Family and Friends,

 

 

It's been a while since I've written an update and apologies for the mass mail, but with my work schedule and company blocking of gmail, yahoo-mail, aim, etc - it's been difficult to stay in touch and keep people updated.  However, all these company Internet restrictions are indeed achieving their objectives - 2006 was a very productive and successful year for me, personally and professionally. Here are some thoughts about what has been going on in my life.  I'll try to keep this pretty free form but knowing how anal I can be, I don't think my efforts will be that successful!

 

 

Everyone always asks me what it is like living in Tokyo, with the tone of their voice or email somehow expecting a negative response, talking about just how difficult it is to live here.   Tokyo (net of difficult to read Kanji-characters that I will never get the hang of) is actually an extremely easy city to live in.  I think if you have an open mind and palate, city life is city life.

 

Do I eat sushi for breakfast/lunch/dinner? - NO!  It's amazing what peoples perceptions are of Japanese food.  In the States, it is typically limited to Sushi and Chicken Terriyaki.  People have a hard time believing me when I tell them that Tokyo, in my experience has been the best culinary city in the world.  But I'm not just talking about Japanese food - I'm talking about all the wonderful foods that the world has to offer (Although I have yet to find an outstanding Thai restaurant).  How can you get better Italian food than in Italy??  Trust me, it is all here.  

 

 Like New York, all the famous chefs have restaurants here.  On top of that, though, is the consistency of freshest food and outstanding service without a tip-me-big-or-i-will-spit-in-your-food attitude.  Supreme customer service (the customer is god) is displayed everywhere from the train attendant taking your ticket to the humble standing bar noodle-shop owner serving you your $4 bowl of noodles.    Given how most of the customers are also well mannered (a lot of it due to the Japanese person's desire not to create a "scene"), it makes for a pleasant dining experience.  If you don't believe that Tokyo food is the best, I invite you to visit me and I will prove it to you.  And with Dollar/Yen at 120+, it is actually starting to be reasonably priced!

 

I have met some friends here, but the quantity of friends is no where near as much as those that I have in New York.  I think there are a few reason for this - 1) I am still relatively new to the city and still have not explored fully  2) Married life keeps me at home nestled on the couch and watching movies and not at the clubs with vodka redbull in hand  3) I am already satisfied with the many good friends I have around the world, so making time for new friends requires me to focus more on quality vs quantity.

 

With work, planning weddings, and just finding enough time to relax, I have to say my Japan-based social calendar has been limited.  Much of my socializing has been reserved for trips abroad.  Tokyo, while not ideal (HK is much better), has served to be a great portal to the rest of Asia.  The feeling I have is very similar to how continental Europe felt to me when I was studying in London.  I've been fortunate enough to travel extensively through Asia for personal, business, and combined reasons - hanging out with good friends, family, and coworkers in Hong Kong, Shanghai, Beijing, Bangkok, Singapore, Seoul, and Manila - with plans to visit new places or revisit favorite ones in the future.  It's great to pick a city and have friends from all over fly in, to discover something new together.

 

In Tokyo, every month we probably host 1-2 groups of visitors, so basically the other weekends are spent just relaxing, recovering, and running errands.  It seems that since I have moved here the amount of people moving to Asia that I know has increased - the most ironic situation being my roomie back in NYC.  He was just sent out here on a 2+yr assignment with JPM and now lives down the street from me, close enough to borrow a cup of sugar (if it was not so cold out).  There is movement the other way as well, with some great friends repatriating, which makes a bigger impact in a smaller social circle, where perhaps in NYC it would not affect me as much.

 

What I dislike the most about having to work normal hours like the rest of the world (as opposed to the night-shift I worked while I was in NYC), is the lazy mornings at home, chatting with friends and nurturing friendships.  So many people in the world I care about but just so little time to ask them about the little things, like how their day was.  It is a sad reality that many friendships are based on geographic proximity or electronic proximity.  The friend you used to see at the jiu jitsu gym once a week, the friend you talked to every day on your company messaging system that moved to another firm (and unfortunately is not on bloomberg either), the friend who works for the military and disappears for months on end.  That is the saddest part of friendships - the fact that a lifestyle change (moving, changing jobs, changing scheduled) can make such an impact.  Although, when you do actually get to see each other again, it is almost like you have never left (after I finish answering all the questions about whether I eat sushi 3x a day or not).  I am lucky that most of my friends are Asian or Asian-American, which gives them a perfect excuse to visit the motherland and come to Tokyo during their travels.  That doesn't mean I have no love for my non-asian friends!  Luckily those people are located in NYC (JPM home-base) and Concord (where my mom lives).  Trips to those places are easily 1-2x a year.

 

 

Besides the few extra pounds around my waist, expected, married life is is everything I could have hoped for and more.  I guess because we have not finished our marriage ceremony/celebrations (2 down, 1 to go!), maybe we haven't really settled into the married phase, but from the observations of friends - we are there.

 

For me, it is an easy transition.  I think being married to someone is not many steps apart from being in a long-term committed relationship and living together.  I guess people have different experiences with and takes on that (religious and moral sometimes), so being married hits people differently.  You kind of know after you say "I do" if you made the right choice or not.  For me, it was clear.  Maiga is everything I could have ever wanted, needed, or deserved.  I know I'll have the same opinion of her for the rest of my life.  Those of you that know us both, and know us together, always comment on just how compatible we are.

 

I think the reasons for our compatibility are many, but the main ones are that we are both fun-loving kids who try not to take things too seriously and have a mutual respect and admiration for each other.  We talk about problems and issues in their infancy and not when they reach a raging boil.  We never go to bed angry, we never leave the house angry - who knows when the next massive Tokyo earthquake will be (morbid thought, but we are due for a big one)?  I always want the last thing she hears from me before we leave each other for the day, night, etc is how much I love her.  She feels the same.

 

Maiga has her moments when it comes to adjusting to Tokyo life, but then again, so do I.  Thankfully those feelings do not coincide so I am capable of consoling her during her moments of home sickness, or Tokyo-freak out.  It's tough for us to figure out what an ideal situation is, however.  Sure, we have homesickness, but where is home?  I guess for us, the closest to home would be NYC as that is where we started our lives together - but I grew up in Kyoto and Concord, MA , while she grew up in Manila.  I know I consider those two cities home as well, and Maiga would feel the same for Manila.  What city would provide the both of us the best opportunity for success and personal fulfillment?  I wish I knew the answer to that, but to be honest,  I think the answer is a moving target.  As cheesy as it sounds, if you put your mind to it and can establish a support network, you can be happy anywhere.  For me, the fact that we are together is enough.  She does, however,  impress me with her ability to be successful and productive in this new city - she is truly a trooper. 

 

The disappointing thing for her is lack of volunteer opportunities.  She was a member of such a great organization back in NYC  www.houseoftheroses.com , and to find anything that comes close in Tokyo is next to impossible.  The catholic church down the street from us has a program to make rice balls for homeless people.  That is one of the limited opportunities.  Believe it or not, Tokyo-ites, or Japanese in general, are not big on helping others outside of their immediate network.  I read somewhere that Japan contributes the least towards charitable organizations relative to other wealthy nations.  At first I found that difficult to believe, but after living here a while, I can see it.  We have a vending machine on our floor at the office which sells discounted drinks - 80 yen for sodas vs. 120 yen in a regular machine on the street.  They also have a 90 yen soda option, that will donate 10 yen to a charitable organization.  It frustrates me beyond belief when the 80 yen sodas quickly sell out, leaving plenty of 90 yen sodas available.  I don't understand why people who are saving 40 yen cannot give 10 yen back.  So yes, opportunities for giving back in terms of time are limited, esp for non-fluent Japanese speakers.  Maigs and I have talked about joining the peace-corps or some other organization after we retire and the kids are through college (or at least have the finances to get through college).

 

One great bonus of married life is finding out how amazing of a cook Maigs is.  This was a talent she did not discover until well into our dating life (or perhaps she was hiding it from me until she felt I deserved it).  For me, I never factored great cooking skills as a prerequisite for the girl I dated/ended up with.  How lucky am I to discover that the girl I'm married to had this untapped talent!

 

Our biggest debate (albeit a light-hearted one), has been about the number of children we will have.  Funny to talk about this as we have not even experienced what life with one child is.  She wants three, mostly to replicate the three-child environment that she grew up with.  I want two, for that same reason and additionally my belief that children should not outnumber the parents (I'm joking... kind of).  I guess after child #2 is when the real debate will begin.  Maybe after child #2 'll just start drinking lots of Mountain Dew with Yellow # 5 (You people who grew up with me in the 80s/90s might get the reference) when she is not looking.  One thing we have agreed on with respect to children is that we will start trying in 2008/2009. So look forward to some beautiful English/German/French/Scottish /Welsh/Japanese/Chinese/Spanish/Filipino mixed lil' ones in the near future - "Midget Models", as we will refer to them.  Hopefully they will get some  of the tall genes buried in our family, but as they say - Big or Small, we'll love them all.

 

We are also looking into the possibility of pets.  So far we have some hearty plants that have survived the harsh weather and occasional neglected watering, and two tiny fish named "Ninja" and "Belly", in honor of Maiga's loving nick-name for my stomach a.k.a "Ninja Belly".  We'd like to add a cat and dog to the mix, but given the horror stories we have heard of Tokyo pet-stores, we have chosen the patient route and are contacting breeders with no time-limit in mind.  We may get a Russian Blue kitten, but the waiting list is 6+ months.  My philosophy is, why rush into a 10-15yr commitment?  As for dogs, the issue is whether to get one before/during/after pregnancy.  We'd like a larger sturdy dog with a big heart and friendly demeanor, so a Golden Retriever or a Lab seem to fit that mold in our minds.  I've even seen some Golden/Lab cross breeds that were pretty cute.  I think it Maiga had her way, she'd want a Rottweiler with the personality of a Lab - good luck finding that!

 

 

 

 What can I say, Tokyo working life is pretty hectic.  Everyone says people work longer hours here, and they aren't kidding.  Relative to other people in the industry and in Asia, my hours are actually pretty manageable - from 7:30am-7:00pm from M-F, with scattered late night phone calls thrown in there.  Depending on who I tell, I get various responses from "That's it??  Wimp!" to "You pour soul, you corporate slave."  One great thing about my job is I'm pretty much running my own show, and while I look to senior people in the Tokyo office for guidance, the core management comes from NY and London.  Another aspect of my job that I really enjoy, while tiring, is the amount of travel around different Asian countries.  It is really exciting to start business relationships with clients in some of the fastest growing countries and regions of the world.

 

My job situation got turned on its head about 1-2 months into my relocation.  My biggest sponsors, 3 of the top MDs in my group including the group head, left my company for bigger, better, and higher paying roles at a competing shop.  Needless to say, I was pretty much in shock.  However, being alone on this island kept me sheltered as many ways as well.  What came about from their departure was that I received just as much or even more validation that I was an important member of the team.

 

My group reorganized and my management reporting line shifted, but after everything was sorted I have realized that I am now in a better place - managing the USD and Euro aspect of my business, and taking an active role as a trader on the Yen side. The most difficult part of this process has been managing the office politics, which I fear will only increase as my years in the industry increase.  But as they say, chin up, head down...keep grinding!  The dust is now settled, and I know 2007 will be a very exciting year.

 

I saved writing this part of my email because I just found out and did not want to jinx myself.  I have just been promoted to Vice President, and this promotion has come one year earlier than generally allowed by my company's HR.  I can't tell you how happy and excited I am for this, but I also have to prove to the skeptics (I'm sure there are some) that I am deserving of the title.  One of my good friends who just moved out here was also promoted early as well, so it will be great to celebrate together.

Best of luck in 2007