What is your drug?

I Honestly feel even more crappy after all the things that has happened, namely nothing. It's like my life went on hold and everything else is just a busy rush of events. I don't know where to start and when things end. There just seems to be so many things to do, during the weekdays during all those trainings on weekends, but when the weekend arrives, I find myself lost and searching for things to be happy about. The saddest part of it is that I don't find myself looking forward to weekends anymore.Is it just me, or that my expectations for weekends been killed by everything around me.I use to think that I feel shit about missing out on ppl's life when I'm in camp, but it just becomes that it's not that I don't know about anything, it's just that no one really cares to share about things anymore, cept for a few guys.

I don't want to waste my time anymore. I just want to look forward to something that is there.

Sorry for being a lousy friend. But do you let me be a friend? I don't know why we call ourselves brothers anymore...

Fuck.

In this sea of lonely
The taste of ink is getting old
It's four o' clock in the fucking morning
Each day gets more and more like the last day
Still I can see it coming
While I'm standing in the river drowning
This could be my chance to break out
This could be my chance to say goodbye
At last it's finally over
Couldn't take this town much longer
Being half dead wasn't what I planned to be
Now I'm ready to be free
                                 - the Used, "The taste of Ink"

I was never prepared for any of this. I only wanted it to be like it used to be...

Hey guys I've got a new blog but that doesn't mean this is gonna die, just that the other one is a mobile blog... so like I can update it with my phone via sms or mms... cool rite? I know its not that new but got check it out... =)  It looks a bit stupid now but thats cos i dont have the time to go and customize it yet, i'll do it when I'm back...

Oh the cool thing about it is that you guys can post messages on the tag board and I will receive it, so like i can chat with u guys on that blog... so do like try and see how it works, it's rather cool la seriously... haha

 http://www.moblog.com.sg/blog/turtlesnot

 yup that is it, it's the least I can do to update you guys on how I'm doin and the same the other way around... so dododododododo update me.. =)

You're feeling lonely but can you hide what's inside,
I'm feeling lonely but I can't wait for a new day again...

Seriously when will this every end?

When will today end? Because, even when I sleep at night it's like to took a quick shut of my eyes, and blink my way to a brighter surrounding. It's like I never slept, for years. A closer comparison to what I'm experiencing is the stars in the sky. They are there but you don't always see them in the night. But it's just there because they say it is and it really is. But we don't always see them. I haven't dreamt in such a long time, and honestly, I do miss dreaming alot. My escape, my only hope. Stars. It's around, just not there yet. Lost in the background again. What's wrong with me again... I'm counting them with my eyes closed cos I can see them better that way.  The day only ends, when I'm alive again. Now please. =\ A bit around or the otherside, but in the middle is nothing without the space in between.