[rage 2]

so it has been a really lazy week, with maria away at camp, charley has been lapping up all the attention, which has been nice..i've been making great food (of course) to go with the gin and the weather has been too nice to even contemplate working in, although i have to work tonight and probably all weekend (damn it). right now i am all a bit blurry and sick, but i know that will pass and come 1 o'clock i should have my hangover working for me. right now charley is dressed as zorro (black nylon all in one, belt with 2 swords in it and hat - no mask, but i am only practicing dad....) doing power rangers moves in the garden...i cant really move, i am attempting to drink so much coffee that my body will go into reverse spasms and i might sleep again...
last night we watched Punch Drunk Love . It was great, i nearly cried, it almost got me, really inventive skewiff unbalanced movie. Everything is just wrong in it, you are never really sure what it is that is wrong, it just is, a bit dirty, broken and off kilter...this is counter weighted and pulled off by great acting, direction, writing and soundtrack, a really inventive use of samples that define particular characters and moods, the entire movie is underscored...really special...is paul thomas anderson capable of making a bad movie? He really gets it, and i love his films, they always have such an atmosphere and consequently are a pleasure to watch, and this has got adam sadler in it (see inner rage below), who i am not particularly a fan of, but he manages just the right amount of pathos and endears as he comes across as being so touching. Tired, lonely and abused by his seven sisters..."you remember when we called you gayboy..." is just the beginning...he seems lost, and on the verge of self inflicted autistic behaviour.. he calls a phone sex line in despair and it all starts to go wrong,. PTAnderson takes the love story and chews it up, making you really have to think about what might be...it is filled with great lines; as adam and his love interest (the superb emily watson)are lying in bed looking at each other in the dark, She says,  "i love your face, i want to bite your cheek, you are just so cute.." he replies with "i love your face, i want to smash it in with a sledgehammer, i want to smash your fucking face with a sledgehammer and squeeze out the lovliness..." classic.

[rage]

i love films, i love getting things for free, i am a bit of a pikey, lets not forget it... Yesterday, i took young charley to see his film of choice; spy kids 3-d, at our local multiplex. Now i am a fan of these films, i love the fact that they are totally geared up for  and aimed at children without being patronising. it was good to wear glasses and emerse myself in the 3-d section of the film, needless to say it was filled with post modern awareness, excellent touches and fun. but i do think the glasses are rubbish...i just hope its the last one, it was better than jaws 3-d, that was the only other 3-d romp i had seen, and that was just woeful...More fun was to be gained though from walking out of that screen and then straight into the hulk which was just about to start...what a gypo...i know...but value for money and satisfaction of my cine addiction were in order...charley got so excited, he thought it was hysterical... there is a moment when you first walk through the doors, crossing over that threshold...nerves take hold, adrenalin pumps through you, am i gonna get chucked out...my son will know i'm a crim, he'll lose all respect for me, i'll end up at the park drinking white lightening and playing chess...and then you realise that noone cares...years ago when j. and i first met we would often go on two day drug and alcohol fuelled benders, leaving us with sunday to try and get it together, one of our favourites was to go to the multiplex for the first showing of a film, then just stay in there all day, crossing over from screen to screen, massaging our messed up brains with irrelevant pulp action fodder to try and stimulate us back from the depths of self induced retchedness...oh mcdonalds strawberry milkshakes helped alot as well...anyway hulk was great, i really dont know what everyones problem with it has been...yes he does look abit like an angry shrek, yes he does wear swimming trunks, but its about inner rage, and mens demons innit....i loved it, the comic book pacing and editing were fantastic, it also has some genuinely fucking scary bits in it, i mean really quite scary...my son was less scared than me, but you know, he doesnt know yet that mutant dogs really do exist, he still manages to think its all fantasy and not real at all, what a wake up call he's gonna have...ang lee is great, i love him, plus he got hulk to say "puny human" i love that...puny, what a word....

[away]

god
it feels like i have been away for ages. summer school was odd...i liked it, but at the same time if it had gone on another week i imagine it would all have got a bit nasty. you know as relationships develop, and the superficial veneer starts to crack, the group dynamics would have become more difficult to tolerate...god i'm so tactful
my favourite part was the set meal times.
i love regimented enforced eating schedules.
massive refectory.
hundreds of people.
fake flower table decoration.
institutionalised.
polite.
four hot items for breakfast.
can i have....?
carrying trays.
sitting with people you dont know.
fascinating.
some people havent got a clue how to eat, let alone eat in public.
they just go right ahead, unaware/not caring that someone might be watching.
great.
some people cant even hold a knife and fork properly.
i dont know.
anyway, t'was a week filled with much study/singing/stuff
i'm sure i changed some peoples lives.
its a good job i was there for them, thats all i can say.

[last minute]

  this coming weekend i am off, away from my wife and children, off i tell you, where are you going i hear you ask...to manchester...oh yes, manchester. i have a week of summer school with the o.u. and i would be lying if i told you that i was all but a little nervous, what am i going to do? i'll get a single bed in a cell, i'm going to be made to join in, i know i am...dont do organised activities, and they are bound to have them...all in the name of good will and how to get to know each other, oh god, as i think of it my skin crawls, barbershop quartets, and karaoke. mind you i can always buy some whiskey and skulk off by myself. i bet i have to wear a fucking badge as well, yes this is my first name...fuck off. .
anyway in true ferris style, there have been few posts this week because i am trying to get upto speed with the set books, consequently all my spare time has been filled with the thoroughly engaging g.b.shaw, the not so endearing greeks, and eyre turned inside out . joy and fun....
as a treat i am going to get the first series of possibly the best thing on the tele ever to take with me, you know just to watch, on my laptop, in my cell, thats after i have eaten my watery soup and passed my waste bucket through the hatch, oh and counted out the five steps forwards and five steps back as my exercise...no i wont tell ya who gave me the coconut, not me , i aint no grass....