I know I've griped a fair bit about this whole acting thing (maybe not on my blog, but definitely to anyone who's asked me) but I'm the sort of person who always manages to feel grateful for everything that happens, no matter how stressfully worrying or thoroughly draining or painfully infuriating. Because, from past experience, I know that nothing is ever 100% negative. Along the way, something good always manages to pop up and brighten my day.

So what's been the good that has come of my participation in MERDEKA: The Rock Musical?

There are the things that never would have happened if I had never joined. I got to know (and in some cases, deepened friendships with) the wonderful people in the cast, discovered the flaws in and have thus (hopefully) improved my singing, learned how to play the guitar (only basic chords for now, but I may continue learning after the production ends) and yes, I suppose it must be said that I've continued to grow as an actor (even though acting's still not my thing).

And then there are the things that might have eventually happened anyway, but got shoved right into my face as as result of my involvement in the musical. I brushed up on my website-building skills, did some artwork that I'm honestly quite proud of, had that artwork printed onto a polo t-shirt (which I will definitely be wearing for everyone to see), gone exploring around the hidden streets and alleyways of the city centre and finding some awesome shops that I never knew existed, tried out a new hairstyle (not sure if I like it yet), started eating as many clementines as I can shove into my stomach everyday, and have fallen in love with Defying Gravity from Wicked.

And look! Here's the video (from the 2004 Tony Awards) that got me addicted to it! Too bad I didn't catch Idina Menzel in her run in the London production. Curse my lazy, sedentary ass!!! T_T

Ah well, at least I can watch her on video over and over and over again.

Wheee~!!!

But anyway.

Good things have happened, and I am grateful. Yayness.

.

Two and a half weeks left to opening night!

Two days later, it will be closing night!

And then I can finally get on with my life.

~billy~	walao
~billy~	y u disappointed and frustrated/
timothy.	hrm...ppl, things, events, myself
timothy.	it's just one of those nights lah
timothy.	feeling crappy
~billy~	reli..
~billy~	share wif me la
~billy~	what happen
timothy.	well, just now, i was sleeping on the train back
timothy.	and when i woke up, the first thought in my head was "shit man, what is the point?"
timothy.	like, i dunno what i'm doing liao
timothy.	or why
timothy.	unlike when i was younger, when i did things because they mattered to me
timothy.	ya
timothy.	like that lor
~billy~	i see..
~billy~	heh...its okie la...
~billy~	its good sometimes to sit down think of these things
~billy~	i think this is how we mature
timothy.	hehehe
timothy.	maybe
timothy.	i think i know what to do to put the meaning back in my life
~billy~	heh
~billy~	what do u think u should do?
timothy.	i think i'm done with acting
timothy.	i will do my best for the musical lor, follow what marcus wants
timothy.	then after that, no more
timothy.	go back to things that are more important to me
~billy~	yea..
timothy.	one and a half more months
timothy.	hehe
~billy~	yea
timothy.	thanks hor
timothy.	i feel better
timothy.	^^
~billy~	heh...i didnt do anything la#
~billy~	i juz thought of wanting to talk to u
~billy~	glad it made u feel better
~billy~	:)
timothy.	aiyah, you cared enough to ask lah
timothy.	=D
timothy.	so how was your night?

Maybe. I really do think drawing's my thing. But there's still a month and a half left, before I can breathe freely and really know for myself.

I'll see how it goes.

.

In the meantime, check out the websites I've designed. =D

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: My life is one giant, unfinished mess.

It's true!

I find something fun to do, and once it gets about halfway done, I abandon it and run off to do something else. Take now, for example. I have just spent 8 hours watching all 11 episodes (that's all there is so far) of Heroes.

Which I decided to do in the middle of reading Volume 3 of Fables.

Which I decided to do in the middle of colouring Nang's Kenshin pic.

Which I decided to do in the middle of designing the Merdeka section of the KCLMSS website.

Which I decided to do in the middle (well, actually, after only a single page) of learning my lines.

And when did I decide to start learning my lines? Two weeks before the start of my holidays.

Oh, but here's a better question. When must I finish learning my lines? Two weeks from now. And better yet, two weeks fom now is also when I'll have my mid-sessional exams! XD

So, yes. My life is one giant, unfinished mess.

And I LOVE it.

And so it's happened again. School starts, and I disappear off the face of the Internet (mostly), only to return in the holidays to write crappy things on my blog. Yay!

Lately, I've been wholly immersed in the fantabulous world of FFXII, but I feel obliged to say a bit about what I've been doing for the past three months. Well, apart from school (and for the record, the workload seemed a lot lighter this term), I've gone and got myself involved in a few things that seemed really interesting at the time, but now I realise I might be in waaay over my head. ...Which, actually, might also apply to school and the whole medical profession thing, but it's still too early in the game to know for sure. Anyway, um... I'm currently designing and managing the King's Malaysian & Singaporean Society website, and I'm taking that really slowly, so not much is done yet. And I'm also in a musical, which is a whole other headache (and a whole other entry) altogether. And in between rehearsals and horribly long train trips to school and back, I managed to catch a few good movies (The Prestige, Happy Feet), watch a few great gigs (Dresden Dolls, Christina Aguilera) and have, on the whole, a bloody great time eating tons of good food and hanging out with my friends. Oh, and I did go clubbing once, on Halloween, and that was a blast. XD

But now that it's the holidays, I can finally unwind, relax and catch my breath. Take myself out of the routine of school-train-PS2-dinner-PS2-bed-train-school and focus on some other things instead. Find some time to think.

Yeah.

Y'know, I've changed quite a bit over the past few years. I don't mean it in the sense that I've had a horrible, drastic personality shift or anything... It's just how I choose to spend my free time. Yeah, I know it's a weird thing to be thinking about, but this has been bugging me for a while. Casting my mind back to the SG days, I used to draw, like, all the time. In lectures, during breaks, at home, on planes... Seriously, all the time. And everywhere I went, I brought my trusty sketchbook along. (Plus a case of colour pencils.) And when I sat down to draw, it felt absolutely magical. I had ideas, which gushed out of me like water from a tap. Sure, the execution left something to be desired, but it didn't matter (a lot) that my art was crap. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and I loved the finished product all the same. It made me feel happy and contented, like nothing else ever did.

But since the end of JC, my drive to draw gradually died down. First, the sketchbooks got used a lot more rarely, and after a while ('coz I was too lazy to get them out) all my art was created digitally. Then sense of fulfilment I got from drawing became less and less powerful as well. And, worst of all, the ideas started to fizzle out. I would sit with a piece of blank paper (or a blank screen) in front of me and stare curiously at it, and absolutely nothing would pop into my head. I'd fiddle around with some lines or shapes for a while, but always ended up scrapping the paper or closing the window, and then moving along to do something else. And here I am now, finding myself thinking, 'What the hell happened?' No matter how hard I worked on something, or how challenging it was, or how great the rush was upon its completion, I couldn't seem to do even one picture that meant something to me. And yeah, I still draw these days, when work requires it (website or poster or programme designs), and I do like my art, but somewhere along the line, the magic snuck sliently out the bedroom window and eloped with its boyfriend.

And that's not the only thing. Many things that I loved doing, and practically filled up my life - reading manga and webcomics, browsing through DevArt, organising my massive Winamp playlist, blogging - hold no great attraction for me now. They've passed me by, and have been replaced with gaming (on my PS2 and Gamecube), acting and watching movies on my computer.

Right now, I'm not sure what to do about this. Should I accept that change is part of life, and let things continue to roll along as they are (even if I'm starting to regret ever attempting acting or website design)? Or should I try to reclaim what I've lost, stick with the past for a while and see whether I can grow to love it again? Because I really do miss it; finding out the latest goings-on in the Naruto universe, checking through my list of awesome webcomics everyday to see if something new has popped up, keeping track of the stupid and hilarious little things that happen in my life and writing them down as they happen...

And drawing.

God, I miss loving drawing.

Okay, so I got back from Paris, like, a few days ago. I'll make this post short and sweet, so I can tell you about my spiffy new haircut! ^^ We spent most of the first day traveling, only getting to the hotel at 8 p.m. The hotel was really nice, and we had a bunk bed!!! Me and my sis were fighting (tooth and nail and blood and gore) for the top bunk, but in the end we were forced into a compromise and had to alternate days on it.

The whole of Day 2 was spent at Disneyland, where I bought a bunch of stuff! (Can anyone guess what my favourite part of Disneyland was? XD) On Day 3, my dad drove us all around Paris, where we gawked at tons of landmarks and snapped hundreds of pictures. (No, seriously. Hundreds of pictures.) It was cool and everything, especially since it was a nice, sunny day. Day 4 was spent in Versailles, roaming around the gigantic gardens. But not the palace, 'coz it was closed for cleaning. And on Tuesday morning, we hopped onto the Eurostar back to London.

The End.

.

Now for the haircut!!!

I've had medium-length hair for a while now... Maybe a year? ...And a half? Well, whatever. In any case, I thought it was time for a change. A hack-all-of-it-off sort of change. So, now that you've seen me with my longer hair in the bunk bed pics, I can show you the shocking contrast. (Um, ignore the eye-bags and oily skin. I'd just been out running around all night.)

      
Woot!