - February 24, 2008

Dear Mel,

         Simply put, I love you. I wish so very much that I would've made more of an effort to show you that love before you were dying, but I know that, even though we had our "moments" that aren't very pleasant to remember now, I know that you loved me and you knew that I loved you. Part of me wishes that you were still here because I miss you something awful, but I know that the things that you are experiencing now are so much better than anything this earth has to offer. Still, it hurts. Life can be so cruel, angel girl. What would we do without a God who loves us?

        It brings tears to my eyes to thing of all the things that you are going to miss, there's so much that is going to be missing from our lives because you can't be here: at Christmas time, birthday parties, vacations, you know. But I know that somehow, you'll find a way to be there. Oh, maybe not so that we can see you, but we'll feel you in our hearts. When I'm with your family at night and they sit down to sing together (just like old times) and I hear that there is a missing part--I'll think of you. When I wander into your house on a boring summer afternoon and the piano sits silent--I'll think of you. When Lauren, Joey, & I are sitting up in their room on a quiet night and there's no knock on the door followed by a voice that says, "Guys, can I PLEASE come in?"--I'll think of you. For the rest of my life in those quiet moments that should've been filled with you, I'll, for a moment, think back and replay memories of a beautiful little angel who taught me more in eight months than I've learned in my entire life. I'll think back and remember a fiesty little girl who was determined to win in every area in her life. I'll think back and remember that silly little grin that was always followed by uncontrollable laughter. I'll think back and remember a girl with the voice of an angel and strength like an experienced warrior...Mel, I'll remember you...--we all will--and the miracle God showed us through you. You taught us faith, love, and demonstrated courage unlike anything I've ever seen. Mel, you touched more lives in eight months than most of us will ever touch in a lifetime. I know that the miracle (physical healing) that you were praying for wasn't given to you quite the way you asked, but He still gave you your miracle that you prayed so earnestly for. The Great Physician did something that the doctors here couldn't do for you: you were healed when you ran through Heaven's gates into the arms of Jesus. The ultimate healing, your miracle.

       So as this letter comes to a close and I have to say good-bye, just one last time I want to tell you that I love you and thank you for the memories. I'll treasure them for the rest of my life. I can't wait to see you again so we can sit down and talk like we used to because I have so much more to say....soon, baby, soon. I love you, angel girl...(we all do)

With all my heart,                                           

Les                                                          

Currently Listening Strong Tower By Kutless see related

Because im bored...& (surprisingly) have nothing 2 say....

PICTURES!!!! from the hospital w/ a few random comments from ME

this LOVELY bunch of ladies came up 4 laur's bd last

wk...we had ALOT of catching up 2 do...lol

The "Queen" & I --just look @ her cute lil' smile...awwww

Got carrots? We do...Lauren got a brainstorm about wanting 2 diet while we were up there...i told her she was crazy...but i decided 2 support her n e way...lol j/k

This would be A.J. Kirk alias--our entertainment for Laur's BD party...he's like a yo-yo fanatic or something...he's competed at the World Yo-Yo Contest somewhere in Europe & he got like 3rd or something (not that ne of u'all care i thot i'd just tell u 4 what its worth)--for those of u who do care---if u type his name in on youtube some video clips will come up of him doing his thing (yo-yoing)--no, i didn't kno it was an official sport either....

This would be me & Mr. Yo-Yo...there is a very LONG & embaressing story behind this picture...notice i'm trying not 2 die laughing...

AWWWWW.....this is my fav pic of Mel...i think i surprised her when i took this pic...her eyes kinda popped & i caught it perfectly...lol---o and the thing sitting next 2 her is the BD present that i gave Laur...its a really fuzzy hedgehog named Horton (we had a big arguement over what the hedgehog's name should be---it was between Horton and Merle...i won lol)

This pic is really gross if u can c wut it looks like im doing--don't worry, things are not wut they seem 2b lol...if u can't see it, first of all look at Mel's tube that goes in2 her nose...then look at my mouth...(this was NOT my idea)--lol, that's wut i call "natural suction"...haha...i guess these r the kind of things u come up w/ if ur bored lol...

This would be Laur & I trying humor the photographer (Joelle)...notice our drastically different facial expressions...

THE END!!!!

Another day, another turn of a page of the story of my life...(sigh) what a day...for some odd reason it felt like a blur...thanx so much 2 all the girls who came up 2 the hospital 2day 2 c us...it meant sooo much...luv u'all so much & i miss u guys already!!! A bunch of our fam. came up 4 laur's bd 2nite...we had sort of a makeshift party...lol--we couldn't fit Mel's bed in2 the "party room" downstairs, so we had 2 have the party in the hallway...lol it must've looked halarious...we haven't actually worked up enough nerve 2 try out any of the things people have suggested 2 help us occupy our time---tho we did come up w/some of our own--this afternoon Lauren blew up one of those plastic gloves and tied it like a balloon, we used it 2 play volleyball-that served as entertainment for Lauren, Jana, & I for about 10 min...eventually we got bored and moved on to other things--like trying 2 stuff ourselves in2 "little tikes" police cars(ask lauren)--i told her she needs 2 lose weight---OOO i kno something "halarious" that happened---there is an Amish couple staying 1 room down from Mel's room...well the staff @ the hospital have not quite caught on to the fact that there is a difference between Mennonites and Amish, well one of the nurses comes in Mels room holding up an Amish "apron" that i guess they pin 2 their dresses, the nurse asked Lauren & i if we had dropped our apron outside in the hallway...we politely told her "no" and then when she left we promptly died laughing...& now that i write that down it doesn't seem as "halarious" as it did @ the time, but i'm gonna leave it ne ways--for what it's worth...Mel was awake all day 2day...she was singing & talking 2 every1...its so awesome 2 have her back 2 "normal"...other than all of that, 2 day was sort of quiet...which gave me some time 2 think (something that i don't do very often)...i dunno, the rest of this update will probably sound like some sort of an essay, but i really want 2 say all of this anyway...I feel like i've been taught so many things in the last few months...i used 2 believe that beauty was defined by what u looked like--how u dress, how pretty u are, etc...I used 2 believe that strength was defined in how well u hid ur emotions, or something like that, but these last few months, both of those things have been redefined for me...see there's this little girl lying in a hospital bed right now...she's one of the most beautiful people i've ever met...she's one of the strongest people i've ever met...she's on my list of heroes...but her beauty isn't defined by her outward appearance, her strength isn't defined by her ability 2 hide her emotions...everything about this little angel goes against what i used 2 think beauty and strength were...She's beautiful because she cares about others and puts their needs b4 her own...i can't tell u how many times when a few of us were in her room...her pain would be 2 much for her and she'd start 2 cry or gag or something...she'd always say, "Sorry, guys, sorry"...she wasn't concerned about her own pain, but about the rest of us who had 2 watch her...She strong because she keeps fighting even if it seems she's lost the battle...she keeps pushing on, praying and believing that God will give her a new body...so now when i think of beauty, i no longer think of a beautiful model on the front of a magazine, when i think of strength i no longer think of someone who has their emotions under control, now when i think of those 2 things...a new picture comes 2 my mind---a little angel with no hair lying in a hospital bed, singing "I'll Praise You In This Storm" 2 herself, a little angel who won't give up on life even if it seems 2 have given up on her, a little angel who prays first for the needs of those around her b4 her own... that's beauty....that's strength...Melanie, you continue 2 amaze me, baby, every day as i watch u up here---ur smile, your songs, everything u do--i love u so much sweetie...i continue 2 pray, along w/everyone else that knows you, that you will one day be healed...but until then, keep holding on 2 Jesus, He's holding on 2 u...

Wow...i guess i got a lil' long winded...im not sure where all of that came from...i'd write more, but i'm like crazy tired & i have 2 get up early (that was an order from Melanie)--she says that we were 2 late in getting over 2 the hospital this morning & she wants us there BEFORE 11:00am--yes, she's definitely back 2 her normal self again...lol--she's such a cutie...ne ways, i'd better start walking up 2 my room b4 i fall asleep @ the computer...miss u'all--*keep praying* (i kno u are)

                                                      *Leslie*

ps. BTW--i wanted 2 do some type of a "Happy Birthday Update" in honor of a very special girl who i admire, but i don't have any pics up here @ the hospital...so i guess i'll just say Happy Birthday, LAUREN!!! *add a very loud wohoooo!!!* 

ps. 2--LEAVE COMMENTS--THEY R MY ONLY SOURCE OF ENTERTAINMENT--lol

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