Ooh Xanga, where has thou been? Why have you forsaken me?... ok, perhaps that was a bit too dramatic to start an entry for a journal I haven’t even visited since September. Alas, has it really been that long? Indeed it has, but in my defense, my LiveJournal sure does enjoy the attention. So then, what has been going on with me in the last few months you are probably asking yourself, I am sure you are because I am just so damn interesting. Well there remains a constant rejection by the female population. Then of course there is the steady income I receive from a job at starbucks which I detest. Oh and who could forget my new band, right around the time Cold Quarter was dissolving, due to the fact that the female singer and myself felt a little awkward around each other after she hit on me and her boyfriend found out as well as the constant reality that no one was really practicing, another fine group of fellows contacted me on MySpace of all places and asked me to join them. Thus I became a member of Bridgeport Boulevard. To my surprise, we are pretty good... ok, we are awesome, there I said it. Were in the studio this week actually, recording our first EP titled Memento Mori, which would be out soon. The title was something I came up with a while ago, which in Latin means remember we must all die. I don’t know, I thought it was a pretty sweet title, so you should probably check us out....

http://www.purevolume.com/bridgeportboulevard

The End

Currently Playing Hot Fuss By Killers see related

- Mr. Brightside -

Haven't written here in a while. Not much has changed, everything has changed... Now check me out, im a ninja...

I was going to put some ambiguous song lyrics here, meh, maybe next time...

So, college is coming up soon. I just went through our mandatory orientation, it wasn’t too bad actually. Everyone was really nice too. Those fraternities must be getting desperate; one actually asked me to join them. These guys even invited me to a party they are having next week. And these guys weren't little guys either; my head barely came up to their shoulders! And ooh the classes I have to take to become a vet... wow, just take a look:

General Education Courses:
   Area A Communication and Critical Thinking
      1 Written communication
      2 Oral Communication
      3 Critical Thinking
   Area B Math and Natural Sciences
      1 STA 120*
      2 CHM 121/121L*
      3 BIO 115/115L*
      4 Sciences and Technology Synthesis
   Area C Humanities
      1 Fine/Performing Arts
      2 Philosophy and Civilization
      3 Literature and Foreign Language
      4 Humanities Synthesis
   Area D Social Sciences
      1a PLS 201
      1b HST 202
      2 History, Economics, and Political Science
      3 Sociology, Anthropology, Ethnic, and Gender Studies
      4 Social Science Synthesis

Core Courses
   Orientation for Ag. Students
   Ag and the Modern World
   Agricultural Issues and Ethics
   Feeds and Feeding
   Animal Agriculture Science
   Animal Diseases
   Anat. and Phys. of Domestic Animals
   Genetics
      or Genetics of Domestic Animals

Any two(2) of the following:
   Sheep Mgt. Science
   Beef Mgt. Science
   Dairy Mgt. Science
   Swine Mgt. Science
   Poultry Mgt. Science
   Equine Mgt. Science
   Companion Animal Care

Option Courses
   Animal Parasitology
   Meat Science and Industry
   Advanced Animal Nutrition
      or Applied Animal Feeding
      or Ruminant Nutrition
   Animal Breeding
   Physiol. Reprod. & Lactation
      or Mammalian Endocrinology
   Biotechnology Appl. in An. Sci.
   Undergraduate Seminar
       or Development of Ag Leadership

Support Courses
   Computer Applications in Agriculture
   College Chemistry
   College Chemistry
   Organic Chemistry
   Organic Chemistry
   Organic Chemistry
   Elements of Biochemistry
   Trigonometry
   College Physics
   College Physics
   College Algebra
   Basic Microbiology
      or Plant Structures and Functions
      or Basic Soil Science
   Vertebrate Zoology
   Embryology

Whoa, my head is still spining...

*Note- those three were underlined on the paper, I think it might denote some importance

It felt like a dream that lasted 3 day, just long enough for me to have a great weekend. Then I finally woke from that dream, quite abruptly I might add, sometime this morning. It was an awakening in more than a general sence, as I finally know why I have such a confidence problem; why I hate the way I look, the way I act and everything else about me.

As I was on my way to work I realized something, how can someone truly love me if I dont even love myself. I'm sure people can tollerate me to some extent, as they have done up to now, but usually only for a couple of hours. Most of the time I am witth people I get scared, scared that they will see the faults I see in myself and not want to be around me anymore. I always try so hard to be the person that everyone likes and wants to be friends with, and what has it gotten me? Who wants to be friends with a person who doesnt even know himself? I wonder, if I move to a place where no one knows my name, would I be happy? No, I'm too far in to start all over again, there's no turning back now...