things are definitely turning around...

maybe, maybe not.

well summer vacation has started for me, and by the looks of it, it has by far been okay. ive watched two movies (hitch and a series of unfortunate events), played nba live, met up with some friends, and talked on the phone. this is my first time online in two weeks, and im kind of bored. hehe just when i think summer is all "fun" some things crash by to ruin my day.

first off, i couldnt go to meyo's party. i had wanted to and was well prepared for it, but circumstances beyond my control prevented me from going. had it not been for that, i would have enjoyed with my blockmates, and have paid favor to meyo, one of my closest buds in our block. and i promise i wouldnt drink alchohol.

secondly, a girl i knew was not being entirely truthful to me. if u wanna know about this, please just ask me personally. (nats, il tell u bout this soon)

thirdly, someone has been getting on my nerves. as i said before im kind of an "accept-all" person. but it turns out that it clashes dynamically with a "im-always-right" personality, and it hurt when he/she turns the whole story in his/her favor. the world does not revolve on its right axis anymore.

fourth, decision-making sucks.

well bad as those things seem, i guess we can all say kudos to the summer. at least theres no more derivatives and integration that has haunted my second semester. and im not anymore anxious of the grades to come out because if anything, im proud of what i'd accomplished.

this sem, ive been cersa open house programs head, som week promo head, actm's most outstanding freshman member, acadcom deputy programs head, 2ndrunner up ms.iac (hehe)......im proud of these, although i can say that i didnt gain all these all alone. ive had help and encouragement. thanks guys!

next sem, there will be more possibilities, and i hope to do more great things. for now, the'res so much more to enjoy. c yah! hav a fun summer everyone!

time passes by so fast when things are nothing but perfect.

last saturday, i had the time of my life. just when i thought that my weekend was going to be a boring one, (especially since i succumb to the thouhght of putting myself in "nerd mode"), things took a positive turn. tita janice announced that the youth ecnounter group was going to be having a bible study that saturday afternoon which meant:

1. getting to see my friends--constant companions during off-school days

2. prying myself away from books, and enjoying moments with God and with friends

3. getting to hear different stories about life that maybe will inspire me to change or create change

4. well, there is a lot of food, who could refuse?

and so ia pproached the event with excitement, and true enough, during the bible study were a whole bunch of laughs, stories, life lessons, prayers, and "catching up" during lost time. at those moments, id plainly wish for time to stop. in fact, i thought time would come to halt and leave me with my friends right then and there forever.

but then as eality would have it, wed have to say goodbye. and hours after, we did, with a little resignation, but not with regret. i knew for a fact that i was happy with how things turned out. i needed this break. i needed to unwind and listen to stories, update on the lives of my friends, and simply share a few laughs.

i guess we need to lighten up sometimes. time may pass unconciously, but nothing is ever worth regretting, for every memory constitutes lessons, laughter and a hope for more life-altering, fun and memorable encounters

im starting on a new poem..get the creative juices flowing in the midst of schoolwork                                                    

the benefits and hassles of having tu laybs.. oh i cud never fathom why or how i have to go through this. well on one hand, i am happy na with the way things are. on the other hand, sometimes hassle magkaroon ng dalawang buhay.

my first, and most-loved life is the one in lipa. well no one could ever take that away from me. the fact that i have to go back and forth every week is hassle enough, maybe for me, but greatly for my parents who bring and fetch me in the dorm. and then there's the cliche-ish homesickness. i know this is not the right time to be feeling such, but then everytime i remember my lipa friends get the chance to talk to them, etc i feel that had i stayed behind, i would have a much better life and outlook. it feels so overwhelmingly sad to be detached from the world i live now just because i couldnt fully let go of the world i left behind.

but then i have no intention of ever letting it go... and here comes the benefit of my two lives. i can have as many friends as i want...i can learn from two different perspectives...i can have a lot more experiences to share which pretty much makes me an interesting person. there are opportunities far beyond my imagination here in manila, and there is a sense of comfort and solidarity back in lipa. i could have both worlds...i have both worlds. its not so much on whether your happy or not.

you know what i realized? our own happiness do not matter much. strange? its how i feel. honestly, i cannot be truly happy (even if everything in my life is to be happy about most of the time) if the people around me are not happy.its hard to rejoice over your accomplishments, when beside you there is someone wanting to get up. its hard to be optimistic about life when the people u care about do not find any hope.

in the end, its not yourself that matters. its them. i hope we can all refocus our attention not whether how we will be happy...rather on how we can make others happy. and i guess it is there that we become happy--and whole--throughout our lives.

this..this is what my two lives have taught me, first and foremost.

wanna make yabang

after all, matagal-tagal na ring puro negative ang nandito, i wanna tell u something that happened kanina during acadcom elections. well believe it or not, i was elected for special projects head together with kuya dars. nung una, sa promotions pa, pero naniniwala ako sa feedback ni ate vida na mas okay ang progress ko pag sa special projects ako. i myt as well trust her judgement as i have done for the past year kasi i personally believe that she proves wise when it comes to judging people.

i really love acadcom...at truly tutuparin ko ang sinabi ko sa yahoo groups months ago, na il stay for four years, or as long as i am in the dorm. i dont know what is it about our bondings that make even a schoolnight loaded with work worth going through. basta stay ako dito. this is where i find the courage to lead,follow, be my own person, be liked for what i am, and have fun.

its sad nga lang that ate vida has to leave.  il miss her like crazy, for sure.