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| After a long stint here, decided it was time to move | | |
| Hello everybody!
Before I begin with anything I really want to apologise to all the friends I've neglected while studying for A levels. Of course there's no excuse but... yeah. To be honest I'm afraid this might have caused some irrepairable damage to my social life but I'm not sure. Haha. So to all my dear friends, and I shall not name names because I'm afraid I'd leave people out, very very sorry. :(
On a much brighter note the exams have ended!!! Feels a little weird, as the thoughts at the back of my head still persist to nag me. But no matter, I'm sure the feeling of being truly free will eventually settle in. No intention to look back on the last few months (some bits I'd preferably want to forget), and every intention to kick back, relax, and of course, do a few very important things.
Let me share some of the things I want to do before I go onto this little boat to be confined on a certain little island.
1. Watch movies!
Haven't had the chance to watch many this year, and the list of films I want to watch keep on increasing. Hope to be able to stay indoors with something comfortable and chuck those dvds in.
2. Get a Wii (so sorry clara, it's not releashed in Singapore yet- BTW! when are you coming back? :) )
It's about time Nintendo got a break. After a decade or so languishing at the bottom of the console game, things are finally getting better for them. I've always been a fan of their superbly designed games, but not their n00b marketing and lack of acumen which really makes many of their great games go unnoticed. With the Wii, I'm pretty confident they'll expand their horizons and not only win over new fans, but disbelievers too. (: Anyways, point is I'm pretty excited about the new-fangled control system and the promise for good, clean, fun.
3. Attend a lot of concerts/gigs!
The last major music thing I attended was Baybeats which was really quite good. (: Anyway, the idea is to completely indulge myself in music. Also, alumni band too! Decisions, decisions...
4. Spend time with friends and family
Secondary school friends, cj friends, angela, mel (if she's coming back), clara (when she comes back), tj friends, family... Ack. So many people I don't know how to divide it out.
Well! That's about all I can remember for now.
Anyway people, I think I may be moving blogs soon. Will post the address here so you can link there. (: Cheerios. | | |
| Woooohoo! Managed to sleep early yesterday which was really satisfying. Probably had to do with history which totally shanghaied my brain. =_= 3 hour papers tend to do that to you... Anyway with every passing day and every passing hurdle I feel the end coming. Next week's going to be the bulk of it, then, as dear Edmund put it "can go and play basketball and DOTA!!!". Very encouraging thoughts.
I think the biggest relief is that maths is over and I'm pretty decent at the rest of my subjects so... yeah. Shouldn't be too hard... Just need to focus and do my best. Will accept results graciously.
This seems to be an ever present distraction though. | | |
| I made a mess of my GP essay but did tons better for compre, so I'm predicting an exceedingly mediocre performance for GP. Not exactly a tragedy, more like a swift kick to the balls to wake me up.
In desperate times, you realise how small and powerless you are.
And alone.
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| Confusion is nothing new.
Feeling extremely muddled at the moment. Feeling an increasing difficulty to express myself properly. Either the thoughts and feelings I'm having are getting too jumbled or I'm just plain confused. Yes, confusion shall be the buzzword for today.
Attempts to order thoughts will follow.
Currently it's 12:00am and I'm still awake, which is unusual for someone like myself, who (until very recently) has no problems sleeping. Can't seem to lull myself into a state of rest when my mind is constantly assaulted with random thoughts I need to vocalise. It's almost as if I'm in a constant state of monologue, except the voices tend to be really loud and disconcertingly incoherent. Not the kind of incoherency that's a comfortable drift from random thought one to random thought two.
Exhale, and let it all out.
What I'm feeling is terribly generic, though I myself find it hard to describe properly. Mixture of fear, anger, empowerment, delirium, and disgust. I'm not too sure what exactly are the proportions but the ingredients are all there. Confusion probably stems from my inability to understand how exactly I'm feeling, and grapple with 'emotions'. I'm such a living stereotype aren't I? The emotionally illiterate male. Like Othello, who dies at the end btw. Likewise I'm approaching this with stubborn resignation, which is another undesirable male attribute.
I am not what I think I am?
Uncertainty breeds confusion. | | |
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