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fiery_aeon
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Name: fiery_aeon
Country: Malaysia
Metro: Kuala Lumpur
Gender: Male
Interests: being lazy
Expertise: Gaming, cold jokes (hahaha...not funny...*sigh*), bumming around, type fast (roughly 60+ words/min), crapping, laugh like sakai, miscontrolling a football
Occupation: Student
Industry: Computers (Internet)
Message: message me
Member Since:
7/22/2005
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| Some of you who don't watch anime probably don't know. But some opening and ending songs in anime are really good. Here's a meaningful 1 from Zero no Tsukaima (Zero's Familiar).
Title: Hontou no Kimochi (True Feelings)
Artist: Kugimiya Rie
1st stanza lyric
Iriai Mahou ni Kakatta Mitai ni
As if caught by a magic sunset,
Kono Mune ni Yakitsuita Mabashii Egao
my heart is etched by your bright smile.
Dakedo Au Tobi ni Tsuntsun tsumeta Fushi shichouno
But everytime we meet, I approach you with a pointy tone
Naze Dare yori Kini naru no ni
Even when I am concern over you, more than anymore else
Ijiwaru wo shichou daro
I just have to tease you....
Hontou no Kimochi Setsuna no Kakera ga
My real feelings are hidden deeply in my heart
Kono kokoro ha ichiban oku Kimi wo Yonderuyo
With a fragment of pain, calling for you,
Zero kara hajimaru hi wo
To a day where we can start from zero...
Well you have to listen to it and read the lyrics to appreaciate it though.
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| Quantum physics, particles smaller than even an atom, theory of existence. I've been interested in such theories lately. The theory of timespace, if time is the 4th dimension, then what if for every second in time, there are uncountable dimensions/spaces? A 5th dimension? As the theory goes, if I roll a dice, and I get a one or two or whatever roll; there will be another timespace where the roll was another number. To put it into perspective, isn't it just similar to the theory of infinite possibilities?
I've always wondered myself. What if there was a me that excelled in studies? Or a me that was a star sportsman? Or a me that is a billionaire? Or a me living in poverty? A me suffering in an era of war and destruction? The possibilities are countless. As it were, there is a divergence of possibilities/timespace. There might be similar possibilities, but they will not be 100% the same. So if this theory would to hold true, then wouldn't it be very much possible that, anything can be changed if one so wills. However even if the 'me' of all the timespaces were to desire and work at the same dreams or goals, this does not mean that the timespaces will have a same ending and converge. After all, I'm not on a 1 man planet.
(More later, going out for awhile.)
Continuing, erm actually I lost my train of thought. Anyways I've always wondered about this. In relation to this, if possibilities are infinite and diverging. Then which is the real 'path' or if you like 'destiny'? Are they all real? Or are they all illusions? Is there a 1 and only? Or it sticks true to the concept of infinite possibilities? Since the possibilities are infinite, then there is a possibility that anything you can think of will happen, be it within or beyond reason, context of the governing physics, or whatnot.
Here comes the important part now, what or who determines which path you continue on? Again, since the possibilities are endless. Anything and anyone can make a difference. When you think about it, its rather scary isn't it? That's why they always say 1 small mistake can create a disaster. A ripple on a pond can propagate outwards endlessly if the force was strong enough. Hmm...enough about dizzying possibilities I guess.
Just a thought, ever felt like your life is so unreal? Ever wake up from a dream and ask yourself if you are in a dream in itself? Ever experienced countless feelings of deja vu or "I been through this before", "I've seen this before", "this looks familiar"? I for one have, so therefore I always wonder. I question my own existence itself. There's a theory that goes "what we ascertain to be existing, is real and existing because our own existence is confirmed". But what if you doubt your own existence? So many what ifs. *sigh* Melancholic isn't it?
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| Haven't you ever noticed that the older you get and the longer the time intervals between your class/college/whatever reunions are that you tend to hear the kind of comments you garner from your various ah gong, ah poh, aunties, uncles, parents' friends, etc? I'll give you some scenarios to compare.
Scene 1: Matt is 14 years old and is at relatives place
Aunt 1: Aiyoo Matthew! Never seen you 1 week and you grown taller already! Really like your father la. (this is something I'll never understand. If I don't look like my parents, then gg loh -.-')
Mum: Yala shooting up like a beanstalk. Runs in the family la.
And the annoying buzz of how fast I'm growing never ceases till I decide to remove myself from the immediate vicinity I deem unhealthy, at least not to my ego. (overboost of ego is bad)
Scene 2: Matt is 20 years old and is attending a "class" reunion/gathering of.....some 10+ people of which 1/3 of them are not actually from his class (pfft)
Friend A: Wah Matt izzit my imagination or have you grown taller? I feel so short! So tall la but so skinny. (the "oh you're so tall" comment doesn't seem to grow old for them apparently)
Other comments include how you always look the same and do you have a gf/bf, etc. To be honest, though commonplace certain comments get old really fast. Especially:
A: Eh you got gf anot ah? I heard you got gf wor. (from some phantom source)
Me: Where got la nobody interested in me. (all too true but still after been asked the same thing N times my eyes start to roll every time I hear that same question.)
In any case, we had a class reunion this Wednesday that comprised of some 10+ people of which 1/3 of them are not actually from our class. (did I mention that earlier?) It was the same old routine of asking about studies, got other half or not, how's life, etc before moving to any topic we can think of which are usually rumours and gossips in nature. And who told you only girls are good at gossiping? It was great to see some people again, talk a bit and just forget that we are in our early twenties (gosh I feel ancient already) with mountains of responsibilities and just savor a little get together like old times. Appreciate such events, they don't come so often nowadays.
Times like these make you feel nostalgic don't you think? I've always felt that getting away from high school into college, like I always wanted back then, wasn't nearly as fun and enjoyable thing as I thought it was. Fact is, as the years rolled past and we all slowly begin to move our way further into the big world outside, more and more things come and you wish that you were still back in the years where your life was a lot easier. But then if that were the case, mankind will never advance and improve, no?
I think I really need a long break. I've been bogged down by all those assignments, projects and tests that I often feel that I don't have any breathing space. Now that everything is slowing down, I really hope I can get the exams out of the way and enjoy my holidays, however brief it is. I think the most important thing you can ever learn from having all your time taken from you is that, you learn how to appreciate what little time you have, and the things and people around you. Don't you think so?
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| Well as per title, I'm back I suppose. To tell the truth I've lost my motivation and enthusiasm to blog. Mostly because all it seems to serve is as a place for me to talk to myself, and I do that on my own free time enough as it is. Hardly anyone ever bothers anyway but thats normal.
Just a quick update then. I've been seriously bogged down with assignments this semester. The majority being individual assignments served only to make the workload even heavier. Suffice to say its been a rather energy sapping and demoralising semester, simply due to all the things that have happened and some other miscellaneous things which I really don't wanna talk about here.
I suppose you could say that after it all it'll probably be a very satisfying experience to see everything work itself out the way it should but life is never that simple eh? Something always comes along and just decides to unravel all you have strive on or simply knock you from your perch, be it a temporary rest or a triumphant stand. Victory can just as soon become defeat, or rather should I say happy moments don't last long enough for you to have the courage and endurance to go through the tougher times in life.
In any case, (I drifted off topic again >_>) assignments were killing me. Thats all gone now though, but it surely came with a hefty price. I gave up commitments in many areas just because I couldn't cope with everything together anymore. I gave up trying to attend EVERY Sunday's football game because I didn't have the time and I couldn't stand the hypocrite who constantly told people to come and be on time but is never on time and always fong fei gei.
I'll say it out loud and I'll be honest with what I've been able to observe after so long been outside of the comfort and innocence of secondary school. Some Christians are the Biggest LIERS, HYPOCRITES, and BIGOTS I've ever seen in my entire life. Talk about irony there. I saw myself becoming 1, declaring 1 thing with my mouth but never acting it out. I decided its time to stop. Its either hot, or cold, I'm not gonna be some lukewarm dumbass hypocrite. I live for myself, thats what I really do and I'm not gonna lie and be a hypocrite just to please others.
I also quit my administrating and game master post on a certain server. The stupidity that I see everyday along with my college work and the heavy duties I have there contrive to force me to make decisions like the 1 i just mentioned, and so I dropped my post there. I now have just myself, my family, my friends, my beloved computer, and a more relaxed life. No more living in hypocrisy, no more stupid extra commitments, no more.
Its all 5 assignments down, 5 tests gone. [sarcasm] All I have now is just 1 test, 3 presentations, and 2 exam papers. Thats all ma, no biggie what. I'll just probably die from this. [/sarcasm]
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