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| "He Thinks" is... *sob* over. Posted chapter twenty-seven a coupl'a days ago (146 reviews, in total) and man, oh man, am I getting a little bored. Of course, there's still the fic with Deb, which is NOT forgotten... and this other sort of parody of fanfiction I'm doing. Just putting the finishing touches on chapter 1.
Dig this: Someone subscribed to my blog. I wonder why... *waves to the person*
There's a Monk Viewer's Choice Marathon on tonight -- starts at six, and there's a countdown to the most beloved episodes before the mid-season finale begins (Mr. Monk Takes His Medicine). "Medicine" is looking very good -- Adrian driving around in a red convertable, wearing Hawaiian shirts, shooting people with water guns... And, of course, my favorite line from the preview:
Adrian: (holding his index fingers and thumbs together, forming a square...to Sharona) It's a square. That's what you are.
Bwahahahaha... I love whoever wrote that. | | |
| I found the second book in that Russell/Holmes series and, upon reaching an area near the middle, put it down. I can't read it anymore. I just can't.
Questions like "Are you a virgin, Mary?" randomly popping around, discussions of lesbianism -- I suppose it's my religious stance on both subjects that gets me so annoyed, but also the blatant lack of a NEED for any of this to be said. Upon re-examining the last 4 hours worth of reading material I have ingested, I can find no place in the future where any of this offensive stuff might be further documented.
For pete's sake, who really cares if Mary's a virgin? Not me! Not Holmes, because he cares for her on an intellectual and emotional level -- not merely a physical one. Veronica certainly can't care, and to even ask such a thing seems so very out of character, from what I've interpreted of her personality.
A girl intent on doing good deeds and helping the less fortunate, worried about her boyfriend's heroin addiction could not be troubled, I think, with such a strange and personally spiritual question merely because of happiness.
As for the lesbianism -- alright, it's a church focused on empowering women in post-WWI territories and assisting them, from what I can tell. There is no need to mention any lesbian relationships that might be taking place inside of said organization (once again, who really cares!?). I'd really rather not spend my time reading about Delia pining away for Margery (was that even ACKNOWLEDGABLE back then?!) and eventually committing suicide when there could be verbal sparring between Russell and Holmes. Verbal sparring that has NOTHING TO DO WITH EITHER OF THEIR PERSONAL LIVES, might I add.
Where "Beekeeper" showed the hesitant affection between a rather spoiled teenager and her older, sarcastic mentor, "A Monstrous Regiment of Women" proves to be mildly interesting and, in my opinion (after having read this stuff Ms. King has inserted), a rather sad waste of time. I was so looking forward to the idea of... well, something I didn't find.
No one believes in love or romance without sex, and it kills me. It's enough to make me wish I lived in the good ol' days of Jane Austen, when virtue was looked upon with quiet pride and not scorn.
Excuse me... I have to go and watch The Remains of the Day now, it being the only movie I know of where to characters love each other and never really "do" anything. | | |
| My sister, Zoe, just sent me the weirdest thing... Apparently, it was on some Meg Cabot message board (she writes the Princess Diaries books) -- some girl had posted it with her thoughts next to certain things. So, I've decided to do the same... just because.
If Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord!
Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your
child may have gone astray from the Lord.
Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous
culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil,darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer,
and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child:
-Frequently wears black clothing. (Umm, don't our Mommies tell us black is slimming?)
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts. (What if it's Peter, Paul and Mary? Or The Monkees? They weren't goth! I have a Beatles t-shirt, am I goth?!)
-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish. (The lipstick is a little odd, but eye make-up and nailpolish? Does that make mascara an evil, I wonder?)
-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include:
reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various
other Satanic worshipping symbols. (This one actually makes sense.)
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos. (Makes sense.)
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of
music. Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks
against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY. --- (NO, do NOT discard such albums immediately! Speak to your child about the themes of the music they are listening to, make sure they understand how stuff like that can influence them and then ASK WHAT THEY THINK SHOULD BE DONE!)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak
eccentrically. (Oh, crap. I'm making my friends goth.)
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such
as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports. (Makes sense to look out for this one.)
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic,
the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan. (Makes sense...)
-Takes drugs. (*in mock-disbelief* NO... they want people to HELP kids on drugs now? Sure took 'em long enough...)
-Drinks alcohol. (see above)
-Is suicidal and/or depressed. (And this has never required monitoring before...?)
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and
His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)--- (Umm, duh.)
-Complains of boredom. (...Crap. Another mark against me.)
-Sleeps too excessively or too little. (Today just isn't my day...)
-Is excessively awake during the night. (What if they have INSOMNIA? It plagues millions of people worldwide!)
-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to
vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.) -- (Dang. I'm in trouble... I hate going outside.)
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy. (This does seem suspicious.)
-Spends large amounts of time alone. (Hey, being a loner doesn't make you a goth! I would know...)
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits.) -- (Maybe... but maybe the kid just has headaches, migraines, or is trying to write a fanfiction!)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult. (Mmm... Suspicious. But sometimes kids just want to be alone and talk about their would-be boy/girlfriends. Or, if you're my friend, Adrian Monk and Colin Firth.)
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and
elders are but a few examples of this. (Maybe the kid's just spoiled and has never been taught that sort of stuff.)
-Misbehaves at school. (Does this mean, "points their hand at someone and pretends it's a gun"?)
-Misbehaves at home. (Dang, I'm fighting a losing battle, here...)
-Eats excessively or too little. (Maybe they're obsessive-compulsive. Or anorexic. JEEZ, there is more than one answer to every problem!)
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this. (I think they mean Count Chocula... But hey, if it's chocolate, a majority of children will want it for breakfast!)
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood.
(Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.) -- (Gross. If you know your child is drinking blood and you haven't done anything until reading THIS, you're just plain stupid.)
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media
sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.) -- (Monk and Frasier are ANYTHING BUT EVIL! Besides, if your child never encounters the things it's possible to see on televison, how are they going to react upon arriving in the Real World and finding it? Can you people say NERVOUS BREAKDOWN?)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature. (Darn. Strongbad's "Peasant's Quest" is out for me... and Pokemon.)
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer. (...*whimpers* But I loves my Adrian/Sharona reading time!)
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music. (The last thing -- Crap. I'm not allowed to headbang, either?!)
-Dances to music in a provocative manner. (Well, yes. This SHOULD generally be avoided, as it can lead to compromising situations.... But if you dance in a provocative manner in front of the 'rents, you're pretty much disturbed, anyway.)
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual. (Yeah, I'm against this. But it doesn't mean you should tell your kids that they're possessed by the devil and must be exorcized.)
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism. (Buddhism? WHAT THE FLIPPIN' HECK?! Buddhism, while it does not involve a Greater Power, is about finding inner peace and whatnot. Ooh, it just oozes evil.)
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth". (Woe is me? I say that all the time...)
-Claims to be a goth. (What if they're not, though? What if they're priggy and shop at fancy stores and say "I'm a goth." Does that MAKE THEM GOTH?!?)
If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.
*counts in her head* Oh, crap. Thirteen. The men in white coats are coming for me!
Disclaimer: No, seriously, folks. I'm a religious person, and while SOME of the things on this list can be threats to an individual's spirituality and well-being, the majority of it sounds ridiculous. Some of it's just plain stupid.
I advise all parents to go with their own instincts about their child's safety, and not cater to the demands of some prejudiced, stuck-in-the-fifties list. I mean, it's the world and, as the leader of my religion has said countless times, we have to live in it. | | |
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Oh, by the way -- I finshed Beekeeper. It was really, really devastatingly lovely... but Russ and Holmes did not get together at the end and it made me rather sad.
I wanted them to, I really did!! | | |
| Hannah's List of Husbands -- Seventh Edition
Just so everyone knows, this is NOT in alphabetical order. I don't have that kind of time on my hands, regardless of any Adrian-ish inclinations. NOTE: This list includes fictional characters.
David Hyde Pierce (Frasier, Down With Love)
Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy (Pride & Prejudice)
Colin Firth (Pride & Prejudice, What a Girl Wants)
Remus Lupin (Harry Potter)
Johnny Depp (Pirates of the Caribbean, Edward Scissorhands)
Sherlock Holmes (The Beekeeper's Apprentice... and the Conan Doyle books)
Orlando Seale (Pride & Prejudice: a Latter-Day Comedy... and an episode of Monk. He was the French underling in "Paperboy")
Klaus Baudelaire (Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events)
Ioan Gruffudd (Horatio Hornblower, King Arthur)
Captain Jack Sparrow (PotC)
Tony Shalhoub (Monk, Wings)
Adrian Monk (Monk)
Chris Carrabba (lead singer of Dashboard Confessional)
Dr. Niles Crane (Frasier, one episode of Caroline in the City... AS Niles)
Ewan McGregor (The Star-Wars prequels, Big Fish)
Peter Parker (Spiderman MOVIES)
Tobey Maguire (Peter Parker in the Spiderman movies, Pleasantville)
Billy Cranston (The ORIGINAL Mighty Morph'n Power Rangers)
Jake Gyllenhaal (The Day After Tomorrow, October Sky)
Antonio Scarpacci (Wings)
That British Guy Who Played Mr. Gracie (Haunted Mansion)
Robert Carmine (lead singer of Rooney)
Colonel Brandon (Sense & Sensibility)
Billy Boyd (Pippin in Lord of the Rings)
Daniel Craig (apparently, he was in that movie about Sylvia Plath)
Kip Dynamite (Napoleon Dynamite)
David Mahooley(David and Della)
Nicholas Brendon (Xander Harris in Buffy: The Vampire Slayer)
Xander Harris (Buffy: The Vampire Slayer) | | |
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