its been quite an interesting week. it all started last week with my sisters wedding and all the pre and post activities that come with that big day. it was cool. i got to see friends and family and just be proud of my sister. i never really tell her how much i love her, how much i enjoy her company, how much i do look up to her. we do have our differences but through it all my sister is the best. the wedding rehersal thursday night was a sign of how much my sister means to me. just going through the motions of the wedding in practicing for the actual ceremony, tears began to come to my eyes. tears of joy for such a great thing for her but at the same time, tears of seeing my sister move on to another part of her life. i know that in the past two years, i haven't been home as much as i've been in my own bubble in san diego and the few times i do come home, we never really spend that much time together. i guess i took it for granted, cause now i actually miss my sister. and to think that shes living with another boy other than me? that's proposterous. she's one of my inspirations.

about 2 months ago, i attended her nursing pin ceremony and i pretty much almost cried there too. i never thought id be that emotional about her. growing up we fought a lot, even to this day, we have our differences but through it all, one thing remains the same: we're brother and sister.

building off that sentiment, i did some thinking in the last two days. i was somewhat forced to since i wasnt mobile enough to do anything. yesterday was diwatas birthday shindig and i guess i had more delicious beverages than i could handle. the truth tends to come out when people are under the influence of substances. we'll see where this will take me. a few good things did come out of the whole experience last night and early this morning: 1) arthur adopted me as his ading! so now i have another kuya. it's hella fitting that hes my kuya cause talking to him last night gave me some hope for going to med school and trying to do better in school. if he can do it, i can too. 2) my brotha from anotha motha: permanent rotation =) always there, never steps down. THANKS homie!

with summer school finishing up in about a week, school coming around, this week and the ones soon to follow will be quite a rush....heres to riding the last weeks of summer 2005 --->

Currently Listening Funky Divas By En Vogue see related

- Hold On

I’m a bit confused, hence the new layout...I don't know if I like it yet or what.  I don’t know how things got this way or what I did, but I have noticed change. How do I counteract this? Fight fire with fire.

BROTHA FROM ANOTHA MOTHA! Rotation! THANKS for the endless support and just being there and being so considerate. You’re the best.

My sister is getting married this weekend. It’s kind of a scary ones. We’re getting old, folks!

CLIFF NOTES VERSION: Summer Session I and II, SIORC Summer Summit, KP Primary Board Retreat, Chris Bunag, Miguel De la Fuente, Joe Juan: How it all began

THE COMPLETE STORY:

i’m on a train right now headed home for the weekend, and I’m getting a headache from the motions of the train. It’s pretty dope though, the view of the ocean on my left. So I thought that since I already have a headache, might as well make it worse and update this mother.

Since the last time I sat down and wrote, I guess a lot has happened. We’ve finally officially moved into our apartment and for the most part, I like living there. The guys are awesome [randy brent joe carlo and jason with cliff to come next month]. I’ve got to spend a lot of quality time with them, more so with some than others, but I guess I’ll get what I can take. As for the academic aspect of it all, summer session one went by oh so fast. Taking an upper div bio lab seemed hard but with the big support group that the KP BIBC 103 GANG brought to the table, I couldn’t falter. Best lab groups ever: A02 Groups 5-7. Me Jason and Shara were in one group and Bunag, Cliff, and Aaron were in group 7. So who’s group 6? Some nifty people we ended up meeting: Justin, Jessica, and Nicole. Dude but 5.5 hours  a day could not have gone any faster for 4 out of 5 days of the week. I learned a bit about some bio stuff but for the most part, I was just Jason’s lab assistant. Dude knows his stuff crazy good. That guy: a freaking genius and a closet myspace addict. He’ll deny it but I KNOW THE TRUTH.

Now I’m taking genetics or also called the KP GBM SERIES of the SUMMER. Dude we take up like a good portion of the class. As for today, we had two rows of folks in the left front corner of class just all clumped together. Oh! And it was cliff’s birthday: HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLIFF, and we sang for him KP style at the beginning of class. It seems hard and I need to get on doing my homework. The teacher is so fast. I think it was either Tone or Bunag who called her a linebacker. DUDE! It’s so true. But she teaches well. Despite her monotonous voice, I enjoy the class. How much can you really enjoy at 8 in the morning?

As for other things I’ve done this summer: SIORC SUMMER SUMMIT 2005. wow ok, so for those of you that don’t know what summer summit is, it is a program put on by SIORC [student initiated outreach retention commission] which takes place over one weekend. High school students from all over come to UCSD and go through a weekend long high school conference. So for this bad boy, I was an RA [resident/resource advisor] for a suite of guys [SUITE 250 REPRESENT!]. I was kind of hesitant to do this program. I was a last minute entry because Joseph needed an extra person to be an RA so he approached me and I accepted. Looking back on it, I can’t thank him enough for getting me involved in this program. It was one of the most rewarding weekends of this year for me.

I walked into the weekend with so many things to do and my mind other places, but as the students started coming in, especially my students, I started growing a bond with them that cannot totally be described by mere words. I started putting off the homework that I needed to do and next thing you know, I was screwed come Sunday afternoon. The reward though was irreplaceable. I got to know 6 of the greatest guys in my suite. Each and every one of them added something different to the experience. Out of the six guys, I’ve kept into close contact with two of them and I’ve adopted them as my adings: Ading Justin and Ading Lester. Justin: this guy, I talk to him every night before I go to sleep on AIM cause both of us are quite the insomniacs. We talk about the most random things but it’s funny. No shame involved. But I enjoy it. He comes to me about anything and asks for advice no matter what the subject is concerning. As for Lester, I’ve grown pretty close to that crazy guy. Not only me, but my entire apartment and group of friends love that boy. He’s one of the greatest people to hang out with, talk with, have fun with, who’s down for almost anything. I’ve had a few minor squabbles with him lately that have caused me to like question my actions but, no matter what happens, I’ll always be his kuya if he needs me. But in general, these guys and the program gave me a sense of belonging in san diego yet again. It answered some questions for me of what am I doing with my life here in San Diego and why am I here. It’s direction that I really needed in my life that I finally got. And a lot of things have steam rolled off of that.

A few weeks ago, KP primary board went on retreat: camping at Cuyamaca. FIRST and FOREMOST for those who know me and are reading this, you are all like: “KRIS GO CAMPING..NO FREAKING WAY”. Yes, I know. I don’t know how I survived, but I did and had fun at the same time. Primary board is the greatest group of people that I can imagine working with. That weekend I grew closer to a number of folks. For example, my new partner in crime: CHRIS BUNAG. Man, that guy. I don’t know how to describe him. He’s quirky funny in which there are no dull moments. He kept me sane throughout the weekend by just having small funny conversations about things and dude, he’s just straight out awesome. MALOU and her mindtrap stories. Those kept us going for quite a while and my buddy JOE was just to good at them. Speaking of JOE, him along with BUNAG, FRIDA, CARLO, and JACKIE were my sleeping buddies in the blue tent. Lets just say me and joe got closer because of the tent, even more so for me and Jackie. People would be a bit phased out by the whole thing, but JOE is my best friend. How can I be? I’m actually really happy that we are both doing board together. It’s going to be a fun year.

If there is one person that I need to thank the most or mention, it has to be mr. pogi himself, JUAN MIGUEL DE LA FUENTE. If it wasn’t for Miguel, I wouldn’t be where I am today, especially with KP and the people that I know. I owe that guy so much. For those that do not know the story, he kept inviting me to try out KP without really forcing it on me. Every time I turned it down, he’d try again next time without going over board and being obsessive. He left it open as a thing I should try out if I wanted to. We kept in touch throughout freshmen year since we lived right across from each other. When it came time to find roommates for the next year, I expressed my interest in wanting to live with him and he got things to work out. Next thing I know was living in E6 with the Aaron, Migs, and Chase. WOW, I miss those guys. It was an experience living with them. Now that I was living with two guys who did KP, I finally gave it a shot and started going to a few GBMs here and there. By winter quarter, I had all my classes with Aaron including 6bl: Inorganic Chemistry Lab. There on January 4^th In our first lab meeting, I ended up meeting my best homie JOE JUAN. So he likes to tell a fabricated story of how we met, but the more and more I hear it, the more I start to believe it myself. So let me give you the Joe story of the story: we got to biolab and me and aaron see joe sitting in lab, we move chairs so we can all sit together and like as we did, joe [a guy that I didn’t know then] chooses to sit between me and aaron. Being mad at that and doing inventory for my supplies, I take an erlenmayer flask and break it in disgust at the fact that joe is sitting between me and aaron. Believable? Somewhat. Even though I accidentally just dropped it out of me just being clumsy if anything, his story is plausible. Anyway, after a few lab meetings, we started talking to each other and became friends. And that was how we met. The quarter after, I ended up sleeping at 112 everyday cause of him. And we grew closer to the point that I considered and still to this day, consider him my best friend. He’s awesome.

The point of this story? I don’t know. But my philosophy is that there are so many people that go unrecognized that deserve some recognition every so often. As I sit here on the train still as I come close to San Juan Capistrano, I’ve been just reflecting on it all: college, friends, life. Without some of the people I’ve named, I wouldn’t be the person I am today.

SO MUCH has happened since the last time I was able to write down my thoughts to something that can’t respond back to me. It has been quite a crazy quarter: good times, bad times, ups, and downs. As I sit here and write this, I look at myself and see a different person. A person I don’t really like to be quite honest.

To an extent, I’ve been missing this quarter. I’ve hung out with a completely different group of folks, grown closer to new ones, and grew apart from others. Again, I’ve become a different person.

They say that once you climb a mountain you’ll be able to take on bigger and brighter things. But until you climb to the top, you’re stuck in a bind. Giving up is a possibility, but being known as a quitter is not the reputation we want on our foreheads. Many times this quarter, I thought of giving up and just taking the easy way out of things. To quote a song that’s been on my profile,

Every time I hear the first four lines of that bridge to the Hope song, I say to myself, “Damn, that just sums it all up there.” I’ve been surrounded by some of the greatest people this past 12 weeks, but even still, I still feel empty. I’ve talked out my frustrations with people, I’ve cried on countless occasions, I’ve stopped my world and dropped everything and still I can’t deal with everything….

I know this is all vague, but I’m using this as an outlet for me to vent about my personal life without divulging too much into details that don’t really matter. The little details of this only matter to me, and that’s how it should be. People seriously need to stop making assumptions about what’s going on with me and creating stories and spreading them. I’ve heard too many stupid things said from people’s mouths that shouldn’t even be said. And for the people that have looked at my situation and have become angry about certain things, you aren’t in the place to do that. You don’t know where I’m coming from and the reasons why I have been the way I’ve been. It’s hard to let people into my world and let them know the real me. I always put up a front for the sake of other people. I don’t like other people worrying about me. People should focus their attention and efforts on more important things instead of me.

For the people that I have let into my life this past couple of weeks, I honestly knew I never would. It’s been a rocky time for a few of you, and I know a lot of the stress I’ve caused on some of you has been cause of my stupidity, emotions, etc. and I’m sorry for all the grief that I’ve caused you…

To my favorite: thanks for always being there for me. I don’t know where I’d be without you. You’ve become an important part of my everyday life, and when we’re not together I seriously miss you. You always know how to make me smile, and never forget me or make me feel left out. Your constant checking on me has eased my apprehensions about a few things. It helps that we see eye to eye on a lot of things and are always thinking the same thing. At times it’s scary but hey, we’re just that cool. You know that I’m here for you always the way that you are here for me. I love you.

To my unofficial BROTHER: bro, I knew from the moment I met you that you’d be one of the people that I could trust with my life. Ever since that one night we went to get food and then headed back to your house and just chilled and talked, I know I could come to you with anything. Your calmness and wise words along with your priceless humor have made me feel at ease just being around you. I really value our friendship, even though we don’t see each other as much. I guess that’s what makes our friendship special. It proves that you don’t have to constantly be around someone to grow close to them and create a special bond.

To my NEW SISTER and one of the people that always knows what to say: YOU TWO, seriously have been there for me beyond words. My constant bitching, complaining, whatever I gave you, you never judged me. You both have comforted me when I needed someone to talk to, you’ve let me cry when I needed to let out pent up emotion. To my new sister, you’re random hugs have been the most priceless thing that I will not trade for anything. You honestly don’t know how much that has helped me through whatever was going on. It’s really true what they say that actions speak louder than words. I’m happy that I get to spend more time with you in the future, since I’m practically living with you, or shall I say, living with me? =)

To my best friend: I honestly don’t know where to start. This quarter has been full of ups and downs. You’re someone I feel so comfortable around but at times the person I can’t be around; The person that I can share anything with but have moments where I can’t talk to you for shit. You know how I feel about you and our friendship, but reality finds its way to mess things up and cause rifts. But each time, we get over them. Even though we don’t spend that much time together anymore, I hope that you still see me as your best friend, even though I constantly give you shit. I love you.

To my fooool/homie: Wow, it was quite a quarter. It was quite a ride! You were seriously part of some of my fondest memories this quarter. And I’m sorry things happened the way they did. I just hope that you know you still have a friend in me when you need it. Sorry for causing you not to be able to concentrate at such an inopportune time such as finals. I hope that the day can come along where we can hang out again like old times. I know that I kept a lot from you during those weeks, and hopefully you understand why now. I know that I keep apologizing, but I really am sorry, and hopefully you’ll forgive me.

Now where do I go from here? Even though I feel like I’m a different person, I know that some things haven’t changed....

i know you all have something to say, so comment, i'm curious. no need to go IM someone with your thoughts, just say it right here..