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familyjah
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Country: United States
State: West Virginia
Birthday: 4/28/1974
Gender: Female
Interests: It's not a "hobby" but I am first and foremost a teacher and preacher of Jehovah God. I love going from house and house and door-to-door sharing Bible truths with everyone who will let me :)
I also enjoy writing poetry and songs, whistling, singing, playing computer games and participating on cyber message boards.
Expertise: Jehovah's Witness-- Though I'm not an "expert", it is the most important part of my life...
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  xyleisha
Member Since:
6/24/2003
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| Hello everyone...
Being the completely unpredictable person that I am, I am once again
leaving cyber-space... I am begining to feel really uncomfortable
being on the web (probably, most largely due to warnings from the
F&DS)... Plus, I am spending wayyyy too much time on the
web.... And it has slowly dawned on me that I seem mostly to want a
"sounding-board" instead of a friend/s... I need to be AROUND
people more, in the flesh- instead of retreating into my own little
circle of virtual safety.
I am turning off my internet connection completely... but I'm not going to be completely gone...
About once a week or so (maybe every other week) I'll go to my hubby's or to the library and check my email.
I should be able to be reached, by email at:
xyleisha@witnessesonline.com or
xyleisha@hotmail.com
I hope everyone has been well, has been enduring and keeping close to Jehovah.
Agape, hugs, and endless prayers,
-April- | | |
| Okay everyone... I'm having a bit of an identity crisis lol  So, I now have 2 personalities 
Most of my posts are moving to http://www.xanga.com/skin.asp?user=xyleisha
I'm in need of a change and a stronger connection to the reality of my faith...
I have to go grocery shopping for now... but I shall be back later.
Agape,
-April-
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| Average mood= cylcing between 3ยน/2 and 6
Meds= 200 lamictal; 10 propranonol; 10 Lexapro; 20 Strattera
Diet= 1 honeybun; 1 Orange Creme Yogurt; 1 Dr. Pepper; 1 Diet Dr.Pepper; few life savers
Health= nauseous
Special:
Nothing
Break Down:
Study= zip for now (about to start around 1AM
Ministry= nada
Family= poor
Associate= pathetic
Clean=
horrendous (I've been busy cleaning but the kids majorly trahed the
place last night-- I stayed the night with my hubby and I guess they
stayed up until dawn-- my oldest fell asleep and the younger ones had a
blast- but the cleaning will be finished tonight as well)
Exercise= great
Recreation= poor
Groom= great
Total Sleep= 13 hours
Quality of Sleep=great
According to Wal-marts scales I am 105 pounds; according to hubby's I'm 100 pounds... but I *feel* like I'm up to 110-116.
Anyhow, hubby thinks I'm fat. I know he's whacked in his brain
when it comes to matters of weight. He likes 90 pounds delicate
women... not only have I put on some pounds, it seems to have traveled
mostly to my butt and thighs lol... but my arms are slightly muscular from moving around my furniture around as often as I do and carrying stuff around...
All of this came about as we were laying down to sleep and he was
somewhat emotional, saying I've changed and he wants the old me back
and yadda yadda.
So I laid there thinking about developing an eating disorder or abusing
diet pills and wanting a little bit to give into my SI nonsence, yet I
was trying to comfort him...
In his defence, he has been running around since 2 Thursdays ago going
to that action and running around with his eBay buddy and he was
UTTERLY exhausted... but what's weirder is it seems he had some sort of
disassociative moment... he felt bad about what he said and apologized
and everything, but ever since I had first arrived he said I smelled
unusual-- like bananas or something and something else... all I was
wearing was my "Intuition" perfume. As he apologized he said he thought
the smell triggered him-- that I just smelled and felt like
someone different.
I find that most interesting...
But ever being the pleaser and chameleon that I am, I'll take off the
weight and get into my delicate mode again... I don't mind.
Like I said, I think it's interesting. I got a little upset, of
course and mostly I was angry but for the most part, I feel like a
shrink with a very difficult but fascinating patient.
He always surprises me and not only in bad ways; not in good ways
either per se, but in interesting ways. And, of course, I'm
conciously and subconsiously building some serious resentment and I
know that will occasionally turn into anger that I'll have to watch--
but that's just human nature, I guess...
I guess I've ranted and rambled long enough... but needless to say,
there will be no more honeybuns for me which isn't bad cause I need a
healthier diet anyhow lol
I hope everyone has been well and has had a great weekend so far...
I know I've been neglectful of the blogs of all my cyber-friends so I'll catch up on some of them tonight as well....
Love and hugs,
-April-
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| Thanks for the comments TK, Tyler, Reggie and Chris 
I LOVE CSI, but it'll be a month or so before I try to sweet talk my hubby into season 3 
I'm going to try to talk him into getting me a small fridge first 
I need to start locking up some of our food before my children explode
from overindulgence... they wake up at the weirdest times and just help
themselves and make horrible messes as they do so. They're
actually beginning to keep stranger hours than me, which is kind of
scarey lol!
Average mood= 5
Meds= 20 mg Lexapro; 200 Lamictal; 10 mg Propranolol; 20 mg Strattera
Diet= 4 honeybuns 
; 4 potatoes, fried with onions (my oldest boy made them and they were
actually quite delicious though the greese is not agreeing with my
stomach now  ); about a dozen life savers, 3 Dr.Peppers...
Health= antzy; nervous; somewhat upset stomach
Special: I'm going out to eat with my hubby and one of his friends in about 30 minutes (now that I'm completely full lol)
<>
<> Break Down:
Study= 0
Ministry= 0
Family= fair
Associate= poor
Clean= disgraceful
Exercise= fair
Recreation= over-indulgent
Groom= yep
Total Sleep= 5 hours
Quality of Sleep= fair
I am out of rubbing alcohol and it's driving me bananas... I'm addicted
to using cottonelle hand wipes, but I pour some alcohol over
them. It's a habit mostly from anxiety instead of OCD-- similar
to a cigarette without being bad  ...
the more stressed out and axious I am the more I like balling one up
and keeping it in my hand to twiddle with until it dries out... then I
get another one.
It's very interesting to me, but I know a few people who are
germaphobes and worry about other people getting them dirty...
I'm just the oposite for the most part... When I get all icked out and
feel compelled to wash up it's because *I* feel like I'm dirty and
worry about icking out other people (even if I'm crystal clean)...
I wonder if I could learn something useful from that lol
Gotta run for now... I have about 10 minutes now to get ready to
leave. I just hope the kids dont tear down the house while I'm
gone. Ray's old enough to babysit them, but I still worry and now
that our phone doesn't work I'm going to worry even more...
-April-
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| Meditation:
Clothe yourselves with... mildness.-- Col. 3:12
Do I keep in mind Prov. 25:15, combining pleasantness w/ power?
Do I continue cultivating mildness as a fruitage of the spirit?
Am I meek & gentle, not only in words, but inwardly as well?
How can I improve?
Mood: 3AM=6
Meds: 3AM=20 mg Strattera
Diet:3AM= 3 slices plain bread
Health: headachey=3, but fine
It's too early for the rest so far lol
I have been well these last few days... I'm still grinding my teeth
(and having no bottom teeth is TRULY torturous against my bottom
gums!!) and I'm still biting the inside of my cheeks... ???
Don't know what's up with all of that, but it's driving me bananas and
has been contributing to some pretty nasty headaches.
I have 2 more episodes of CSI to watch before I finish Season 2... then
I have to try to sweet talk my hubby into treating me to season 3
I'm just now prepared to send out my eBay payments, though they've been
in envelopes for several days now (and I've had the money orders for at
least a week)... I don't know what my prob. is this time.
The bids were for teensy amounts ($9.00; $15.00; $1.99<>)
From now on I'll just give my hubby some money whenever I want to buy
something and I'll let him get it seeing how I'm totally irresponsible
*GRRRRR*
It is almost 3:30 in the morning and my daughters are STILL fighting
sleep... I can't wait for school to start back up so we can get back on
a half decent schedule again...
Oh yeah... and my telephone hasn't worked since Thursday. We've
had a lot of rain so my phone lines been staying drowned... I
hope that's the only thing wrong with it!!
Anyhow... I better get off of here and get some cleaning done wile I'm half-way motivated.
-April-
I snagged the above from a bipolar board I participate in... isn't it hilarious?!
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