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| man. not even updating once a month now. that's a real lack of dedication. but to be fair september was unusually busy for me. i made a dress for hillary. i found an apartment. i am moving in 2 weeks!
i'm not really sure what else to say.
i went to see this band japandroids a week ago. i saw them on thursday, and it was so awesome that i went back for a show they added on sunday. i have really come to love the mercury lounge as a venue. it's small, they keep bringing bands i like, and tickets are always super cheap. since may i have seen cut off your hands, those dancing days, the START, and japandroids twice, all at the mercury lounge. i feel like i'm forgetting a couple.
so i'm moving to bushwick. which is totally where i belong. that's where the cool kids live. and since i'm so completely awesome, it's like a biological imperative that i move there. seriously though, i wanted to live on the L line. that goes straight through bushwick, williamsburg, and across 14th st. in manhattan. it's like the perfect line. since most of the things i go to are either in williamsburg or below 14th st.
the building i'm moving in to is completely new. i will be the very first tenant in my apartment. and all the appliances are brand new. and stainless steel. which is so much cooler than the boring white appliances i have now. i am very sad to leave my giant bathroom. with its skylight. really sad actually. i am going to have to do some seeeeerious planning to set up my new apartment. it's a one bedroom instead of a studio. but it's basically the same amount of space, but divided up. right now i am thinking that i will actually sleep in the bedroom. [at first i was thinking of using it as a work room.] and set up my computer, sofa, and sewing machine in the living room. i am going to get rid of my old tv, vcr/dvd, and giant entertainment center currently holding them. there really isn't room in my new place. and my parents recently converted all the videos i had to dvd. so there's no real need for anything but my computer anymore. i'm getting a new monitor. i think something larger than the sad little one i have now will totally take the place of a tv. it's not like my tv is that large anyway. or fancy. it's just a plain old analog tv. so i don't really feel like i'm giving up much.
and now i'm going through that same old process of getting rid of shit i don't need before moving. no point taking things i don't use or want along with me. especially since i have to be much more economical in my use of space. i am confident that everything will work out though.
and the rental lady told me that several of the people in my building are young artists like myself. so. bushwick is perfect for me. since it's the new williamsburg and all. maybe i will live down the street from the next karen o. or maybe i will be the next karen o.
there's no telling what the future holds. and for once, i find that exciting rather than terrifying. life is mostly great these days. and i'm so glad. because seriously, if it had continued being as awful as it was. i probably would not have made it.
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| i keep thinking that i need to update this, but i've been writing so much in my real journal. between that and my constant tweets, it seems a bit unnecessary. [i added a twitter box thing to my xanga page. if you care, which you certainly don't have to.] i'm making a dress for hillary for some black-tie event in september. which is tomorrow, oddly enough. september, not the event. hopefully, it turns out beautifully. i mean. it is going to turn out beautifully. i started cutting out the mock-up tonight.
i've been re-reading art & fear. hillary gave me a copy this summer. inscribed and everything. it is very helpful in terms of focus. i like the direct way the authors have of writing. their bluntness of saying that creating is difficult for everyone at times. and people who say it's easy all the time are liars or exceptions.
one thing that has struck me particularly this time through is the idea that it's easy to drop off when you no longer have a venue for your art. that pretty much describes my path. after my senior show. haha. my senor fashion show. i didn't really do anything. of course, my brother died that summer, too. which had a lot a lot to do with it. but it's terrifying to work again. i guess that's something you either understand or you don't. for a really long time i was terrified that the creative part of me died that summer. and now the fear is that i haven't worked in so long, that i somehow can't anymore. that somewhere along the way, that part of me withered away from abandonment.
mostly i like this book because it is these two dudes, who have been there, basically telling you to stop making excuses and fucking do it already. that just doing it is the point. that you can never make good work if you don't make any work. and a lot of it is going to be not that good. but eventually some of it will be good. while at the same time, explicitly identifying your fears and providing counter-arguments. logical and true counter-arguments.
i think this book should be handed to every single student in a creative field. and then they should have to read it about 50 times.
so that's what been going on with me. part of it anyway. seriously, i can't emphasize enough how much crap i post on twitter. mostly just things that occur to me throughout the day. but sometimes important things. [mostly not though.] though i'm not sure exactly how much quality posting i've done on here. probably not much. especially since i'm exponentially less angsty these days.
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| yeah. i definitely didn't finish. it's mostly together [shoulder seams and sleeves excepted.] but i am really hating how the front falls. like a lot. so it's not going in to work until monday. i can't work on it tomorrow evening, 'cause i'm going out!
though at some point i do think i am going to have to stop living like i don't have to get up for work. because i do have to get up for work. and late hours + work = mega-tired.
that's me right now. i got so caught up in working on the dress that i didn't notice that i was tired until about 20 minutes ago. totally the suck. now time for sleeps!
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| my draper asked me today when i was going to bring in the things i've been working on so she can see them. to which i replied that i only had one thing done and the others were still in concept. which isn't exactly true. because the one isn't actually finished. so i need to do that tonight. i should start right now so i'm not up late. the difficult inset corners on the back are done. so i don't think it will be hard. i just need to do it. the front skirt of the dress is all that's left. the lining and bodice are all put together. oh. and the sleeves. this dress is just so fucking clever. i wish i could take credit for it. but really, it's just partial credit. it's mostly a copy of another dress. and i changed the sleeves to be these sleeves i love from this 30s pattern i copied when we did lend me a tenor for brown county playhouse two years ago. they're all ruched and droopy and wonderful.
alright. to work with me! if i finish it fairly quickly, i should work up some sketches for the other things i want to make. and i will have to adhere to a much stricter schedule if i want four pieces finished when hillary comes to town in 3 weeks. ack. that's a piece a week. dorothy. you need to fucking get to work!
good thing i built a playlist called "get to work!"
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| so. make of this what you will. i pulled out my markers today. all tria pantones for the most part. i have a couple fleshtone copics. now. they all work except for the four that i bought right after eddie died. to be fair they are the new redesigned model. but some of my other markers are about 5 years old. and they all work fine. not even remotely dry.
it just shook me i guess. because there is no reason for those markers to be dry. they're only 2 years old. i bought them in an effort to jump start my creative whatever shortly after eddie died. i had an overwhelming wave of inspiration while at yellowstone. looking at this hot spring. with the most vivid and beautiful reds, oranges, blues, and greens. set against this stark, bone white ground. this was the day before i found out he died.
i think i'm going to throw them out. because this is really really really upsetting me. there is no reason for them to be dried out. like they barely mark at all. and i never really used them. or at all, i think. i don't even think i entered them onto my colour swatch page.
maybe i'll make those baked figs now instead of later. that seems calming and distracting and it will make my apartment smell good.
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