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By: Dianne Schilling
Researchers
have found that happiness and unhappiness are distinct emotional states, not
polarities of a continuum. Partly nature, partly knack, happiness is emotional
fallout from biological and behavioral events that you -- and only you -- can
influence. It's definitely an "inside story."
The biology of
happiness:
According to Daniel Goleman (Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More
Than IQ, Bantam 1995), you were born with the genetic makeup to be "very
happy, or reasonably content, or chronically dissatisfied." Positive
emotions have been shown to coincide with higher levels of activity on the left
side of the brain's prefrontal lobes. A key player seems to be the
neurotransmitter dopamine, which carries messages between brain cells. Scientists
estimate that half of your mood derives from your happiness
"set-point." Depending on your genes, you may have a natural
enthusiasm for life, deriving pleasure from ordinary activities, or you may
require unusual adventures, white-knuckle thrills. But regardless of what makes
you happy -- a quiet walk or a jungle safari -- after the initial high, you
return to your happiness set-point.
However, your
biologically-programmed set-point isn't really a point, it's a range. In
responding to daily events, nothing prevents you from hanging out at the
cheerful end of the range. And if science is correct, your set-point determines
only 50 percent of your mood anyway, so understanding how nature programmed you
is not nearly so important as understanding that you can choose to act
independent of the programming.
Things that do and don't
influence happiness:
Researchers have found that money, age, gender, income, race, education and
social status don't exert much influence on happiness. Surprisingly, neither do
major life events, like marriage or childbirth. After the initial high, it's
back to your set-point. However, happy people do tend to share certain personal
traits: high self-esteem, optimism, extroversion, and a sense of agency or
control over their lives. With high self-esteem you believe yourself worthy of
happiness, while a sense of personal agency enables you to handle life's
challenges. When it comes to external factors, the only thing that appears to
matter is strong social support -- in other words, friends.
If you'd like to be happier
-- or happy more often -- focus on these areas:
Use Your Emotional
Intelligence:
A hallmark of high emotional intelligence is the ability to bring
"emotional hijackings" under control and recover quickly from upsets and
distressing emotions. For more information, read our earlier Seminar
"Emotional Intelligence: You Can Help How You Feel!"
Take Care of Your Body:
Exercise. Moderate to intense aerobic exercise lifts the spirits, and is a
proven antidote for mild depression and anxiety. Brain chemicals released
during exercise, such as serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine, and the
beta-endorphins, are known to have strong effects on mood, and may also help to
strengthen your immune system.
Eat complex
carbohydrates.
Carbohydrates have a tranquilizing effect on the body by stimulating the
brain's production of serotonin. (By contrast, protein has been shown to
sustain alertness and mental energy.) However, with simple sugars (candy and
other sweets), you get a brief boost in serotonin followed by a sharp drop;
your mood crashes and your craving for sugar returns even stronger. Avoid the
roller coaster ride by eating complex carbohydrates -- pasta, rice, potatoes,
beans, breads, fruits and vegetables. Complex carbs are metabolized by the body
more slowly and sustain serotonin levels over a longer period.
Keep it light.
Serotonin levels are also affected by sunlight. If winters are dark where you
live, try to get two or three hours of bright, artificial light each day.
Develop Self-efficacy
and Resilience:
Life is twenty percent what you make it and eighty percent how you take it.
Underlying that statement are the concepts of self-efficacy -- the belief that
you have both the will and the way to accomplish your goals -- and resilience
-- the ability to bounce back from failures and approach problems as
challenges, not tragedies. Focus on your potential, rather than your
limitations. Devote yourself to something you do well. Orchestrate your life so
that you always have some event or activity to look forward to. Stop defining
success in terms of huge breakthroughs and see it in each modicum of progress
you make. Above all, break away from other people's standards and expectations.
Find Pleasure in
Everyday Life:
No matter how busy or preoccupied you are, take a few minutes several times a
day to be in the present moment. Wake up your senses. Discover what delights
you and indulge yourself accordingly. A teacher friend takes a few moments each
morning and afternoon to savor a cup of freshly brewed tea, and she refuses to
drink from a mug, rotating her collection of elegant teacups from home to
classroom. For you, maybe it's fresh flowers, mystery novels, rummaging through
antique stores, motorcycle riding or movies. Want inspiration? Read Simple
Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy by Sarah Ban Breathnach (Warner Books,
1995).
Cultivate Friendships:
Studies have shown that having confidants and companions is a key factor in
experiencing a sense of well-being. Social support boosts the immune system and
improves the quality (and possibly the length) of life. Friends often see humor
in tough situations, help put troubles into perspective and soften life's
blows. Confiding in close friends relieves stress.
Act Happy:
Try exploiting one of social psychology's key principles: Act yourself into
reality. Acting cheerful can help trigger positive emotions. Adopt the stance
of being a confident, happy, successful person and you will grow into the role.
A number of techniques can help: In her books and workshops, Dr. Jeannette Vos
(The Learning Revolution, 1994) teaches people to change their
"state" using music. Start by playing music that matches your present
mood and then gradually change the music to reflect the mood you desire. Color
can also be used to improve mood: warm, bright, active colors help relieve
depression and neutral colors tend to alleviate anxiety and tension.
Live a Meaningful Life:
Discover a greater purpose -- one strong enough to get you through minor
hassles and major traumas. For a powerful exercise, try writing a personal
mission statement. If you need assistance, read Creating Your Mission Statement
for Work and for Life by Laurie Beth Jones. (You can order it online at
www.amazon.com). Get clear about the values and ethics that guide your life. An
excellent resource is the Josephson Institute of Ethics, a nonprofit
organization dedicated to improving the ethical quality of society by teaching
"principled reasoning and ethical decision making." Visit their website
(www.charactercounts.org) and see how you measure up to the "Six Pillars
of Character." Don't let the colorful graphics and kids' photos fool you.
It's a rich site with information for all ages.
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