So my dear friend Hari is at my heels wanting me to update this blog. I, on the other hand, have no idea what to write, and am not really up to it. So Hari...this is for you.

Lets see...since January 24, I think I've been to winter formal...which was nice, I turned 17(Yay!!! ), and have up to this point refused to buy prom tickets. Oh, and I've been to school, more often than I would have liked to, and i think I've read a couple good books. I'm catching up on my Harry Potter movies, exposing myself to the disgraces of beauty and the geek, and watching the olympics with surprisingly genuine interest.   

Everyone makes mistakes; I know that I have made more than a fair share of them. And yet, when I look back, I think they made me who I am. There has yet to be a mistake from which I havent learned a healthy lesson, and been able to recover...move on...and make the best of what I have. I think thats the most important thing anyone can do.

The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one. (Elbert Hubbard - 1856-1915)

wow. the last update was a really long time ago. haha. oops, i guess i should write in here more.

so i found this on someone's blog, who got this from someone else. 

In the past 48 hours have you...?

1. Cried: No.
2. Bought something: nope, unless you want to count groceries
3. Gotten sick: surprisingly no.
4. Sang: Yup, but i bet you were glad you werent there.
5. Eaten: Of course. lets see...48 hrs, means i ate at least 3 times if not more
6. Been kissed: haha, no.
7. Felt stupid: I dont remember.
8. Wanted to tell someone you loved them, but didnt?: nope.
9. Met someone new: Yes! i met this girl who rides my bus.
10. Moved on: what if there was nothing to move on from...
11. Talked to an ex: thats kinda hard when you dont have one
12. Missed an ex: same as above.
13. Talked to someone you have a crush on: nope.  
14. Had a serious talk: yeah.
15. Missed someone: yup.
16. Hugged someone: other than my sister...no one
17. Fought with your parents: surprisingly...no.
18. Dreamed about someone you can't be with: ....

SOCIAL LIFE:

1. Best girl friends: The best would be Anuja. but i have lots.  
2. Been with your best friends: umm..no.
3. Boyfriend/Girlfriend: No.
4. Hobbies: books, reading, and i should say wasting time, especially since im filling this out.
5. Pager: No, dont have one.
6. Are you center of attention or the wallflower: i tend to stick to the wall.
7. What type of automobile do you drive: well, when i do drive, it happens to be an old cranky toyota.
8. What type of automobile do you wish you drove: anything expensive.
9. Would you rather be with friends or on a date: definatly friends
10. Where is the best hangout: the mall? or my room, or someone's room. anywhere where you can talk.
11. Do you have a job: No.
12. Do you attend church: No. but i do go to the temple often
13. Do you like being around people: Yes. but only when they are not being annoying.

WHO:

1. Who have you known the longest: In NC it would have to be vaishu.
2. Do you argue with the most: unfortunatly, it would have to be my parents or my sister. I guess i'm just not an arguer.
3. You always get along with: Anuja.
4. Is the most trustworthy: Anuja.
5. Makes you laugh the most: I think just about everyone makes me laugh.
6. Has been there through all the hard times: Anuja, Heather
7. Has the coolest parents: definatly not me.
8. Has the scariest siblings: I dont really know...i think i'll look into this
9. Is the smartest: well...the smartest kid i have ever known has to be vivek. the kid is awesome. there is nothing that he doesnt know.

PERSONAL:

1. Who is your role model: theres this really cool guy on CNN...Sanjay Gupta. He is my God, almost; my mom/parents, Dr. Desai
2. What are some of your pet peeves: certain ppl who i dont wish to name, and probably lying.
3. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with: yes.
4. Have you ever cried over the opposite sex: i think i have.
5. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after?: i dont know, i've never really thought about it. they're just guys who i think are cool.  
6. Have you ever lied to your best friend(s): yes, but not big lies. just small white ones.
7. Ever wanted to get revenge on someone because they hurt you: for some reason, i dont know how to be mad at someone for more than a couple of hours.
8. Would you rather be dumper or dumped? dumper. i dont know why.
9. Rather have a relationship or a "hookup": Relationship.
10. Want someone you don't have right now? maybe... 
11. Ever liked your best guy/girl friend: Yes. That's happened a couple of times, actually.
12. Do you want to get married: I'm Indian. thats part of the contract.
13. Do you want kids: yes.again, its stated explicitly in contract.
14. Do you believe in psychics: depends.
15. Do you believe in soulmates: Yes.
16. What is your favorite part of your emotional being: huh?
17. Are you happy with you: yes and no. i know that im a lot more fortunate than some others.
18. Are you happy with your life: same as above.

CURRENT:

Current Clothes: jeans, turtleneck
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: none
Current Hair: up, like always.
Current Annoyance: its taking way too long for my clothes to dry.
Current Desktop Picture: the sky.
Current Favorite Subject: physics, surprisingly.
Current CD in CD Player: some crazing mix of indian music
Current DVD in player: nothing.
Current Color Of Toenails: no color, but my fingernails are pink!
Current Refreshment: its too late for refreshments.
Current Worry: Midterm grades. finding a ride tomarrow.

LASTS:

Last big car ride: umm...i went to texas awhile ago. i rode around in a car for a long time.
Last good cry: probably at the end of summer. but ive had other, less important ones since then.
Last library book checked out: Inherit the Wind, for my english midterm, and i borrowed Angels&Demons from anuja.
Last movie seen: Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham...for the billionth time yesterday.
Last beverage drank: Water.
Last food consumed: dinner, i dont think you want the specifics of my wonderful indian dinner.
Last crush: that would be too much info to put on a blog.
Last phone call made: i think i'd be pretty safe if i said anuja, but i think it may have actually been my mom.
Last item bought: dress for winter formal

Yay. its finally done! and so are my clothes.

Ok, so I know it's been a while since I last updated with anything significant. It really shouldn’t matter considering Ben's the only one who reads this on a regular basis. The only reason I got a blog was simply because everyone else had one. Yes, it’s a terrible reason, but people do crazy things for conformity.

A while ago, I found the SNs for a bunch of my friends from NY. I was really happy because I hadn’t talked with most of them since I left a couple years back. So now I have 5 or 6 new SNs on my buddy list in the NY section, and every time I see them online I look at their profiles and away messages. It amazes me how much they've changed. Or maybe its how much we've all changed. I feel as if I've stayed the same, and everyone else has evolved. It might just be because the last time I saw them, and talked to them, we were all tiny sixth graders sitting in the lunchroom discussing how hard it was to open lockers, and how we got lost on our way to art. I remember one Halloween in NY when my friends and I got chased all the way down the street by a bunch of rowdy teenagers throwing eggs. Now, I am that rowdy teenager I was always afraid of. Except for the fact that I'm not rowdy, in fact I'm far from it. But I feel like my friends have turned into those people for whom we would at one point make intricate plans to avoid.  People, who I used to consider as very very close friends, seem alien to me. And the worst part is, I'm scared to talk to them. I'll see them online, and think to myself, 'no, talk to ___ tomorrow', and the next day the same thing. I'm not sure exactly why I'm scarred to talk to them, but I am. If they're really my friends, then they shouldn’t judge me, but since I've already judged them, I should expect the same. Maybe its because I'm the one who moved away, but I always feel like I'm the one who's longing to talk to them, and never the other way around. I guess I'm afraid that they don’t remember me anymore, or that they don’t care about me.

So, partially because its really really late right now, and partially because I think I've just be rambling through this entire entry, I'll quite now.

You know you're Bengali, Pakistani, or Indian if......

1. your dad is some sort of engineer or doctor
2. your mother has a short-haired, curly perm
3. your parents still tried to get you into places half-price saying you
were 12 when you were really 15
4. you ask your parents help on one math problem and 2 hours later
they're still lecturing
5. you have a 40 lb. bag of rice in your pantry
6. everyone thinks you're "Indian" no matter what part of South Asia your
ancestors were from
7. you've had a bowl haircut at one point in your life.
8. your parents enjoy comparing you to their friends' kids.
9. you've had to sit through videos with scantily clad, ugly Asian women
attempting to dance and walk around a temple, forest or library.
10. your parents say, "Don't forget your heritage."
11. you drive mostly Japanese cars.
12. you've learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom.
13. you know what's going to happen in every hindi movie before it happens.
14. you've never gotten little red envelopes around February.
15. piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back and closet doors.
16. your father and grandfathers have hair on their ears
17. idiot people try to impress you with pathetic imitation Asian languages.
18. your ancestors 1000 generations back invented the back scratcher.
19. at least one family member wears black wire/plastic frame glasses.
20. your parents hover over your tired, caffeine-drugged body at 12
midnight to say, "In India (or other native country), we studied even more."
21. your parents expect you'll be best friends with any one of the street
in any given area as long as they are Asian.
22. an Asian woman comes on campus and people ask: "Is that your mother?
Well then, is it your sister?"
23. your relatives' houses smell like incense, mothballs or both
24. your parents say, "Calculus? I took calculus in 8th grade!!"
25. everyone thinks you're good at math.
26. you like $1.75 movies
27. you like $1.50 movies even more.
28. your aunts and uncles bring you back adorable clothing from Asia
with fuzzy bunnies, vinyl ducks and English words that make no sense,
in great colors like yellow, pink, magenta, orange and the ever popular lime
green.
29. your parents insist you marry within your race.
30. you either really, really want to go to NYU or really, really want to
stay away from it.
31. your parents have never kissed you
32. you learned about the birds and the bees from someone other than your
parents
33. "You want a stereo!" When I was your age, I didn't even have shoes!!"
34. you have to call just about all your parent's friends "Auntie and Uncle."
35. you have 12+ aunts and uncles from both your mother's and your father's side.
36. at expensive restaurants, you order a delicious glass of water for your beverage
and NEVER order dessert.
37. your parents simply cut the green/black part off the bread and say "Eat it
anyway. It's still good."
38. the vast majority of the people related to you wear glasses. Thick glasses.
39. you will most likely be taller than your parents.
40. your parents have either made you play the piano, the violin or both.
41 you get nothing if you do well in school, but crapped on if you don't.
42. when going to other peoples' houses, you always have to bring a gift.
43. your dad still pulls his socks up to his knees, you know, the ones
with the blue and pink stripes at the top.
44. your family owns a tennis racquet.
45. your family always cheers for the Asian athlete on TV (i.e. Michael \Chang)
46. the furniture in your house never matches the wallpaper, the carpet, the
decorations or any of the rest of the furniture.
47. you have rocks, sticks, leaves and strange-smelling, unknown substances
in your pantry for use as medicine.
48. you own a rice cooker for four.
49. you buy corn oil by the gallon.
50. your family owns butcher knives bigger than your head.
51. your parents tell you about how long it took for them to get to school, how
horrible the weather was in their native country, and how much they still appreciated
going.
52. your parents buy you clothes and shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow
into it" and wear it for years to come."
53. your parents own two refrigerators
54. you're not allowed to purchase anything unless you have a coupon or it's on sale
55. Your parents favorite question at a restaurant - "do you have extra
jalepenos/tobasco sauce?"
56. you're going to be the proud owner of your father's motel/dry cleaners/gas
station when you grow up
57. your parents have to know your friends', father's, cousin's, in-laws, dog's first,
middle and last name, as well as complete life history, before they're acceptable