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LadyMaxwell
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Name: Bri
Birthday: 11/27/1990
Gender: Female
Interests: Well...I am interested in books of the fantasy nature, sci-fi will get me as well. I love history of the European kind. Actually, I enjoy most any history so long as it's not American. American history is generally dull. Um...I enjoy going out for a night on the town, I love the city and the lights. I love to dance, whenever I find a chance, I'll go to clubs and just dance the night away. I enjoy music...loud music. I enjoy rhythms. I enjoy beats. I love cats. Message me sometime ^_^ Mortlnightmare02
Expertise: History, reading, writing (when I'm not too lazy), hanging out, dancing ^_^
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  MortlNightmare02
MSN: a_slight_chance_of_SPAZZ@yahoo.co.uk
Member Since:
7/22/2005
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| A while back I had bought a Doo Wop Era cd and never listened to it, but I am now. I love my choices in music lol.
Okay, I've been doing a bunch of posts about other topics aside from my own life and I guess some of you might be wondering, since I never get online or the phone to talk to anyone, what in the hell is going on in my world. Well, here is such a post.
Work is a roller coaster, now about 300 dollars is missing and Sue pulled me off to the side to ask me about it. Since some returned and then disappeared Monday night, when Kyle and I worked. The original 300 went missing the night of Christmas Eve when it was Kyle and Michelle working. Sue asked me if Kyle had been acting strange or saying anything off to me, and I said no, nothing out of the ordinary. Though Sue knows that I am innocent, Scott told her to write me up. Which made me furious, because I did nothing wrong and more often than not, I am not on the register. Sue said she was just going to throw it away since she knows it wasn't me. Here's the problem with that. Sue is two-faced, mom has warned me so many times about this woman, and I've seen it. So I'm conflicted because I want to believe her because it would comfort me knowing that this warning would go away. But at the same time, she might just say this to make me feel better about confessing anything, had I anything to confess. I'm also upset about the writing up thing because if I get written up one more time, I get fired. I am terrified of losing this job, I have it so good here. I get paid near 8 dollars, I have dental and vision insurance, and most of the employees respect me because of my time there. Oh well.
I'm out of school until the 25th, which is ridiculous. What am I going to do with myself until then?? Go insane is the proper answer. I already wrote down my list of books for this coming semester, only ten this time. I hope to get them soon and study them a little before classes start.
Brenden was here from the 29th to the 4th, not nearly as much time as I wish I could have him. I hate our relationship, I love him dearly but I hate this relationship. I even told him last night that when we move in together, I will not feel bad for taking him away from his friends for a while so I can just have him. I've been denied time with him for too damn long, I'm just tired of everyone else having all of this time with him and I just sit here and wait for a weekend corrupted by work, where I won't even see him half of the time. I hate it. But things are moving toward our favor, his dad gave him 100 dollars for Brenden to buy me this diamond necklace, but Brenden asked if he could just use it to save up for an engagement ring. When Brenden told me this, I was stunned lol. I mean, we had been planning engagement for a while now, but it was really just talk until he told me this. Now it's material. Brenden is beginning to save up for an engagement ring. I told him that I wouldn't move in with him until I was engaged to him; I'm so happy to know that he really does want to have a home with me.
I'm sorry my life isn't very exciting, but I have a few topics to talk on next time I get around to blogging.
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| Dear Customer,
No, the cooler is not a walk-in, so don't do it. I don't care if you know Sue, you don't know me so don't push it.
Don't throw your money at me because you think it's cute.
Don't call me a cunt because I ask for your license.
Don't put your things at the far end of the counter, thinking I enjoy reaching across, because I will keep them on my side for you to reach over and see if you enjoy as much I.
Wipe your fucking feet.
Take a damn shower.
If you have no teeth, do not smile.
Control your fucking children.
Do not send in your kids to get you lottery tickets.
Do not send in your kids to grab your beer.
Get away from the counter when you're done, don't hold up the line because you're talking to someone.
I hate the weather, don't talk to me about it.
Fuck snow, don't bring it in to the store thinking that I live my life to mop it up.
Wash the deer blood off your hands before coming near me.
Speak the fuck up, and stop getting mad at me for not hearing what kind of cigarettes you want.
Use fucking words, don't point and expect your finger laser to guide me.
I don't care if you come in every day to buy beer, give me your license or stop drinking so damn much.
Just because the coffee is not as full as you want it to be does not give you an invitation to make your own.
I don't give a flying fuck how old the pizza looks to you, if you don't want it, stop complaining and don't buy it. I will not give you a deal, go home and eat fucking chicken feed for all I care.
If you can see that there are five fucking things cooking on the grill, don't order a hot sub and expect it to be the first one done.
Button your damn shirt.
Don't leave your shit all over the store and not tell me.
Throw your cigarette butts in a garbage can, not on my floor.
Do not push back the beer and then grab, thinking there is a cushion behind them all. I hate cleaning up beer spills.
Check the cooler and then ask me, I do not want to go in and search because you couldn't see something in front of you.
Chewing is disgusting, stop doing it when you come in the store.
Do not talk to me with chew in your mouth.
Make up your fuck damn mind.
Don't cut in line because you feel your shit comes first.
If I am not done being rung out, do not put your things on the counter while I am still there. It's fucking rude.
If I say we close at 11, don't come in at 10:50 and order shit, we just cleaned this fucking place.
Don't give me hell when there's no pizza out at five to close, guess you should have had the munchies earlier.
I know the owner of the store is a bandit and charges too much, what the fuck am I going to do about it?
Grow up.
That's my post for the day.
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| Well everyone, and Candide, here's how my garden has been looking as of late.
Good things:
1. I received another pay raise and now make $7.97, which completely took me by shock since I just received a raise a couple months ago. I'm not complaining, but still kind of odd.
2. Brenden was down as visited me for a week, and it was amazing.
3. This semester is almost over.
4. I am still alive to cultivate my garden.
Bad things:
1. I am depressed and when I talked to mom about how I've been feeling lately, she said depression has thick roots on her side of the family, so it's possible that I do indeed have depression. Which sucks.
2. It's hard to convey said depression because I don't have anything to be depressed about. My life is overall good. I have everything that I need, money to get what I want, a loving family, a wonderful boyfriend, all of that. But I have no idea as to why I'm depressed. I've thought it over and over but can't figure it out. But I'm in a constant mental battle with myself. Like..something will happen or someone will say something and a part of my mind interprets it as an attack or something like that and the other part of me says no, it has nothing to do with you. See? It doesn't make sense! It would be easier getting over a depression if I knew what in the hell I was depressed about. But I have no idea.
3. I lost one of my cats and want another one, but can't get one. Not because mom won't let me, but because I plan on moving next year and things will be tough enough for Brenden and I just us two than for me to try and finagle a cat into a new apartment. And I can't bring Eryx, he has NEVER been an indoor cat. Even when we first got him and tried to keep him in long enough to get big for the outdoors, he still bolted out one day. He would be so much more happier here than at an apartment. And it breaks my heart to leave him behind.
4. Because I'm depressed, I feel the need to eat. I hate that. I hate eating. I want to stop eating. I am sick and tired of food. I spend all of my fucking time around food. But it's getting harder and harder for me to stop eating. And it just makes me hate myself more. I want to exercise and lose weight, but my motivation is next to nothing now. I just want to sleep. I want to be with Brenden.
5. Brenden visited and then left. This is why I am going to move next year. I can't take much more of this separation. He leaves and my heart aches. He comes back, and things are just right. Yeah we bicker about things, we discuss others, we talk about silly things and educate each other on things the other never knew about...but being with him and hearing his voice and knowing that he's next to me...it's something that is irreplaceable.
I'm sorry for this post, but I just wanted to say something. I don't care if anyone posts or what not, it's just a soppy blog anyway.
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| Here was his story.
We moved to Florida in 1995, I had just turned five when we moved. We moved into the Windover Apartment complex off of Henry Road. I was six when Smokey showed up to our apartment. He scratched on the door and we were all confused as to why this strange cat was here. But he seemed healthy, in his right mind, and fixed, so he shortly became a nice guest. Later that day, two girls came and asked if we had seen their cat Lovey, turns out it was this gray cat that we had allowed in. They took him back, thanked us for keeping him safe, and left. Not too long after, a few days or so, he was back. The girls didn't look for him. He was ours now and we named him Smokey.
When we moved from the apartment complex and into our house, we brought him, Missy (a kitten we acquired), and Morgan (our dog that was given to us by this crabby business woman that had us dog-sit until she just gave Morgan away). His favorite spots to lay on were the clothes line poles, hanging plant pots, and the crux of the tree where the huge branch connected to the tree trunk. He stayed with us no matter what. He loved us. And we loved him. He always came when you called. He always drooled.
He initiated Brenden into the family by jumping on his lap and kneeding into Brenden's legs. The look on Brenden's face was absolutely priceless.
We moved from Florida back to New York in June of 2008 and Smokey still remained our oldest pet. His first winter was great, I never thought he would take to it like a kitten in bewilderment. He stayed inside most of the time, but he was still having fun.
Earlier this year, we noticed a small lump on his hip, none of us were concerned. But it grew to immense proportions and he wanted more and more food. We took him to the vet, he never had to go there in almost all of his years, to find out that he had bone cancer and this tumor was affecting his nerves, causing his leg to drag. We fed him and kept him warm, hoping he would make it to when Brenden would come home for break. But today, his tumor incredible, he could barely lift his leg, he could hardly eat, go to the bathroom, or go down stairs. I bought him a baby blue blanket and wrapped him, put him in the carrier and took him to the vet.
From the time he came to us to the time we let him rest, I have petted him. I consoled him, stroked his back, and cried for him until his heart stopped beating. I wrapped him in his blanket and cradled him like my baby, as he had always been. I carried him out to the truck and held him. When I got him, I set him down on the back porch, closed his eyes, his mouth, and curled him up the way he always slept, and wrapped him up again. I went in and out, to kiss his body through the blanket. Dad came home, I held him again, and gently placed him, in his favorite sleeping position and place outside, in his grave.
I will never forget the cat that stayed with me for 13 years.
Rest In Peace
Smokey Switzer
Greatest Gray Cat In the World
1993 - 11/16/09
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| Thank you, Empedocles.
Alright then.
I don't really have any pseudo-intellectual discussions planned for today, so I'll just start off with my happenings. My life has been going as it has since I moved up here, in a perpetual teeter totter. When I'm high up, things are going awesome and I'm laughing, smiling, and all of my problems seem to fade. And then I fall and things go from good to annoying to the ass slam on the ground, you know, the kind where it shocks your body and you can't force your knees to push you back up. Your ankles are sore, an annoying tingle floods up your spine, and you knees rattle. And it sucks. That's what life has been for me since I moved. It's been like this for so long that I've just attributed this to be how life in the "real world" is like. I only put quotations around that because though I am out of high school and in college, I am not exactly in the real world. I still live at home and don't pay a bunch of bills. Sure, I have a credit card, pay my cell bill, and my car insurance, I'm not living in the supposed real world. But if I am limbo right now, I can only imagine the crippling ass slam of the real world teeter totter. Kind of silly that I am equating the real world of adults to that of a child's playground feature. But who doesn't enjoy a teeter totter when not in metaphor?
The Dandy has been going all right. I got my raise and am now making 7.85 an hour. I think we're finally out of the 'short-handed' phase that we had been in since I cut down my hours and since Kris left. The audience that comes in and out of the store still grates on my every nerve. People who feel as though they can do whatever just because Sue said they could are the most annoying to deal with. Especially the volunteer fire department, a bunch of fat and useless drunks, the lot of them. And then we have the rednecks who can't figure out that soap and water thing. And that toothbrush mechanism is too much. People are extremely diverse, but they all act the same in this area. The kids live up to stereotypes, and their relatives live to rot themselves. It's a degenerative cycle of conformity and body wreaking habits that somehow continues to reproduce. I don't know how.
I've been planning on moving to Rochester to be with Brenden, and I've been sad thinking about leaving my mom, dad, and sister. It's the main reason why I will never move outside of this country, though I would love to live in Greece. But that's another story. And whenever I feel bad about leaving, I go to work and realize that I can't get out of here fast enough. No, dear reader, I do not have green goggles on and think that Rochester will make everything better. In fact, things will be hell for a while as I start my life. But I do not believe that things will be as bad there. I can't convey to you about how annoying and perpetually stressing it is to live here. Burdett is not an ideal home. I never want to live here. Again.
Anyway, what's happened in my life recently. I took two midterms and passed them both. History of Modern Europe saw a B+ and History of Western Civilization II saw an A. I'm pretty proud of that, considering the testing situation, haha. My Russian class is going very well, I enjoy it extremely. I can't wait to learn more languages. I also registered for next semester. Here's a fun situation: I came into Corning with 15 credits. I took 13 credits last semester. I'm taking 14 credits currently. That leaves me with 20 credits left. Okay, I could take all 20 next semester and be done, right? I freaking wish. I can't take all 20 because 4 of those credits is my Russian 3 class, which I can't take until Fall of 2010. Doesn't that SUCK? The answer is hell yes. But oh well, it will give me more time to work and be with my family as I prepare to move.
Ah yes, here's my weekend. Wednesday, I drove up to Rochester after school and surprised Brenden. He knew I was coming, but I didn't let him know when I had arrived so...twas awesome. We hadn't seen each other in a month and were just sooo happy. We had dinner, where I was about ready to kill Jae, and hung out the rest of the night. Brenden and I slept in his twin and hung out before he went to class at noon. When he came back around four, we headed for home, which was fun. He drove and we just sang Disney songs, our own little operetta formings, and just talked and laughed. Gracious, I love him greatly. We made it home and then we went to P&C and walked around a little while. I developed a liking for soy milk and bought some, as well as some more shampoo and wash for him. We went home and hung out before going to bed. I went to school on Friday, I love coming home to him. But then I went to work and what not, crazy. Freaking crazy. People kept wanting food >.<. I have no problem making like 100 cold subs, but if you want hot subs...I'll shoot you (just kidding, kids). Brenden came and got me, he and Kyle talked a while as I rushed trying to fill things last minute, because we didn't stop cleaning (or I didn't, rather) til close. We went to bed around one or so, and I slept the best I had in a long time. We woke up and spent all Saturday morning together. We went to Ithaca, so fun. Went to Wegman's first, where he got a Coca Cola in a glass bottle and some Non Pareils (freaking yummy). Then we crossed over to Barnes and Noble. I bought him two more Orson Scott Card books and I fed my history nerd. Persian Fire (history of the Persian Wars), History of Scotland, Osman's Dream (history of the Ottoman Empire), and Classical World (history from Homer to Hadrian). Oh man, I am in love.
Then we went to the Commons for a short period, the DeWitt Mall, and then to Wendy's. Went home and then he dropped me off at work. He ended up taking my sister to her Charity Ball thing, which I heard that both of them had a great time. Leah said some of the girls there were eyeing Brenden, why not? He is such a great looker. Sunday was a bad day. Brenden had to go back to Rochester and I had to work. Work sucked. I made a bunch of hot food, and I now hate the smell of burgers and philly cheese steaks and anything fryer related. Ugh.
I have little discussions I would love to post, but I think I've put up enough for now. I've been getting a lot of footprints lately, and that actually makes me pretty happy. I urge people to comment on my boring life or to give me points of discussion. I love to talk, obviously. I hope my anonymous readers confide in me :)
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