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directors_chair
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Name: ånïL
Metro: Manila
Birthday: 3/9/1987
Gender: Male
Interests: It's not just the glitter and the glamour
It's the feeling of satisfaction...
Expertise: If I can't do it...IT CAN'T BE DONE! =P
Occupation: Artist
Industry: Entertainment
Message: message me
Yahoo:  anil_ratanchandani
Member Since:
1/4/2005
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| I will not ask forgiveness for writing this entry, besides like what most people say "ITS MY BLOG". And since I believe the people reading this blog are mature and responsible individuals, they will know that this temporary emotional release will not affect my platform in any way. =)
Anyway, elections is over, and yes...the biggest challenge of my life has opened its door and welcomed me into a humble journey of endless possiblities. Yes, I won. As much as I did expect it, and wish for it to be just a mere mistake of statistics, I did, and more than I expected. (As to some people make up the statistics to make people feel better....in Tapat, we dont. You dont lie to your members, most especially to your candidates and your mandate.).
I have to say, the campaign changed my personality slowly, well I still am bitch, just a more considerate and patient one. It pains me to not be working with the exact same people I worked with in the campaign, however it also fills me with excitement to see that for the first time in my life I will actually be working with people who are not from my party. (If some people out there would like to infuse politics into the assembly, fine, be that way, as I know you'll be attacking me with numerous claims of partisanship *if you even know what that reallly means*, BUT, the quality of the program should remain as quality as it can be, and we dont have to be friends if you do not desire us to be, i just want a clean working relationship). Yes and I will be partisan, in a sense that I will let the platform reign, because that's its real meaning, so yung mga maninira sakin using that, WELL...barado nanaman kayo, just like what I did during your q&a with your petty planted questions.
OO, Im so pissed. This week was full of smiles and congratulations....most were even plastic, only a few of my friends from the other party were very sincere...inaaway nyo pa sila pag magkasama kami (tsss family). Just stop it okay? Stop saying, its not about the winning, or its more than just campaign and elections, what matters is this or that or whatever. All the drama. It's soo bickering. Like KIDS. The name of the party you ran for says so much of your organization.....you say you believe in the students, bla bla bla...same old thing you say every year. BUT WHEN THEY SPEAK WHY DO YOU REACT LIKE THIS?
If you really "share" the voice of the students, if they dont speak the way you want them to. Then you remain silent. Instead of trying to console yourself with "Its okay" "We fought a good fight". It's an obvious consolation. It really bothers me thats why Im writing this. And a friend of mine...or should I say a former friend of mine calls me "a joke?". Well, 197 students think you're bullshit.
I came into this fight because I didn't have to base my platform on my love for the college, nor did I base it on the love for the people in my college. That's a given. Its all a matter of knowing what your college can do for EVERYBODY else. Call me a bitch, mataray...whatever....tssssss. And go, keep on consoling, keep on blabbing on how the students dont deserve just a TAPAT leadership. True enough. Because its not just the students, but the Filipinos deserve a TAPAT leadership (that's idealism, thats platform based. and thats why students believe in voting tapat because they are smart). We dont think you guys party like crazy....coz we can party harder. We just see that your definition of quality is obviously on a lower level of our definition. Student's rights? Yesterday, a "leader" from your party who won didn't even know what student's rights is. Manunumbat pa. And by the way, we overheard that leader saying that your party will still be in control no matter what. WOW yan ba ang pinaglalaban niyo? CONTROL OVER YOUR MANDATE? Kami pa ngayon ang mediocre leadership?
Before you judge my service, at least let my term end. You can judge my personality all you want. I know you guys will provoke me...coz thats how low you guys attack. LOW LOW LOW. Talk about even targetting Sari's grades...ehem...I wouldn't talk about grades because....sino hindi pumapasa? (EB?) YUN NA YON.
And im still saying this because Im a REAL person. I dont have to SUDDENLY change my image, or COME OUT OF NOWHERE and start running for SC. (I dont just mean this year..lalo na yung coming from nowhere na yan! last year...wow shocker.). Dont laugh at me because you were shocked that im running, at least I myself have proven to be of service both in the sc and for my party because its FOR the students and the country. Kaya partisan, kasi plataporma hindi personal biases (tapos hihirtan nyo yung mga inaapoint namin, sorry ah, eto kasi yung mga NAGTATRABAHO, Im sure you can name A HUNDRED shallow projects you guys have done, like what? pillow fights? but I mean business. sorry).
With the coming of this year, I will not judge the people I will work with it. Because I believe it will be unfair for the students. And we are here for them, because I would like to believe that they voted for what they believe they deserve. BUT IF I FIND OUT THAT I AM BEING LEFT OUT FOR THE SAKE OF RUINING MY PARTY'S NAME IN THE COLLEGE. I WILL KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND YOU WILL DIE. =)
To Edge 05 and Bianca - I may not be your friend, most definitley not your expected CAP. But I would like to ask you that we put our differences aside and ensure the students the effectiveness of our assembly. You dont have to like me, if you really dont. I wont judge you guys, but at the end of the day, our college is first. And I know you guys can and will do your best to achieve what your batch really deserves.
TO THE HATERS: What can I say? It's all been said and done. THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS RESPECT ME AND THE PEOPLE AROUND ME. THEN THAT WOULD TRULY BE AN ACT OF EXCELLENCE. Or is that too much of a challenge for you? tssssss
directors_chair
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My Doll Collection
My beautiful set of pink dolls
Staring at me all proper and prim
I cuddled one in my arms, for a wish to start the day
instead I was wounded, as if shattered to the floor I count, 1, 2, 3, to 6. The number of curls
of my still companion
6, dreadful and miserable
it spells betrayal by word of mouth My dolls were gifts that never spoke
It's words are cursed in silence, for if they speak
their talent would be to betray and fickle loyalty.
a partner in the beginning, a regret in the end Its material, hard and tough
plastic; strong and visible
The warmth of its smle, pure deception
plastic from inside-out. It will never lay on your bed alone
It needs someone of its own, or someone to fool
It can never keep a vow of silence for
Its job is to please
And all of them keep dancing
dance; to the sound of the mourning wolf
that with every change of their dress
the fall of the black tears
symbolize their eternal burden of embarassment and shame
I look at the dolls and they reflect regret
indian giving treachery and selfish complexities
winning the game of crying babies
breaking the name of kings as they listen to the music of rattlesnakes. directors_chair | | |
| To the one who has hurt me until now...
Autumn is here inside my heart
When there's springtime in the air
Loneliness is tearing me apart
Being lost makes me scared
I keep on asking the gods above to send my love back to me
Please let these days and weeks; Pass by so quickly
Nobody suffers like I do
Nobody else;
Nobody suffers like I do
Nobody else; Certainly not you
You had to leave, I know
And we knew it would be tough
You said you would be back soon
Soon is not soon enough
Through this waiting in vain
All this darkness and pain
I've been crying for you, no
I'm dying
When this test is at the end
I hope you'll understand
That you're all that I've got and,
Nobody Suffers like I do
Nobody else...
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Smiling...Its funny how I can just say that with confidence. Yes Im smiling, a power smile at that. I have never met people this amazing...and never felt this blessed since the start of something unpretty. Yes the term didn't go well for me...okay my grades are pretty good..but the other things? Not really. Although after spending time with beautiful people, I realize the joy emptiness brings, you know what that is? The feeling that you are once again being filled with something nice...*sigh*
I can't say Im fully content with whats happening, but it just feels different. Its like the rain poured and I grew into someone else, not coz people told me to, or coz I felt like I had to, it just came naturally....things do happen for a reason....and this one is when I can say that He gave me a new reason to smile.
I mean, its funny how you can just talk about new things and just
feel happiness overflow, like you are actually connecting, not increasing the complications in life, learning how to trust, keeping a sound mind and slowly learning not to decide in situations wherein you're unsure. Also, you get to realize the mistakes you've repeatedly done in more ways than one. Then look at each other and just laugh about it, inhale the south breeze, sigh and just say "I feel better now...". You see, its not just about the little things anymore, its when you dont feel akward its when you dont ponder, its when dont give off a fake smile, its when you dont always feel like you're at the top, its when you dont break people, its when you dont try to make things pleasing to JUST you, I really dont know, I can't explain it. All I know is, it just feels nice to smile and mean it.
I finally can say hello to the walls of my new classroom. Where learning is a step-by-step process, and grades dont matter. Yes, we whine now and then, but hey, look at the other side of the mirror , you can't be that SHALLOW all the time. Most of the time you need to be open-minded and view life in a larger perspective, rather than just looking at it as laughter and hugs. Learn to stand together, and at the same time, learn to stand alone. Its nice to make decisions for yourself and just yourself. Its nice to learn when to cross the border between friendship and selfishness. Its nice to adapt to new things...its nice to be able to trust people, and most of all its nice to have 12 children and 2 sisters to give you a reason to smile everyday...
...this is life...you just have to learn to accept it....smile...its nice...=)
directors_chair
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| Wool
Lonliness once again clouded my thoughts
standing in front of the light, I cried
Fading...gone
I fell;
Masks caught my fall in the images of blue
the light is gone, yet I was still there
meaningless...alone
pondering and thinking, they came
Flocks of sheep;
and I wasn't alone anymore
the kindness, wools of comfort
I suddenly felt in my skin
Their purpose in my goosebump touch
tears fell as sunrise came upon me
darkness drifted away...then
reflections; children, my children
I smiled...
directors_chair
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